miracgirl Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 question for the guys: I thought that men liked it when a woman was a virgin or had limited sexual experience..are there any of you out there that do not like this and prefer a woman who is more experienced and would not date an inexperienced woman? what if she had sex only twice in her life and she's in her thirties now?
TheSilentType Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 can't speak for anyone but myself....but i absolultely don't mind :love:
Green Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 A hot virgin could be fun, but maybe the turn off is they think you are not going to have sex with them, or that your not a sexual person and they want a partner who will have sex with them
superconductor Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 There's a world of difference between being an eager virgin, or one who has limited sexual experience, and one who has limited experience because s/he has some sort of psychological aversion to sex. So, in short, no it's not a turn-off at all as long as it's not because she thinks it's "just too icky."
Author miracgirl Posted September 3, 2006 Author Posted September 3, 2006 thanks for your replies.... can anyone think of any reason why a guy would find it a turnoff..if the girl IS eager to have sex and does not have issues about sex and the guy is attracted to her?
littlepiggy1 Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 To me, experience isn't the issue (I've done it with a virgin), but enthusiasm. If she just lies there like a sack of potatoes, then it's no fun. But if she's into it, then it's all good.
stoopid_guy Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 So, in short, no it's not a turn-off at all as long as it's not because she thinks it's "just too icky." Actually, anyone wh uses the phrase "just too icky" when discussing sex would be a major turn-off (virgin or not, any age.)
superconductor Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 Could be any number of things. Maybe he's intimidated, maybe he's the one with the aversion to sex, maybe he has an STD, maybe he's just one of those "take it slow" kind of guys (I never understood those fellows...), maybe he's extraordinarily shy... It's much more likely that it's an issue that he has with himself than with you.
lonelybird Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 If you aim at a long term relationship, then the man should be one who can love you as a person, not only sexually. anyway you can pratice sex more and more and learn later, right? nobody born as a sex god/godess. and no harm to dress a little bit sexy and be mysterious. maybe I shouldn't answer here, I am not a guy
Yoohoo Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 There's a world of difference between being an eager virgin, or one who has limited sexual experience, and one who has limited experience because s/he has some sort of psychological aversion to sex. So, in short, no it's not a turn-off at all as long as it's not because she thinks it's "just too icky." Exactly how I feel as well.
quietintrovertgirl Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 Miragirl, A virgin woman in her 30 should be glad that a man interested in her wouldn't take advantage of her sexually. This man is giving this woman major respect because most men would take seriuos advantage of this woman in a heart beat.
rainfall Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 I am not a guy so I can't speak for them, however I know my cousin and his best friend both refuse to date a virgin because they think if they take a girls virginity and the relationship doesn't work out that the girl will turn psycho on them. They also say that she would become way to clingy. Don't know how many other guys actually feel this way just speaking from what someone told me.
lonelybird Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 I am not a guy so I can't speak for them, however I know my cousin and his best friend both refuse to date a virgin because they think if they take a girls virginity and the relationship doesn't work out that the girl will turn psycho on them. They also say that she would become way to clingy. Don't know how many other guys actually feel this way just speaking from what someone told me. So how they know the girl they dating is a virgin or not? she flat out tell them the several first dates? if they date for a while, and know each other to the degree they want to become intimate and the girl said she is a virgin, and then they flee because of this? clingy people can come out of all shapes. a girl who have many sex encounter wouldn't be clingy??
Hitman10000 Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 If I feel passion for her then sure it'd be even cooler that she's a virgin where I can have my evil ways with her. But to be honest, it doesn't make a real difference, usually the girls that I go for are typically attractive so if she's fugly and a virgin, man I don't want any of that emotional attachment being her first.
Author miracgirl Posted September 3, 2006 Author Posted September 3, 2006 yes, i'm thinking it's the emotional attachment thing that could be the deterent; that if it doesn't work out, i will become crazy. My problem is that this guy i'm dating sensed my lack of experience and asked if i was a virgin. I told him no, I'm not, and it's true, i'm not, but i've only had sex once, but i did't tell him that. he said to me, are you sure you're not a virgin? because we attempted sex once and i guess he could tell. i said no, i'm not but it's just been a really long time. it just seemed like he didn't want me to be a virgin, although i can't be sure, i was afraid to ask what he thought of the idea. he's definitely not pleased at my lack of experience because it hurt me so much that we are going to have to take it slower and he's not that patient. so whether i'm a virgin or not, he knows it's going to be slow. sorry for the rambling..what do you think?
burning 4 revenge Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 In the old days in Latin American countries when a woman wanted to maintain her virginity, or didn't want to have children couples often turned to anal sex as an attractive alternative.
RecordProducer Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 question for the guys: I thought that men liked it when a woman was a virgin or had limited sexual experience..are there any of you out there that do not like this and prefer a woman who is more experienced and would not date an inexperienced woman? what if she had sex only twice in her life and she's in her thirties now?There is no a unique answer to your question. Men differ and so their views on inexperienced women. An extremely jealous or religious or insecure or traditional or narrow-minded or open-minded man might like it or tolerate it. It's your job to watch out for the men who actually call women sluts easily and are possessive in a sick way. You might run onto such a man who will be thrilled with your virginity until you lose the status after some experience and "turn into a slut." I don't think the men who want a more experienced woman are a danger for you. If he really likes you and falls in love with you, he won't mind much worse things than this (which is not even a bad thing; it's really neutral). My first husband had only one woman in bed before me (his ex-wife) and she died so I was the only woman he's and sex with in the whole world. My second husband, on the other hand has probably had like 200 women. Neither has ever bothered me. They're both faithful and with both I've enjoyed sex. After all, you can tell him that you've had sex with one person when you feel like telling him. You don't have to say "once." You are wise for not telling him and frankly, it's NONE of his business whether you've had one intercourse with one man or plenty with 101 men. If you want to widen up your vagina and prepare it for sex, you might use a dildo to get used to the movements, to learn to relax, and enjoy. I am sorry if I am giving you unsolicited advice and you have actually used a dildo all these years. I strongly recommend that you use a lubricant (which you can find in any grocery store or pharmacy). This will prevent pain, injury, and discomfort the next time you attempt to have sex. Make sure you use a condom and later on request from him to get tested for STD's. Also soon it will be time for you to start planning birth control methods (perhaps with your gynecologist) if you don't want to stay pregnant.
quietintrovertgirl Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 Why would you want to have sex with a man who's upset because you don't have that much sexual experience?My guard would be up with this dude so you're going to have sex with a man that you can't even talk sexually honest with.That say alot about your relationship and maybe you shouldn't have sex with this man until you can put all your sexual card on the table.
rainfall Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 So how they know the girl they dating is a virgin or not? she flat out tell them the several first dates? if they date for a while, and know each other to the degree they want to become intimate and the girl said she is a virgin, and then they flee because of this? clingy people can come out of all shapes. a girl who have many sex encounter wouldn't be clingy?? The are both pretty up front with asking the girl how many guys she has been with. Most of the time though they have told me you can tell from how a chick acts regarding sex whether or not she is a virgin. Personally I think there logic is kinda stupid, but it is there life and I am sure not going to be dating either one of them ever.
Vickx69 Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 thanks for your replies.... can anyone think of any reason why a guy would find it a turnoff..if the girl IS eager to have sex and does not have issues about sex and the guy is attracted to her? Well, I had that situation once, and I asked everybody I know if they would have sex with a virgin who is asking for it. My concern was that probably I wouldn't marry her and she would find it difficult to have a boyfriend who would accept her if she had lost her virginity. Well, maybe because where she is from the tradition is that you would marry the guy you had sex for the first time. Vick
Guest Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 I think most men would be turned ON by virginity. Like no one has been there before (or in your case only one). Maybe the concern here is the emotional attachment stuff. In which case, do you really want to be with him? If he's nervous about taking your virginity, it's probably because he does not foresee a longterm relationship with you and does not want you to get too attached. That's what this situation sounds like to me...I mean if you don't want anything longterm with him either, then it's fine. But if you really like him...it's going to hurt you more if you get more physical and things don't work out.
Author miracgirl Posted September 3, 2006 Author Posted September 3, 2006 There is no a unique answer to your question. Men differ and so their views on inexperienced women. An extremely jealous or religious or insecure or traditional or narrow-minded or open-minded man might like it or tolerate it. It's your job to watch out for the men who actually call women sluts easily and are possessive in a sick way. You might run onto such a man who will be thrilled with your virginity until you lose the status after some experience and "turn into a slut." I don't think the men who want a more experienced woman are a danger for you. If he really likes you and falls in love with you, he won't mind much worse things than this (which is not even a bad thing; it's really neutral). My first husband had only one woman in bed before me (his ex-wife) and she died so I was the only woman he's and sex with in the whole world. My second husband, on the other hand has probably had like 200 women. Neither has ever bothered me. They're both faithful and with both I've enjoyed sex. After all, you can tell him that you've had sex with one person when you feel like telling him. You don't have to say "once." You are wise for not telling him and frankly, it's NONE of his business whether you've had one intercourse with one man or plenty with 101 men. If you want to widen up your vagina and prepare it for sex, you might use a dildo to get used to the movements, to learn to relax, and enjoy. I am sorry if I am giving you unsolicited advice and you have actually used a dildo all these years. I strongly recommend that you use a lubricant (which you can find in any grocery store or pharmacy). This will prevent pain, injury, and discomfort the next time you attempt to have sex. Make sure you use a condom and later on request from him to get tested for STD's. Also soon it will be time for you to start planning birth control methods (perhaps with your gynecologist) if you don't want to stay pregnant. yes, he could tell i was inexperienced because of the pain and tightness. we didn't use a lubricant.. u think that will help?
norajane Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 yes, he could tell i was inexperienced because of the pain and tightness. we didn't use a lubricant.. u think that will help? Lube always helps, especially when you're using a condom! If he gives you oral before penetration, that also helps makes you wetter. If he gives you an orgasm through oral or with his with his hand, that also helps because then you're relaxed as well as wet.
alphamale Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 ideally most men want a woman who is expereinced but not too experienced. personallly, I don't have the time or patience to teach someone all that stuff.
bab Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 I am not a guy so I can't speak for them, however I know my cousin and his best friend both refuse to date a virgin because they think if they take a girls virginity and the relationship doesn't work out that the girl will turn psycho on them. They also say that she would become way to clingy. Don't know how many other guys actually feel this way just speaking from what someone told me. I'm suprised this took so long to come up. I'd think that with a lot of guys this would be a huge factor. In the case of the OP, it only sounds like he wants the sex to work, it's not, and he's confused as to why. Get the extra lube, and things will work better.
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