loveinlife Posted September 1, 2006 Posted September 1, 2006 I've been single for a year. It seems like a long time. I still have pictures of my ex in my head, she just comes up sometimes with a big happy smile on her face. I just miss her a lot. Although I know I won't be with her anymore, I can't wait to find someone who is special in my life. I haven't been dating or reaching out! Maybe thats my problem. Is this woman I used to love will be the only person I will ever love? I know this is very pessimistic thinking, as I am only 25. I feel I am ready to feel love again but there is no one out there. =( I guess I am a little sad right now...
KittenMoon Posted September 1, 2006 Posted September 1, 2006 I think it's good you're at the point where you want to love again. See the positive in hitting that pivotal point.
Touche Posted September 1, 2006 Posted September 1, 2006 Yes, the fact that you're even OPEN to it is the beginning. Be patient. Live life and you will find your one when you least expect it. You're still young. Don't try to rush it.
the_alchemyst Posted September 1, 2006 Posted September 1, 2006 I think they both said it right. I honestly think that no one person will only love one person (a SO) in their lifetime. Many people, especially younger people whom have just undergone a loss with a SO, will have the tendency to say that, "I don't think I will ever love anyone again." Case in point, I am guilty of thinking and saying that. Some days, I still do. But you know--deep down, I know that if it isn't/wasn't meant to be with my exbf, then what can I do? Sure I can beg, plead, implore, supplicate, and beseech all I want and can, but in the end, it really won't make a difference because it is not within me to make his decision. Know what I mean? It's useless. Yet a lot of people are fixated on the idea that "you will never love again." This is simply just not true! Of course you will, and of course someone will love you, just as much or even way more, too. I think a more accurate thing to say would be, "I will never love anyone like I loved him/her." This is not to say that you loved them oh-so-much that you'll never love anyone just as much, but that you'll simply not love in the same way. And you won't. I'm sure it's different in and with each relationship. You are just 25? Oh my! Why are you even worrying about it? You are so young! I am sure that you will meet someone whom you will, and someone whom will reciprocate those exact same feelings. It might be tonight, tomorrow, a week from today, a month from today . . . or a year from today. Maybe even more. The thing is that you don't know when it will happen, but you can rest assure that it will happen. I think that is comfort in itself. PS: Thank you for the PM the other day. I was very thoughtful of you. I tried to reply, but it says you don't accept PMs, so . . .
Author loveinlife Posted September 1, 2006 Author Posted September 1, 2006 You guys/girls are so awesome. KittenMoon and Touche, that is exactly how I feel. I am slowly getting out of the very hurtful feelings I used to get after being dumped by my SO. Is this what they mean by time heals all things? This is all new to me, love, heartbreak, and the healing process. I know that I feel a lot better, more confident, and happier. I may still think about my SO at times, but its not the same anymore, I am losing that feeling of the want and need with being thankful to my ex for the experience I felt. No Problem The_Alchemyst, I remember it was really tough for me to go through my birthday after my breakup. It stings and continues until its over. Thanks for your comment for keeping me thinking positive. I agree with you, we may never know when the next ONE will come. thanks everyone!
In Sync Posted September 1, 2006 Posted September 1, 2006 Love already came...it's inside you. You have so much love within you but you are convinced that Love has to come from outside that someone has to Give it to you back. And again by believing that you become at the mercy of any new person or love...If we come to realize that we are happy and filled with love from the inside out You will automatcially attract more love into your life. If you are convinced yu are lacking and that love is out there and you are waiting well that's an image that will inevitably make you feel sad..because the feeling of lacking does that!
quankanne Posted September 1, 2006 Posted September 1, 2006 it'll sneak up on you when you least expect it. The trick is to stay busy and keep meeting people so that you broaden your horizons, so to speak. Some of those gals might not be date material, but if you end up with good friends, you're ahead of the game. don't despair. As someone pointed out, the main thing is that you've opened yourself to the possibliity of love, which sometimes can be hard when you've been hurt by it before.
Moai Posted September 1, 2006 Posted September 1, 2006 Not only will it sneak up on you when you least expect it, it'll hit you like a freight train! All you have to do is relax, be yourself, and go with the flow. I know, easier said than done, but that's the key.
Author loveinlife Posted September 2, 2006 Author Posted September 2, 2006 Another time I realized that I have always been by myself was last night when I felt really drunk, there was no one there to take care of me. My friend's car was broken into, my other friend got her purse stolen and I lost my cell-phone due to this robbery. It was terrible night and I was feeling sick the whole way home from a bar bc the cold wind was blowing on my face at 2 in the morning while I was drunk. Life is unexpected. I learned I needed to take things one day at a time instead of rushing and thinking about the future. Who knows what the possibility is? Like what happened to my friends and I last night. For some reason, I would always try to predict the future, is it because it brings me a false since of security about what will happen? Dunno, maybe again i am thinking and questioning about this world too much as I always do. Thanks all for advice!
Brittanyjean06 Posted September 2, 2006 Posted September 2, 2006 Loveinlife, I know exactly how you feel and honestly I am dwelling on thinking " I will not love again" I am fixated on that most defiently. In fact I was talking to my bestfriend last night about how shocked I was about how she found love again, two years later...all she ever said was " I'll neverlove again " and she did, doesn't even think of her first love any more. I think you are worried you will always be hurting over this, and honestly the best thing for you right now is go out work on yourself be the guy you loved when you didn't have an ex..Yes it is right what that person said, the love comes within us...You know how good it feels to have my life back? to love friends to meet new people and have a bond with them, it feels fantastic to know I have my independance.. Though I am still iffy on the fact of not having someone. Its been a year for me too!!! I am still dwelling on that crazy guy...when I should be disgusted with things he did. You have nothing else to miss right now, and either to I. So we look to the ex and we see ourselves still with them. Were so young honestly I would love to love again..and can't wait for it to happen but loveinlife, it won't happen this soon it could take 3 years or even two just remember in the back of your head it will happen and it will be better! Everyone thinks they're supposed to have someone in their life when they don't see they already have all the love they got from parents and friends...You will loose who you are if you look for a relationship all the time
Author loveinlife Posted September 2, 2006 Author Posted September 2, 2006 BrittanyJean06, you definitely sound like you are doing better. Yeah, I shoudn't worry so much about finding a new love. However, I know when it comes I'll be happy. With or without, I will be happy to be myself and enjoying this journey I am living in. Today, my perception of love and heartache, although the second one sucks, it was good memories and experience. I bet your friend is glad that she found someone new to her life. =) I'll keep up the positive attitude. Anyone have AIM and wants to chat. My screen-name is civicboi108. TTYL
Brittanyjean06 Posted September 2, 2006 Posted September 2, 2006 I woulden't look at my relationship as a real relationship, but as a joke. Considering he was a sociopath, and yes guys he really was....I was just a joke to that relationship, and just laying in bed having everything come together makes me sick. Its a freaky feeling when you realize what you had was never real and only pretend....anyone who has dealt with a sociopath would truely know..
Author loveinlife Posted September 2, 2006 Author Posted September 2, 2006 Im sorry for that BrittanyJean06. I don't really know any sociopaths but from what it sounds like, it must of been hard for you. How is everyone doing today?? ps: BrittanyJean06, I think you look you look very beautiful...
Brittanyjean06 Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 awww thanks! I am doing fine wish I could get out more and be in the whole social scene.. But everything is allright:) thank you thank you! How about you?
Author loveinlife Posted September 3, 2006 Author Posted September 3, 2006 Im doing fine, thanks for asking. I've been going out a lot on the weekends, mainly to clubs and bars. Hope you have some spare time to relax and enjoy whats out there. I'm trying not to go out ask much as I should be...Lol Take Care Missy! No plans for you tonight?
Brittanyjean06 Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 Nope but I will have plans tommrow night, I went to a club last night called the office. Clubs aren't really me honestly, I coulden't stand guys coming behind me and groping me haha I kept running off it was funny. I rather go to a place where they played good music I liked than a club honestly, it can be fun though! haha you are trying to stay in and I am trying to get out there. I don't mind staying home at all, I love staying home but there are times when I am in the mood to go out and have some fun. Now and days everybody is all in too drinking, I like drinking but whatever happend to those days back in middle school when you had so much more fun doing other things..haha :-)
Author loveinlife Posted September 3, 2006 Author Posted September 3, 2006 Haha, I agree with you. I wish I could spend those quality times too myself. I am really trying to stay out of this scene. I drink but only to get buzzed. Well last night was a different story...lol. Wow I can't believe people treat you like that at the clubs. That is not fair to treat a lady. Yeah today, I asked my friend to go shoot some hoops...just like what I used to do back in the middle school days. He declined bc it turned out that it was too hot...hehe Have fun tomorrow night! ;D Ttyl
Author loveinlife Posted September 13, 2006 Author Posted September 13, 2006 I guess I am still single. Even with work and everything that is going on, I still haven't found someone. I don't believe I will find a decent girl anytime soon. :lmao:
TheSilentType Posted September 13, 2006 Posted September 13, 2006 I guess I am still single. Even with work and everything that is going on, I still haven't found someone. I don't believe I will find a decent girl anytime soon. :lmao: I feel your pain. Sometimes I too wonder when that girl will enter my life. Hopefully I can make the most of this next year and find someone nice. But first I need to get this 600 lb gorilla off my back so that I can relax again......sigh
Author loveinlife Posted September 13, 2006 Author Posted September 13, 2006 A girl did come along this year, but she wasn't my type. I guess I was looking for someone who loves to go out and party as much as her. Since I passed her up, she recently went back with her ex, which was good and I am happy for her. She is still my friend. Yeah I feel you TheSilentType. Holidays are coming and I am single, doesn't seem anything real is going to happen any time soon. Yep its painful that's for sure.
Teacher's Pet Posted September 13, 2006 Posted September 13, 2006 I've been single for a year. It seems like a long time. I still have pictures of my ex in my head, she just comes up sometimes with a big happy smile on her face. I just miss her a lot. Although I know I won't be with her anymore, I can't wait to find someone who is special in my life. I haven't been dating or reaching out! Maybe thats my problem. Is this woman I used to love will be the only person I will ever love? I know this is very pessimistic thinking, as I am only 25. I feel I am ready to feel love again but there is no one out there. =( I guess I am a little sad right now... That's it. Some men are gonna do some drinkin'! Dude, catch the next flight to Newark/Liberty, we're gonna hunt chicks...Jersey style! I know a place where the chicks will turn that frown upside down.... ....well, not really, they'll just be looking at that frown while THEY are upside down...... And this ONE chick....she has the most amazing... .....uh...hi girls. *sheepish grin* I'm sure you'll meet a lovely young lady soon enough. Just put yourself out there. Remember...the best way to get over someone, is to get ON someone else! Listen to your Big Poppa. -tp
the_alchemyst Posted September 13, 2006 Posted September 13, 2006 Remember...the best way to get over someone, is to get ON someone else! -tp Really? Hmm. I think I have to disagree.
Author loveinlife Posted September 13, 2006 Author Posted September 13, 2006 Really? Hmm. I think I have to disagree. I agree with you the alchemyst. Ussually those are called rebound relationships. It might cause heartache to you or the other partner. When a person truely accepts the facts that they are over the ex's can they have another enjoyable and healthy relationship with others. I chose to past on the last girl bc I know in my heart I still love my So. Good luck to everyone!
BatteredByLove Posted September 13, 2006 Posted September 13, 2006 I agree with you the alchemyst. Ussually those are called rebound relationships. It might cause heartache to you or the other partner. When a person truely accepts the facts that they are over the ex's can they have another enjoyable and healthy relationship with others. I chose to past on the last girl bc I know in my heart I still love my So. Good luck to everyone! I'm in the same boat as you loveinlife, although I WANT to go out and hook up with another girl, I know that I still love my SO and it would be unfair to the girl that I would end up with anyway; I'm not giving her my all. Rebound relationships only hurt people, I think my ex is in one... I'm not sure but, just wondering, overzealous devoted christian guy and a hindu girl? I know religion is a big part for devoted christians.... or it's just my head thinking? lol. Sorry to drift away, but the rebound relationship had me going lol. Anyway, loveinlife, you'll get over your ex sooner or later, the sooner we wake up and realize that there are MILLIONS of other girls out there, the sooner we can start living our life to the fullest again . -BBL
Brittanyjean06 Posted September 14, 2006 Posted September 14, 2006 Batterdby love, I'm glad you don't feel like a rebound would quicken up the process of healing. I would find it uncomfortable and strange to be with someone I didn't love or truely like. I think after a break up you are just sooo quick to make a fix that you'll jump in anything at anytime. The best way to heal is with your self and meeting new friends. This breakup happend for a reason, and the reason was for you to discover your self...BY YOUR SELF. I keep reading these posts especially the one that was like " Not only will it hit you unexpectly, it will hit you hard blahahlaah ". I'm holding on to that and can't wait for a new love to appear. But I have a feeling it won't be anytime soon. I still have some working on my self to do for another to just paddle in my life... and loveinlife, WERE in the same BOAT. Be patient , you were so used to feeling in love that without it you are lost like me. Stay strong:)
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