Lostgurl Posted September 1, 2006 Posted September 1, 2006 Hi everyone, This might be pretty long so i'll understand if you don't want to read and post back. I guess this is just a vent session anyway. Pretty depressed today actually. I have been divorced for over two years now. The break up was super ugly. My ex and his mom went so far as to call social services and cry child abuse (on my friend at the time and also my nehew) to make my life a living hell. They did this twice and the second time they threatened to take my kids away and then called them again. So my girls would have to go through the motions of doc. examination, Police interview etc. The Pol. and doc. and social workers all knew that nothing happened cuz i explained what they were up to, the threats etc. They said they had to follow protocol anyway. Ex and mom knew the system, and thats why they kept doing this to me. Any way that was years ago. Yesterday i got served with legal aid papers stating that they were going for custody. I haven't let "gradma" see the girls in over a month b/c she let my ex see them. I know that sounds pretty weird. But my ex was diagnosed with paranoid dementia disorder and is an alcoholic. He would come around my girls when his mother had them in the past and would upset them badly. So his mother and i agreed that he shouldn't see them. THen last month she took them to a camp site while she was on vacation, and when my girls came home after a few days, they told me that they seen thier "other" dad. So me and my honey were naturally very upset. I called her, and asked her why she let "Ex" see them. She said he was all better! I lost my temper and we got into a yelling match. Her last words were "I know you are going through problems of your own" I hung up on her and she called back twice, My honey answered and he told me that she said "You tell her that i'm going to tell social services that the girls are living with domestic abuse and a pitbull"!! (a couple weeks earlier i tripped over our "pit bull" and gave myself a black eye, and this "pitbull" was only two monthes old and loveable". Natually she was trying to twist the truth and use it against me. He never abused me and the pitbull boxer cross is a puppy, isn't she pathetic? My ex mother in law made me soo mad when she said "ex" was ok. He is so unstable. In December, when my honey and i decided to move intogether, i moved out of the home that is under mortgage with my ex (ex refused to take his name off the mortgage) b/c we didn't want to live there, too many ghosts and bad memories. since his name was still on it i couldn't rent it out (he would evict them as soon as he found out and move in) So i said he could have it as long as he signed the papers to get my name of it. Well he wouldn't sign the papers and he never paid the mortgage and it is now in foreclosure. Uggh he couldn't even pay the power bill and he had room mates! He's he is soo far from being Fine! Anyway that was why i stopped letting her see the girls. Now she is pushing him to get custody so SHE can see them. It sure isn't him wanting this, he doesn't even call them on thier b.days, or buy them presents. He hasn't paid child support in two years. I was very upset about this lastnight and let my anger go. I was playing Burn out revenge on PS2 and having a beer lastnight. My honey was watching UFC on the dish and then he challenged me to a game of Pool for 5 bucks. I lost and said double or Nothing, Then i won and got nothing. So i said (i thought??) I challenge you to another game for 5 bucks. He agreed, i won and he said that i bet him "something" not 5 bucks, by this time i was pretty buzzed and got irritated and said "Yeah you are trying to get out of paying me. If i was anyone else then you'd pay me or if there was one other person here you would'nt try to lie about what we bet on" and i went back in the bedroom & continued to play Burnout and drown my sorrows in alcohol. I know i was a B*tch for saying that, it was harsh. I feel so bad because i took my anger out on him when the whole night he was trying to cheer me up. He slept on the couch and this morning all i could say, "it was a stupid thing to get mad about" and hugged him, i was still half asleep, i know i could have made a better apology if i was fully concious. He walked to work so i know that he is still mad at me. It was all my fault. Our relationship has been doing soo good lately and i screwed it up b/c i was mad at someone else! I hate my temper, especially once mixed with alcohol. Damn! Anyway if you managed to make it through this long and mangled post, thanks for taking the time to read.
Lor Posted September 1, 2006 Posted September 1, 2006 Hi lostgurl. Nope, read longer posts. Your new honey has a right to have his feelings hurt for what you said. But! and this is a big but, you did apologize. If you don't think you did it enough, then do it again, and explain your feelings of hurt, confusion and anger to him. Let him know you know what he was trying to do and that you are so sorry for saying that to him and acting the way you did. If he's any kind of man, he will hear you. Okay, do you have a problem with your xMIL seeing the kids? If not, talk to her and maybe see if she would be willing to do visitation at your house or some such stuff. That way you know he's not in the picture.
Author Lostgurl Posted September 1, 2006 Author Posted September 1, 2006 Hi Lor Yes i actually have a huge problem w/her seeing the kids. For one thing, She went behind my back and let him see them after we agreed that it isn't healthy for the girls their "other" dad. She never discussed it with me. She made the decision her self. Her son is screwed. He has tried to kill himself , has threatened to do it countless times to get my attention, hes' delusional, towards the end he was ranting about conspiracies that me and his mother were concocting to make him crazy for godsakes. AND this ex mother in law of mine is get this.... A social worker! She is the one that made him the way he is now. She is just as twisted as he is. She is the Fricken puppet master! When she gave birth to him, she had him in the toilet. I think that she was planning on flushing him. Its the truth. She said she felt like she needed to use the bathroom. How stupid could one person be? I'm terribly sorry ,, im just in a rage about these two people. Yes, i plan on having a talk with my honey. Apologize further. I a hoping it will go well. He's not so mad that he was giving me the silent treatment. At least he said "see ya later after work" when he left. Thats saying something.
Lor Posted September 1, 2006 Posted September 1, 2006 okay, so it sounds like MIL is a nutjob, too. Best bet is to get them both to stay away from the kids. do you have any of this documented to take to a judge? I know restraining orders only go so far but.... good luck.
Guest Posted September 1, 2006 Posted September 1, 2006 okay, so it sounds like MIL is a nutjob, too. Best bet is to get them both to stay away from the kids. do you have any of this documented to take to a judge? I know restraining orders only go so far but.... good luck. I have documented some incidents of when she was harassing me after we split up. But my honey says they won't hold up cuz its my word against theirs. So i really don't know what to say. Another weird thing that happened is my honey told me that he run into this woman that we both know "i don't really like her cuz my honey told me that she wanted to sleep with him last summer" and he said that she met up with my mother in law in the bar and the MIL appraoched her and said " that my old "friend" sexually abused the girls way back after we separated and this guy that i'm with right now isn't good for me either, i was wondering if you could help me out" I don't know what she meant by "help me out" , that was all my honey would tell me. Weird eh? I think she's trying to set something up, as usual.
Author Lostgurl Posted September 1, 2006 Author Posted September 1, 2006 okay, so it sounds like MIL is a nutjob, too. Best bet is to get them both to stay away from the kids. do you have any of this documented to take to a judge? I know restraining orders only go so far but.... good luck. I have documented some incidents of when she was harassing me after we split up. But my honey says they won't hold up cuz its my word against theirs. So i really don't know what to say. Another weird thing that happened is my honey told me that he run into this woman that we both know "i don't really like her cuz my honey told me that she wanted to sleep with him last summer" and he said that she met up with my mother in law in the bar and the MIL appraoched her and said " that my old "friend" sexually abused the girls way back after we separated and this guy that i'm with right now isn't good for me either, i was wondering if you could help me out" I don't know what she meant by "help me out" , that was all my honey would tell me. Weird eh? I think she's trying to set something up, as usual.
Carla's Kids Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 Take It From Me, I Am A Women Who Is 32 Has A Nursing Degree, Has Love For Not Only Her Own Kids, But Others As Well. I Lost My Daughter To A Man Convicted 3 Times For Drunk Driving, Convicted Of Domestic Abuse, Has Not Worked In 2 Years, No Health Insurance, Lives Off Of $1000 A Month And Totally Admitted To The Courts Of Following Me, Stalking Me, And Mentally Abusing Our Daughter. And He Got Custody. If I Were You Watch Your P's And Q's Dont Mention The Drinking. Im Not Sure Where I Went Wrong But I Will Get Her Back If It Kills Me. If You Want To Stay Intouch Go To Carlaskids On Blooger.com I Am Journaling Everything. I Cant Believe This Has Happened To Me. And It Sounds Like You Charish Your Kids.....so Please Listen. Go To Blogger.com Enter Mom Who Lost Custody And Read All Our Storieis. Im Not The Only One. Your Friend Carla
Author Lostgurl Posted September 5, 2006 Author Posted September 5, 2006 Thanks alot for your words carla I am terribly sorry that you had to, and are going through this. It is a bad situation, and it sounds like you were placed in the wroning court room with the wrong judge at the worst possible time. But don't you worry.. She will come back to you in the end. The good ones may get stepped on, but they always win in the end;) . That is what i believe whole heartedly anyway. It is good that you put alittle fear back into me. Because i shouldn't get too cocky yet. MIL called me twice on Friday. I never answered the phone and she left a message. Her voice was calm and she was trying to sound sweet. (UGGGGHH!) she asked if she could have the girls for a couple of hours on Saturday. So this tells me that either: a) She figured that i haven't got the letter to respond from Legal Aid yet, or b) She figures that her and her son, don't ahve a leg to stand on in the custody hearing. or c) She was planning on taking them and not giving them back until after the custody hearing. God she must take me for such a fool to think that i'd actually give them to her.
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