knunchucksammy Posted September 4, 2006 Posted September 4, 2006 This is my first post, and I have been next to dying over this issue for some time now, after she let up yet another TMI (too much info). Let me tell you about her and I so you can better understand the situation: Both in our mid twenties and we have both been raised in really religious homes, we backlashed when we got out of the home of course, and are now no longer religious. We have a lot in common. We do things together all of the time. I feel she genuinely makes me happy and betters my life. I have never been more happy and satisfied in my entire life, yet there is this issue of Jealousy that we can not seem to get over. Especially when we are talking about past partners. We DO NOT say how many partners we have had. We just hint. It's so far against the rules because we both talk as if there are a bit. When she was talking about her ex-boyfriends history she did say "he has only had six partners" and that kills me. ONLY SIX! ONLY!?!? Now the problem lies when I am hiding in my head, that she is my 20th partner, and I am two years younger (that puts me at 23). I am afraid that if we have the number talk, and she has more than me, I am not going to be able to be with her anymore. It is going to kill me. I have such a graphic mind and all I can do is actually imagine her with other men when we talk about this stuff. I feel as though I am not special. That I am being compared to many other men, that maybe there are so many flavors in her memory that there are just some things she likes about me. I feel that even though she says I am the best, and the best looking, and the most intimate, and the most in common, that maybe that is just how she is and she says that to all of her boyfriends. People do work in patterns. Her TMI's: She told me a story about how she used to go down on her boyfriend while he played video games. She told me that she got "hooked up" with a friends friend after her first boyfriend and her broke up (when she was 21 or so) and then she tried to have a foursome with this other couple to make her ex jealous. Luckily she was denied. She cheated on one of her boyfriends when she visited home. She had sex with her ex-boyfriend on a pool table in a bar. Such a gross visual. I can't seem to get these things out of my head. The upside: She has only had sex with people that she wanted to make boyfriends, or people that were boyfriends. She has never been in a three way or anything like that. I have had one night stands. Two in one vacation to mexico. I have slept with people I didn't care about, and I have had group sex. All things she doesn't know. This makes me wonder WHY THE F DO I CARE SO MUCH!? I shouldn't care because my history is so black and promiscous but now that I care about her so much, and I feel so happy with her all I can do is visualize all of these other men and I feel like our relationship is about as important as one of the one night stands I had if she obviously is so easy to people she is attracted to. Still I hear in my head "only six". Please help. I am a mess... Matt
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