Dating again?

[Guest]

Okay, to those of you that started dating SGs when in a period of NC or "just friends" because you work with MM and can't go NC, when MM starts putting pressure on b/c he's jealous of the SG (you know pushing all the right buttons), how do you remember you are doing the right thing moving on with your life and how wonderful it is to be dating a REAL man?

[freakygal78]

Guest, I have to say that I have not been in the scenario yet where MM has to realise the fact that I am dating a SG but will be shortly as I have started seeing a SG at work and MM is currently on 2 weeks vacation but when he returns it will be blatantly obvious as now most of the office knows. I never got physically involved with this MM but we did have an EA of sorts if you could call it that or at the least something overstepping what are the appropriate boundaries of friendship. i.e. email interchange, conversations, banter etc. I'm sure when he returns, expecting me to have been pining away over him he will perhaps try some attention-pulling tactics again - I will just have to remember that I have met someone who genuinely cares about me and wants all of me not just a part of my presence. I will have to remember that the excitement of having a MM flirt with me and that cheap little thrill will not compare to what it is like to have someone available and able to give themselves to you fully hold you adoringly knowing he is not going home to a wife and a child at the end of the day. Also, knowing that if I cave to his flattery and attentions, I'm being disloyal to someone who did give themselves to me whole-heartedly and HONESTLY. Also, that he is cheapening my something 'real' and 'meaningful' by doing so and as a result not showing much respect for you as a person at all and also now that you ARE dating someone else, it suddenly feels like he would feel - with his attentions being divided between his wife and yourself. I have to search my intentions in this situation and make sure myself at times (even though the r'ship is in its early days) that I am not doing this to be vindictive towards the MM or hurt him back as he has hurt me by messing with my head or trying to get an ego boost up on him. But after all this I have to realise that his grip on me is lessening day by day and yes, I DO deserve more than the pathetic pining feeling he has subjected me to by administering to me his crumbs of attention. Sometimes having someone after you makes you realise well gee, perhaps I could try this and not feel like utter crap every day because you want something you can't and perhaps never will have. I hope this helps in some way. Just my humble opinions. It's probably a little different to your scenario but the feelings are still similar. Just remember how the male ego works and the competitive factor - he wants to win - never mind about the prize, as long as he has you hooked on him he has won.