Author miracgirl Posted September 3, 2006 Author Posted September 3, 2006 thanks guys... I will try the extra lube...right now he thinks it's just been a long time since i had sex..he has no idea that i've only had it once. is it believable that i had an active sex life, say, ten years ago and that I am so tight now ten years later if i was abstenant? Or should i tell him i only had sex once or twice in my life so he understands?
stoopid_guy Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 thanks guys... I will try the extra lube...right now he thinks it's just been a long time since i had sex..he has no idea that i've only had it once. is it believable that i had an active sex life, say, ten years ago and that I am so tight now ten years later if i was abstenant? Or should i tell him i only had sex once or twice in my life so he understands? Open and honest... Tell him the truth. Personally, I'd be flattered at how selective you were and I was one of the "lucky few."
Author miracgirl Posted September 3, 2006 Author Posted September 3, 2006 you wouldn't think i had negative views of sex and was "asexual"?
pricillia Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 There are some men then are virgins in thier twenties/thirties I know one who asked me to be his Teacher. I would not want to take on that. I agree with the guys that I would want someone experienced. But if in the event that I had chemistry with him after I got to know him then that would be a possibility. I would really have to think about it though. Everyone is different but I am glad that I experienced it at a young age because we were both inexperienced. We were both pretty young. 13 in fact and we stayed together almost all through college. But instinct does take over so one should not be afraid of it. Just use protection and be safe Sex is a natural thing so staying a virgin is a personal or just circumstance.. I guess.
norajane Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 you wouldn't think i had negative views of sex and was "asexual"? Not if you're initiating sex often.
pricillia Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 ideally most men want a woman who is expereinced but not too experienced. personallly, I don't have the time or patience to teach someone all that stuff. patience or passion??? that is the question.
robyr77 Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 I don't think that is very important how many times my partner had sex, but what I think is important is don't have Tabu' or restriction during the sex (as long as there is respect?....to let eachother be involved from the passion, the flame of the passion is more strong than any other thing.
pricillia Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 I don't think that is very important how many times my partner had sex, but what I think is important is don't have Tabu' or restriction during the sex (as long as there is respect?....to let eachother be involved from the passion, the flame of the passion is more strong than any other thing. yep I agree... passion.
stoopid_guy Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 you wouldn't think i had negative views of sex and was "asexual"? Not at all. Especially if you were friendly and liked to touch (hold hands, smooch, etc.)
DanielMadr Posted September 4, 2006 Posted September 4, 2006 question for the guys: I thought that men liked it when a woman was a virgin or had limited sexual experience..are there any of you out there that do not like this and prefer a woman who is more experienced and would not date an inexperienced woman? what if she had sex only twice in her life and she's in her thirties now? It is not a problem its actually a plus...shows self-respect (picky) BUT it can be sign of some emotionall problems but only a sign. Second problem might be, that you could make more drama in the event of break up. Be cool and it will be OKAY.
blind_otter Posted September 4, 2006 Posted September 4, 2006 IMO this is something to be as up front as possible with. be open, relaxed, and honest. Admit that you lack sexual experience but are very attracted and interested to the man in question. Don't rely on lies of omission and subterfuge to trick him into opening up to you when you have not done the same thing in kind.
Author miracgirl Posted September 4, 2006 Author Posted September 4, 2006 well, for those of you who are interested, here is what ended up happening; i decided to tell him i had sex only once and he was fine with that. I got the sense he preferred more experience, but whatever. But he was a total jerk. i did have some pain and he said he never heard of having this much pain and that i should just "suck it up". I tried to explain that the pain is just for the first couple of times, but he said no, he's never heard of it. We couldn't go through with the act because of the pain, so i was giving him oral, and then after 40 minutes or so he saw he wasn't coming so he rolls over and gets dressed. at this point i was fuming. I didn't want to be one of those "emotional virgins" he's probably afraid of but i couldn't help myself. i said "that is just so cold, how could you be so cold, i just had sex with you. he said, i'm sorry, i'm just so tired. he kissed me goodbye and left. Now, I had quite a few dates with this guy. i guess i had this coming because I knew he was somewhat of a jerk, but not this cold. i guess i'm the crazy virgin after all.
blind_otter Posted September 5, 2006 Posted September 5, 2006 well, for those of you who are interested, here is what ended up happening; i decided to tell him i had sex only once and he was fine with that. I got the sense he preferred more experience, but whatever. But he was a total jerk. i did have some pain and he said he never heard of having this much pain and that i should just "suck it up". I tried to explain that the pain is just for the first couple of times, but he said no, he's never heard of it. We couldn't go through with the act because of the pain, so i was giving him oral, and then after 40 minutes or so he saw he wasn't coming so he rolls over and gets dressed. at this point i was fuming. I didn't want to be one of those "emotional virgins" he's probably afraid of but i couldn't help myself. i said "that is just so cold, how could you be so cold, i just had sex with you. he said, i'm sorry, i'm just so tired. he kissed me goodbye and left. Now, I had quite a few dates with this guy. i guess i had this coming because I knew he was somewhat of a jerk, but not this cold. i guess i'm the crazy virgin after all. What a bummer. I had hoped he would be more respectful with you. I'm sorry to say that I think a lot of women have similar experiences when they first start having sexual relationships with men. I know that, of the men I've had sex with, the majority weren't especially kind to me, and a couple were particularly violent. The gems of the bunch were the ones I ended up having longterm relationships with. I hope you don't let this make you angry at men in general. There are some really good ones out there and it's a shame that a few bad apples spoil the bunch. I hear you!..... and I hope things do get better.
RecordProducer Posted September 5, 2006 Posted September 5, 2006 yes, he could tell i was inexperienced because of the pain and tightness. we didn't use a lubricant.. u think that will help? Absolutely. Just use it. Some women do and it's totally not a problem. If he asks you anything, just tell him that you're tight and like it more slippery. You can even tell him "Darlin', you're so big, I can't do it without a lube!" I have a feeling that the one experience you've had was not really pleasurable and wanted by you.
mental_traveller Posted September 5, 2006 Posted September 5, 2006 Personally I wouldn't find it a turn-off. I would however find it a turn off if she was repressed or excessively shy about sex. P.S. just read your follow-up. Well, what can I say? You choose an ******* and ignored the clear warning signs your intuition was giving. If I met a woman and she said she was inexperienced, in the way that you told this guy, then I'd think it was cool and would almost consider it my duty to make sure she got a thorough and detailed "education"
Marcus1963 Posted September 5, 2006 Posted September 5, 2006 hey i wouldnt mind a virgin.....at leats no std's
quietintrovertgirl Posted September 5, 2006 Posted September 5, 2006 I knew that man was an a**hole because the sign were there. Virgin women look out for jerks like this dude and try not to have sex with these bums.I would select your sex partner more wisely or invests in a dildo.
Author miracgirl Posted September 5, 2006 Author Posted September 5, 2006 yes, he was an ***hole. I can't believe he told me to "suck it up" when i was in pain. But i got a little revenge, hehe. when i was giving him oral, it was for a really long time so i guess I used my teeth a little bit (by accident, I swear) and he said Ouch, that hurt. I looked at him and said did i use my teeth or something? cause i didn't even realize. he said yeah. i said oh, well, suck it up. he said don't be a wiseass. i said well, i didn't do it on purpose, but now you understand what pain can feel like. it just made me so mad that he didn't understand that i could be in pain!!
Loserdude Posted September 9, 2006 Posted September 9, 2006 I think that it's interesting that you are going to connect with someone so intimately physically, yet you are unable to simply talk about the things that you post here. A little strange. If this person is going to be inside you physically, I think he should know what's inside emotionally. Talk to him first about some of this stuff.
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