He loves me, does not want to lose me for ever but he wants a break!

[Olena]

Hi all,

 

I am new member and I decided to join this blog for some advice. I am 26 years old and I have been going out with my partner for 6 years.

 

I met my partner when he was on the rebound from his previous relationship. Our relationship has been quite difficult in some respects as his last girfriend hurt him a lot.

My partner and I ended up living together for the last 4 years and I must admit that he has always respected me and cared for him. He has never given me any reason to doupt that he is 100% loyal to me. In the beginning of our relationship I helped him pick up the pieces, finish his two univeristy degrees and find a decent job.

The whole process had been difficult as there were too many things that he had to catch up with.

In a way he felt that when his ex dumped him he let him self go and that now he needed to catch up with his life.

 

Our sex life has been quite poor, especially in the last 3 years. The reason is that 3 years ago I have become pregnant and we could not keep the baby.I was very hurt at the time and in a way it kind of kept us off sex. My partner explained to me that he loves me and that he wants me sexually, but that he has too many things on his mind. All of his friends have moved back home and he feels that I am the only person left in his life. He has just turned 30 and he is beginning to question what he is doing with his life. He wants to set up his own business, earn more money and eventually move back home to feel happier with his life. In view of all of these concerns he explained that sex is the last thing on his mind at the moment.

 

Lately he asked me for a 'break'. He explained to me that there are a few issues that he needs to sort out on his own. He said that he understands that the fact that at this stage in his life I can not be his number 1 priority upsets me. He says that he loves me and that he does not want to lose me for ever and that he needs his time to find him self. He said to me that he feels that for now he has to focus on him self but that he would like to be able to come back to me and he would want to marry me in the long run since he knows that there is too much love between us.

During our break he would like us to be in touch and he said that he would hate me getting into another relationship as he is afraid that I might just forget about him.

 

My interpretation of the above is that he is probably fed up of the relationship and he wants something new and more exciting. I explained to him how I feel and he said that he has never given me reason to doupt what he says.

 

I am very confused as I don't know what to think. He says that a 6 year relationship needs to come to solution -either get married or break up. He explained to me that at the moment as he is not happy with everything in his life the relationship can not develop any further. At the same time he does not want to call of the relationship and that in a way he wants to have me on 'stand by' until he sorts out his head with everything....

 

Any ideas on what this guy is going on about? Any input would be appreciated.

 

Olena