mocha_ma Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 I been with my current bf for 2 years. To start things off, I asked him when we got together if he had a kid he said no. About 5 months later, he confesses and tells me that he had a kid on the way. (The baby was born two months later. Fastforward to a year later; I didn't quite take to the fact that he had a kid; but I loved him, so I accepted it. A few days ago, I ask him if his baby mama knows about me, he says no; which I already figured. I ask him why she doesn't know about me, he says that he's not ready to face this situation. My boyfriend and I are gluetight; at least I thought we were. He has brings his baby to my house and everything. I try to explain to him that she needs to know of me-but not about me, due to the fact that we are together and he brings his kid around. This is just out of respect for her as a parent; and respect for his kid. But he doesn't understand that. I even broke it down to him in the scenario of what if your baby mama's man is taking your son out to games and you don't know who he is- and he still doesn't hear what I am saying. At that point he tells me to "play my position" and don't worry about his situation; but yet in still you want me to be with you and accept your kid? I think he is still messing around with his BM, but he's saying he's not. How should I address this situation other than dumping him?
superconductor Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 Why is it important to you that she knows about your relationship with him?
Hitman10000 Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 Dump him, there are plenty of dudes that are single and not attached to any 10lb drama.
CrushedOrgans Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 Why is it important to you that she knows about your relationship with him? she said why. she's said it's out of respect for the mother and the child. she's not saying what is also important though--that it is also out of respect for her. there shouldn't be any reason to hide a relationship from someone you aren't with anymore, baby or no baby. and if there is a real reason, it should be made known, because that reason could potentially affect both (or all) involved.
norajane Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 I think he is still messing around with his BM, but he's saying he's not. If you think this is true, why do you want to stay with him? I think that could be why he doesn't tell her that he's been seeing you for TWO YEARS.
abitconfused Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 So it seems he has a problem telling everyone whats going on. There should have been no reason why he would not want to tell the BM if they were broken up. I can see at first why he did not want to tell you about a baby. He maybe afraid you would be turned off by it. But it appears as if there is more going on than you know. And you have to stay with him because? What if you turn out to be a BM? Concider everything being possible and determine if you really must be with him before you continue with your relationship.
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