Growlrifle Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 Hi, I've been in a relationship with someone for a few years now. We had our bad and good times but everybody has those. I have a few problems that anoy ppl. I can be hyperactive, I can be demanding and not always honest about my own feelings. I have a bit of a past that messed my social abilities up a bit. Anyhow about 2 weeks ago my boyfriend sudendly came alot less online. This happened after I found he had blocked me because he was scared of my reactions. I had send him an email and he mailed back that he would get online with MSN if I promised not to freak out. He came online and told me he had met someone but that person was a bit hurtfull and since I was quite jalous in the past he was a bit afraid how I might react to this friend. This friend hurt him a few times but he gradually spend less and less time online. I suffer from panick attacks sometimes and well after about 4 days of him not being online I had such an attack and tried anything to contact him. I said I was sorry afterwards but the deed was done by then. He mailed me then to tell me to relax and that he needed to think about how to work things out. After this we made an apointment to voicechat to eachother but he simply didnt show up. After that I only send an Ecard once and a while (to show him how much I apreciate him ) and ask how he is. However after another few days of the silence treatment I decided to stop that since he might want his distance and I need to respect that. 2 days ago he was online from work I said Hi and asked how he was. He said he was looking for a place of his own and slept alot lately. He said he had a stressfull time at work and some problems with family. I can respect that all and we again agreed to talk again that night but he didnt show up. It is now sunday, and during this weekend he couldnt find time to talk to me. I'm starting to get worried. I'm Keeping as much distance as I can I never mail him anymore or call because that would make me seem clingy. I'm also having trouble supressing these emotions of Jalousy and angst. I can cope till now but I don't like those Angst attacks. One day ago I decided no longer to wait by the comp for him since it was useless anyhow (After 4 days of near 24 hours a day waiting). I know I'm not perfect and all and that I have alot of faults but is there something I can do better like other ways to keep myself from bothering him when he needs his alone time or showing that I am there for him without seeming to clingy. Sorry if gay relationships aren't alowed here or frowned uppon. I just found it an interesting site over the weeks I lurked here until I got the guts to finaly post my problem myself. PS:We met about a month ago again and everything seemed dandy then. I told him why I am apearing so clingy at times because I'm scared ppl leave me once I finally trust them. But that was a month ago in a tender moment. I don't think it is related to this but you never know.
Author Growlrifle Posted September 7, 2006 Author Posted September 7, 2006 Hmm.. this monday he was online from work we talked and when he got home we voice chatted. Then after about 45 minuts he said he needed to go and would be back later. I havent seen him online since. Wierd. I just hope he is ok. I did find out his mother isn't being very nice to him and his stepdad is at it again. Can someone help me in how I should deal with this and help him with his problems?.
littlekitty Posted September 7, 2006 Posted September 7, 2006 Firstly, of course we don't mind that you're in a gay relationship! Can you give us a bit more info? Is this an LDR? How old are you both? How long have you been dating? How often do you see each other?
Author Growlrifle Posted September 7, 2006 Author Posted September 7, 2006 Yes it is LDR since a while again after the last time we met up in Juli/August. We are both 24 and we have been dating for 6 years now and are now planning to move in together since about a year (After my College was done and I got back from my Internship on a Aruba). We see eachother with every chance we get and we used to try keeping contact with the free time that we have. How ever lately he has been having some trouble and is hardly online. Last time was a bit wierd since he promised to come back and havent heard from him ever since. It is really unlike him to not hold his promises. But more important I'm seeking ways to help him with his trouble, not by creating an avalanche of mails ofcourse but by other means like talking. I had to refrain a few times of just getting in my car and driving to him. But I dont know if that is a good idea.
Author Growlrifle Posted September 8, 2006 Author Posted September 8, 2006 I need some help calming down? Anybody got tips? I have a form of Hyperactivity combined with panic attacks and in situations like these they can get the better of me. I really don't want to bother him with this, since he has his own problems, now but this constant ignoring is getting to me. Anything at all you can advice?
Author Growlrifle Posted September 10, 2006 Author Posted September 10, 2006 Hehe apearantly nobody got some real tips how to calm down a little heh I gues it is a bit personal I supose. Anyhow last time he contacted was Monday and now he is gone again. Last time was that 45 minut time where he sudenly said he had to go and didn't come back. I really want to help him but I don't want to seem clingy or overdo it. Yet I also don't want to make him feel all lonely and scared by himself. Any Ideas what to do cause I'm running out of them a bit.
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