firemarshal22 Posted September 4, 2006 Posted September 4, 2006 20 Years and my wife is no longer in love with me. Am I so dumb to want to feel love and affection? All I get from her is nothing. She tells me it's over and she doesn't love me. We have two boys 13 and 15. I am so lonely and feel so useless and don't know how to feel again.
LakesideDream Posted September 4, 2006 Posted September 4, 2006 I feel for you pardner. LS is full of spouses that have gone through this, or are going through it. There is no easy answer. It may seem like a terrible thought however 80% + of spouses who decide to leave to "get space", "find themselves" or "love you but don't love you anymore"... do it because they have found someone new. Preapare yourself for that probability. Don't make any decisions, and don't move out of your home. Start reading, find out what you are up against. The first few days are the worse. It does get a little better. Knowledge leads to personal power, which is something you need. You need the power and self-esteem to make rational decisions. Good Luck, keep posting you will get plenty of advice.
Sand&Water Posted September 4, 2006 Posted September 4, 2006 First and foremost, seek professional help. Marriage counselling. This way, you at least are willing to give your marriage an opportunity to partially mend and understand each other's pain(s). Do not, and I repeat, do not put the pressure of a broken marriage on your children. They were a product of love, and do not in any way have fault in the choices you and your wife make. Keep them away from escalading arguments/fights that are a result of mishaps in other areas of your life. Last but not least, if you are not happy with your marriage (after marriage counselling) then think of divorce as an option. A prolonged failed marriage can harm your children in ways beyond your imagination. In some cases, they may develop social and emotional issues. Think about how you intend to follow through with what you've got. In the end, divorce may be the best for you and your (and wife) children (divorce is not the answer for every failed marriage. It is possible to turn your marriage around. It can be done!).
luvstarved Posted September 4, 2006 Posted September 4, 2006 I am sorry for what you are going through. As you peruse this board, you will at least see that you are not alone. I know that misery doesn't REALLY love company, but it does help to vent and hear from others who can relate to what you are going through. You haven't said much about the specifics of your situation. Has she asked for separation or just distancing herself emotionally at this point? It is true that in a majority of cases this ends up indicating there is another person in the picture, but there are always exceptions. This is a great place to unburden yourself and talk to others about your problems. You will get a lot of support and advice here, if you just ask. Most people are here because they are having issues of one kind or another, and getting an objective point of view can be very helpful. So please don't hesitate to share your situation and feelings, it is what we are all here for. Best wishes.
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