whichwayisup Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t40398/ Another thing, keep all this away from your kids. They don't need to know anything, so try your best to shelter them as to what their mom has been doing.
whichwayisup Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 Yep, I should talk to the wife. Of course thoughts run into my mind like what if she knows already ? or what if she doesn't care ? What if the news destroys her family? Ouch and yes, it will hurt, but seeing as it's happening to you, I'm sure if the situation were reversed, and the wife knew, wouldn't you prefer to find out through her and not through someone else? I mean, the other option is, TELL the MM that you are about to call his wife.....That way he could have the chance to tell her what he's done. Somehow, I don't want to be the bearer of bad news to their family. But- you are all right. 'Gosh, this is more difficult han I thought. I know. You don't want to hurt her or her family, but HE is the one who's hurt them. Him and your wife. Just like he's a willing partner in crime to hurt you and your family. Get some one on one therapy for yourself to help you cope. And read Dazed's thread, it's long, maybe print it out...But, there is ALOT of useful info in there that will help you through the process.
BenThereDunThat Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 I agree with posts from WWIU. And who cares about the business aspect being affected? Your marriage is way more important! I dont know where you live, but aren't there other ad agencies she could go to? With her being such high-level, high-profile, I'm sure she wouldn't have a hard time finding another job.
Ladyjane14 Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 Why tip your hand before you bust her? Your better bet is to sit back, calm, cool, collected... and gather your evidence. Cheaters will lie until you rub the truth on their noses. Even then, you may get part of the truth, but you doubtless won't get it all. There's no point in trying to solve a problem when you can't define it's parameters. So, find out what's going on before you confront. Otherwise, you'll drive the affair deeper underground and you'll be hard-pressed to get the facts you need. Your alternative of course is to go ahead and lawyer up. You don't necessarily have to prove adultery on her. You can still get a divorce. Depending on what state you live in, having grounds might not make much of a difference at settlement anyway. Personally, if it were me... I'd put a PI on her, then once I had the evidence, I'd sue for divorce on grounds of adultery. It may sound a bit vindictive, but if I had to go to all the fuss and bother of divorcing someone for cheating... I don't really mind if there's a file on record at the courthouse that says so.
Ladyjane14 Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 I agree with the others about informing the OM's wife. Still, I'd wait until I had evidence in hand. The OM is going to attempt to lie his ass off when he's busted. But.... if you have the goods, he can squirm like a worm for all you care. He'll still be busted.
RecordProducer Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 'Gosh, this is more difficult han I thought. When you're on Loveshack, everything is more difficult than you thought. That doesn't mean it really is. How you feel is how things stand in your life. You don't have to tell the wife if you don't feel like. But if you want to tell her anything, stick to the facts or your credibility will be discarded. I bet she has no clue about them sharing a room. Also she might have a whole love life on aside and not really care about her husband's affairs. You first need to know what's going on in order to make a decision about the future. Maybe you will decide to let it go. Maybe you're just looking for an excuse to have an affair yourself. Maybe you ARE having an affair or had had it in the past. Maybe you're being paranoid. Maybe you're merely looking for an excuse for a divorce. And maybe you're a good, faithful husband in a desperate situation. Just being hypothetical about various options; my point is - we can't tell you to get divorce or what to do at all, for that matter. Here, we can only tell you that your wife does sound very suspicious, but how to catch her we can't tell you. It's things you do in the fly and by intuition.
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