JessicaTheRighteous Posted September 4, 2006 Posted September 4, 2006 Hi, I've been seeing a great guy for the past 5 months. We both have hectic work schedules so only see each other about once a week, but try to talk every day. We've never hung out during the day (mostly because we're both busy/working during the day, and tend to have more fun at night anyway!). He's perfect in every way - affectionate, genuine, calls me when he says he will, gorgous, funny etc etc. The only problem is - I'm not head over heels. I like him, but to be honest if it all ended tomorrow I'd only be mildly dissapointed. He is definitely into me and I dont understand why i'm not that into him. He recently went for a 4 week holiday and 2 weeks in - I'm not really even missing him. I still love going out and having a crazy time and he is 9 years older than me so a bit over that. He says I should go out and enjoy myself but sometimes it annoys me that he's not that much fun. I like to be spontaneous and he's been there done that. At the same time, I know this period in my life wont last forever and Id hate to end it with him only to regret it later. He really is husband material. Do these things take time? Should I be worried that I'm not in lust at this stage? Any advice would be great!
Sally00 Posted September 6, 2006 Posted September 6, 2006 It sounds like you're not into him ... as a boyfriend. But it DOES seem like you're into him AS A FRIEND. I suggest thinking about this relationship... because you don't want to lead him on and hurt him.
norajane Posted September 6, 2006 Posted September 6, 2006 Sounds like the age difference is an experience difference, and you don't want to miss out on the experiences he's already had. I'd venture to guess you're having a hard time connecting with a guy with whom you can't share those fun and new experiences with. What you should do depends on how important that is to you. Some women don't care about the going out stuff, and are more than ready for a husband who's in the next stage of settling down. I don't think you are.
Ukwizard Posted September 7, 2006 Posted September 7, 2006 Hi Jessica, Its hard to give a proper response to what you say. There is no infomation to say how old you are, and how many previous relationships you`ve had. Since I don`t know, if there have been any other boyfriends. I don`t know if I can say it coud be the fact that you are comparing him with your previous boyfriends. How did you meet? What is it thats lacking in this relationship compared to your previous relationships. You sound like me around 17 months ago when I met my first proper girlfriend. I met her on a dating site, and she liked me a lot. It turns a hell of a lot, but I wasn`t sure if I liked her as much 7 months into dating her. When I was out dating with her, sometime I withdrew from her. I didn`t understand why, but I think I got a bit frightened of the fact that she had been married before for 10 years, and she had 2 children. I thought to myself that maybe there is more to this. I also went on hoilday for 7 days, and during that time, I didnt really miss her. Sometime I did, but others times I diodnt think of her as much. Well, in the end she dumped me. It ws a huge shock. It turns out that I did love her after all. I sank into deep depression, and had to get counselling, and everything. I think peole fall in love at different rates. I moved very slow, and my ex was very deep, and intimate. The reason why your not feeling right could be because of your hectic lives. I mean seeing each other once a week isn`t enough. With my LDR with my ex, sometime I saw her twice a week if I was lucky. I think you don`t have the connection there just yet. The intimacy isn`t there seeing each other once a week. Try to look at what you are not happy with. Why you arent missing him. Is it because he`s not really there? (out of sight, out of mind?) Give yourself more time, and try to talk to him.
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