stlcrds Posted September 4, 2006 Posted September 4, 2006 I met this guy over the summer. He is 44 been married and divorced, apparantly his wife cheated. His girlfriend on four years left him after he built her a house, that was two years ago. he has not dated since. We were friendly during the summer. Not much contact at all. Well I gave my name and number to his friend, who proceeded to tell me that he did not think his friend would call because he has been burnt so badly in the past by women. So i call him. We had a great conversation and I asked him if he would like to do something sometime, he said yes. Well it has been a week and he has not called. I think he is interested because he took my number and said we would do something sometime. What is the deal??????
stoopid_guy Posted September 4, 2006 Posted September 4, 2006 men.....who understands them!!?? I sure don't. On the other hand, this fella's got some uncertainty, it may be that he's just not ready. I wouldn't rush him.
Blackfrost Posted September 4, 2006 Posted September 4, 2006 what's the deal? obviously you haven't clearly read your own post. The man has some painful issues with women. So what if you had a great conversation with him? if he has unresolved issues, a conversation probably isn't going solve them. How hard is it for you to understand that if you pursue someone who has problems (as you mentioned that his friend said), you're going to run into some of the baggage.
whichwayisup Posted September 4, 2006 Posted September 4, 2006 And I'll add on to BF's post, the fact you know about his past relationships, it means that if you like him, YOU have to put in more effort, show him that you aren't going to hurt him, and that you're different than the others... He may not be willing to make the first step. So, why not YOU get his number, call him and ask him out. If he says he's busy or another time, then you wait for him to call, then if he doesn't you'll have your answer for sure. I do think he's probably interested in you, but nervous to call.
Outcast Posted September 4, 2006 Posted September 4, 2006 the fact you know about his past relationships, it means that if you like him, YOU have to put in more effort, show him that you aren't going to hurt him, and that you're different than the others. And to do that you'll likely have to endure years of jumping through hoops because a lot of men, it seems, unlike most women I've ever known, have a tendency to turn terrified forever if they've been hurt badly once. It certainly seems true that women are much stronger emotionally.
Author stlcrds Posted September 10, 2006 Author Posted September 10, 2006 Well I did it. I asked him out last Tuesday for dinner. We had a great time. Conversation went well and he said he was glad I asked him out. He also said we needed to go out again and he would call me. Well it has been four days. What gives??
Author stlcrds Posted September 10, 2006 Author Posted September 10, 2006 Well I did it, I asked him out. We had dinner and conversation went well. He said he was glad I asked him out and said we should go out again sometime. He also said he would call. It has been four days and he has not called. What gives??
Island Girl Posted September 10, 2006 Posted September 10, 2006 What an awful feeling that he hasn't called after you went out. Since you asked him out the first time, he did go, and you think it went well, the ball is in his court. Wait for him to call but don't sit by the phone. Unfortunately you could have had such a good time that he could have imagined really caring for you and scared the crap out of himself. If he is afraid and has gone into hiding nothing you do can get him out of it. He'll have to do it himself. Just don't wait around for it to happen. It sounds like you are sensible and know how to have a good time on dates. Don't restrict yourself to only this guy as an option.
RecordProducer Posted September 10, 2006 Posted September 10, 2006 You did good by asking him out, but now the ball is in his court... or is the court in his balls?
Author stlcrds Posted September 10, 2006 Author Posted September 10, 2006 If a date went so well and he seemed interested how long does a guy wait before he calls? I know he has been hurt before but who hasn't. Should I just give him time and be patient?
RecordProducer Posted September 11, 2006 Posted September 11, 2006 I know he has been hurt before but who hasn't. Good point. Apparently some people are much weaker than others. he could have imagined really caring for you and scared the crap out of himself. Yeah, who needs a guy who freaks out when things are good? Some people expect special treatment for the treatment we've all gotten in the past.
Author stlcrds Posted September 16, 2006 Author Posted September 16, 2006 well it has been one week and three days since we went out. I talked to his good friend the other day. He said the his friend would not say something and not mean it.....like when he said he was glad i asked him out, he said we should go out again sometime, and he said he would call. His friend said he was a sincere kind of guy. If he said he was going to do something he will. Well I don't have much patience. I thought he would call by now, but my friends tell me that he is interested but he is being very cautious due to the fact he was burned severely before by two women. How long should I give him before I call him?? His friend said he had been trying to get him to go out with someone for a long time and he would never go. However, he did go with me!! That tells me something!!
Flicker Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 Just call and ask him out again! If the worst that can happen is that he says "no", that's not so bad. At least you'll know where you stand.
Rooster_DAR Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 I agree, try again and maybe he will start feeling a little more enthusiastic about dating again. Just because he's been burned so many times does'nt make him weak, it means he is cabable of emotion at the very least. If you continue to see him not participate after that, I would consider leaving him alone. Good luck!
michelangelo Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 Why be so hung up on who does the asking out? Just give him a call.
pricillia Posted September 20, 2006 Posted September 20, 2006 I met this guy over the summer. He is 44 been married and divorced, apparantly his wife cheated. His girlfriend on four years left him after he built her a house, that was two years ago. he has not dated since. We were friendly during the summer. Not much contact at all. Well I gave my name and number to his friend, who proceeded to tell me that he did not think his friend would call because he has been burnt so badly in the past by women. So i call him. We had a great conversation and I asked him if he would like to do something sometime, he said yes. Well it has been a week and he has not called. I think he is interested because he took my number and said we would do something sometime. What is the deal?????? He has been hurt before so you have to take this one slow. Sometimes for men it is easier to give up and not try, If you really like him then have some patience, and also remember he may not be ready. May sound silly but I found a good website, it is called askmen.com, it is for men but give me some good ideas, I like to be one step ahead. Good luck!
Rooster_DAR Posted September 20, 2006 Posted September 20, 2006 Askmen.com is where all the alpha males on this site come from. LOL alphamale=head on straight Hahaha
alphamale Posted September 20, 2006 Posted September 20, 2006 alphamale=head on straight Hahaha what does that mean?
pricillia Posted September 20, 2006 Posted September 20, 2006 Askmen.com is where all the alpha males on this site come from. LOL alphamale=head on straight Hahaha no no no.... it is fun to read... it is pretty LOL though... but you can read something does not mean you have to believe it... Everyone always picks on Alphamale...
pricillia Posted September 20, 2006 Posted September 20, 2006 it may be bird against bird pretty soon...
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