MM7 Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 I'll try to keep this a simple question, here's the situation. I have been dating someone for about two months. The relationship developed very quickly and is very good in almost every respect. Because right now we are both very busy and live some distance apart, we are spending the weekends together and once in a while time during the week. My girlfriend (GF) has an ex (Ex). They have not been in a romantic relationship for over two years, but loosely share custody of a three-year old (Kid). Generally GF has Kid, but sometimes (often on the weekend) Ex takes Kid. Here is the problem for me. On Friday nights, GF, Ex and Kid (and now me) go out to dinner with mutual friends. This is a long standing social event. (I like the friends, anyway). On Saturdays, GF and Kid (and now me) meet Ex for brunch, then do errands until the afternoon, then Kid naps, then Ex takes Kid. This is really stressing me out. GF sees that time as time to be with Kid while Ex is relieving some parenting responsibilities, and I sort of get that. But for me, that is time that I feel like some kind of neglected accessory while GF and Ex hang out with Kid and talk to each other. It would be easy for me to find some other use for my Saturday, but then I feel as though I am missing one of only two days a week I actually have to spend with GF. Am I being unreasonable in feeling this way? Any suggestions for how to handle it?
orangele Posted September 4, 2006 Posted September 4, 2006 Firstly, I would suggest that you perhaps make the suggestion that you could perhaps do errands while GF and EX are visiting. That way you would not feel like an extra wheel. Also, I would be thankful that your GF and EX have a cooperative relationship with regard to their child. Many times it is much more stressful when your SO is always dealing with turmoil over custody of a child.
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