Altaira Posted September 2, 2006 Posted September 2, 2006 What does it mean if a female friend of mine thinks my boyfriend is "TAKING ADVANTAGE" of me???? I feel insulted.' Does it mean a) my friend thinks my bf doesn't care about me the way I care about him? or b) he cares about me but is domineering? This female friend has not dated in a while, has a generally negative view of men (because she and her sister were sexually assaulted as children) has seen a photo of my bf and thinks he's "hot" has a one-note attitude towards me bf of negativity even though she's never met or talking to him, At one point she wanted us to park at his house to monitor him (a crazy suggestion, and she said this some time after she talked of another friend doing, so if she looks down on her friend for doing this why would she suggest this to me?) I never told my bf about this crazy suggestion of hers because I didn't want to scare him off. And of course, I rejected the idea. Also, she asked twice for his full name and address, saying it was just in case something happened to me. This was before I knew the guy too well, but now I've known him for more than a year. How should I see this friend? (who I'm now distant with at work for other reasons, like I think she reveals things I confide in her to other coworkers, people she's friendly with).
alphamale Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 How should I see this friend? ...as an ex-friend.
quietintrovertgirl Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 Wow your female friend is very bold and maybe after your man.
RecordProducer Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 I remember your post from before. Stop talking to her about your boyfriend. And if she spreads the information you give her to other people then stop talking to her, period. Who cares what she thinks? BTW "taking advantage" means using so she probably meant that your guy is using you for sex or fun or money or whatever...
penkitten Posted September 4, 2006 Posted September 4, 2006 your friend wants to stalk your new bf because shes crazy.
Author Altaira Posted September 4, 2006 Author Posted September 4, 2006 Thanks so much to everyone for your input. And thanks again, RecordProducer. A mutual friend of ours defended this woman to me saying that "taking advantage" could still include caring about someone (unintentionally taking advantage of someone because of their domineering ways. Do you disagree with this? My gut instinct tells me something's not right with this woman's comments but I couldn't pinpoint or verbalize what was wrong. Can anyone tell me: specifically what is wrong with her comments? Because my brother who has trouble getting the gist of things often with me, says that just because my friend wanted to spy on my bf is not proof alone that she is jealous or that she wants him. Because he thinks it's just proof that she wants to spy on him possibly to prove to me that he's no good, which doesn't mean she'jealous or wants him necessarily. Can anyone VERBALIZE a rebuttal to my brother's position? He annoys me the way he often invalidates my feelings.
Marcus1963 Posted September 5, 2006 Posted September 5, 2006 A mutual friend of ours defended this woman to me saying that "taking advantage" could still include caring about someone (unintentionally taking advantage of someone because of their domineering ways. Do you disagree with this? Taking advantage of someone is usually used with a bad connotation but if you feel that he is being good to you, who cares what SHE thinks? she is making you question his love for you. Is that good and helpful or bad and destructive for your relationship? how exactly is he taking advantage of you according to her? Money? Sex? Help?
Author Altaira Posted September 6, 2006 Author Posted September 6, 2006 Taking advantage of someone is usually used with a bad connotation but if you feel that he is being good to you, who cares what SHE thinks? she is making you question his love for you. Is that good and helpful or bad and destructive for your relationship? how exactly is he taking advantage of you according to her? Money? Sex? Help? Exactly! Thank you! She was making me question his love for me (which he dislikes when I do doubt) even when things are good and I'm happy about the relationship. She would pick up on little things and cast a negative meaning on it. I guess she thinks he's a player and is using me for sex (because he really does focus a lot on but he told me when he was pursuing me before we were an item that he was a very sexual person and did I have issues with that. He is capable of being very romantic and adoring as well (more so in the beg. of relationship during thne chase but I hear guys relax more after they've gottent he woman. Marcus, WHAT CAN I TELL MY BROTHER specifically about this woman's comments (about wanting to monitor him and also asking for his address and full name) that will convince him that she is up to no good?????
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