Any 1 Give Any h e l p!

[Guest]

Hey ppl,

 

Im a 23 year old male currently seeing a 16 year old girl. Dont worry its not as bad as it sounds.. and we are both very normal.lol ..

 

She is a very grown up, fun loving, and very mature 16 year old.. much older than any of her mates !! where as im still a young lad at heart, up for fun etc etc.!!!

 

First met becuz she was the girl next door to my dads, and she was flirting with me etc, all good and i tried 2 withhold my feelings as i knew the age wasnt good but kinda let it go and got her number one day n txt her !! at first i made it out 2 every1 it was all jus a laugh but really i knew she was somin special 2 me !! (even back then)..

 

Anyway at first we didnt want any1 to know about us really but it all got found out and although a little awkward at first, her mum did give me a chance and said i seem decent enough etc etc, and as long as her daughter is happy she is happy..

 

a few weeks later doing what young ppl do we were having a bit of fun and her mum caught her and seen her ass !!... she got grounded for 2 weeks.. wasnt allowed any contact with me , even took her phone off her !!.. that was hard.. not knowing wat was going on etc

 

then it was all good.. moved on and grown up, trying to stick 2 her mums guidelines etc, her mum became less strict and she was allowed out into town clubbing etc with me, but every so often her mum wud flip and completely go back like 10 steps and blow it out of proportion..

 

Anyway... the main thing that happened and that has really upset me was last friday, we went out into town together, had a romantic meal and went to a few clubs. Very romantic and we were both very loved up, her mum originally sed she had 2 b in at 2am but we txt her saying we was having trouble gettin a taxi as the club stayed open till 3 .. and we was having a good nite.. anyway we got back about 4am and her mum didnt know nofin etc..

 

as we didnt know wat was happeneing before we went out , i hadnt sorted out sleeping arrangements (her mum doesnt like me staying at hers, but she can stay at mine :S) .. so i decided to jus sleep in the car.. she brought me some blankets out and gave me a cuddle as we was cold..before we knew it we had both fallen asleep (completely innocently)

 

at 7am her mum came out freaking.. shouting her head off and wudnt let us explain..then she basically turned around n sed dont expect to see her again..

 

since then she has not had her phone on, or been on the internet to return my emails.. im very worried and dont know what to do...

 

Early on the saturday morning i did text her mum and apologised that we worried her, and explained that it was my fault and that it was completely innocent (she was more bothered about being in the car, than anyfin else)...

 

Since then i have heard nothing back, i txt her mum again today jus explaining again but still nothing! I dont know where i stand.. I know me and my girlfriend are very loved up, but as she is young her mum has a huge influence on her !!

 

I respect we upset her mum, but think she will blow it out of proportion a little bit.. and trying to stop us seein each other.. will jus cause deceipt and lies and even more frustration and arguements !!

 

Im basically looking for advice from any1 who may be able to help me sort things out and find a resolution to this problem.. I am really mad in love with this girl (god im on a relationship forum, and never have been before lol) ... and any advice will be welcome and taken on board !!

 

im scared that her mum might try n pull her away from me, also she is starting college this week.. new people and all that, and again scared, she might think... oh **** it !!! I dont fink she wud.. but it crosses my mind as im worried

 

thanks in advance, sorry for the big post

 

xxx

[britchick]

I know this scenario well! My daughter when she was fifteen (she's now 17) started seeing a twenty year old.

I won't go into our situation but I'll try to explain why your girlfriend's mother is behaving like this.

Although your girlfriend is 16 and therefore 'legal' (sounds like you're from the UK), she is still a child. She may be mature for her age, but you can bet your life she isn't that mature at home and so her mother doesn't yet view her as a young woman but as a child it is her moral and legal duty to protect. You come on the scene, the mother thinks you seem ok, so gives you a chance. You two start off behaving but then start pushing the boundaries. Your girlfriends mother is then torn between wanting her daughter to be happy and her natural motherly feelings to protect her daughter. She is no doubt worried that no matter how much you care for her daughter, you are older and will expect certain things from a relationship, sex, staying out late at clubs etc (keeping her out til 4am is just taking the p!$$). She may feel her daughter isn't ready for these things.

 

You have two choices, either look for someone closer to your own age or

speak to her mother again, apologise for what has happened (be specific so she knows that you know what is acceptable) and ask her for another chance. Remember, her mother placed a lot of trust in you, to look after her daughter, this trust has now been broken. If she gives you another chance make sure you are clear about the 'rules' and stick to them. If she wants her daughter home by midnight, it's up to you to make sure she is. Only ring and say you are having trouble getting home if you really are, mothers have very good bs detectors!

[dame_mas]

poor you.. feel sorry reading your post. i just hope her mother will see through what has happened and relax a bit. i mean, even if she is young doesnt mean that she would not be as responsible. talk to the mother is all i can say your best shot in making her see that you mean only good to her daughter...

[littlekitty]

I agree with BritChick. Also at 16, she really shouldn't even be out in clubs. Let alone out until 4am. You had a time limit, you should have been back by then. No arguements, no excuses, just do it.

 

While she lives with her mother, she is bound by her mothers rules whether either of you like it or not.

 

You saw for yourself, when you behaved and stuck to the rules, her mum was fine. When you started pushing the boundries, her mum (quite rightly) put her foot down.

 

Do what BritChick suggested. Go and personally speak to the Mum. Explain that you are sorry, you realise you broke the rules, and assure her that you will not do so again. Then stick to it...!

 

If you are given another chance, you should find in time, as you adhere to her rules, that she will relax them some what. But it is down to her to relax them, and not you to force it.