Brittanyjean06 Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 True love should be where you can open up and talk about anything right? Well In my last relationship for 2 1/ years I never was totally myself...Isn't that just lust? True love should be with a man who feels like your best friend...Mine never ever felt like that...?
Author Brittanyjean06 Posted August 31, 2006 Author Posted August 31, 2006 Goin once going twice!!! sold toooooooooooooooooooooooo? haha
Diver012 Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 I dunno.... Love is love. If you felt like you couldn't talk to him about everything, I wouldn't say it wasn't true love. It sounds like there was something about him that intimmedated you... A friend of mine was dating a guy who had very strict values. As a result, there were certain parts of her racy past that she never shared. Years later, right after they broke up, she attributed this difference in beliefes as one of the major reasons they split. She just couldnt deal with the fact that he was so dead against certain things in life. Even though she no longer lived that way, it bothered her that she felt she could never share that part of herself with him. They did love eachother, it was about communication.
melodymatters Posted September 1, 2006 Posted September 1, 2006 Having been in all " sorts" of relationships, Yeah, I think that feeling of being able to BE YOURSELF, is probably the number one componant ! In the relationships where I felt my "me-ness" was stifled, I was the most unhappy, the ones where I was the most " Melody" have been the closest and most fun. Also my best gal friend just got married to a great guy afetr many abusive relationships. She now works for the local Domectic violence shelter, and the primary thing she said about what made her relationship with her new husband great, was "that she could always be herself, and feel accepeted and loved" Personally, I'd rather hang out with my dogs and comedy central than somone I can't giggle with like a best friend !
Author Brittanyjean06 Posted September 1, 2006 Author Posted September 1, 2006 haha love comedy central and yes I could giggle with him but If he was more acting him self I would be really shy I never truely opened up ....so I hope all my relationships are not like that unless I will never be able to have true fun haha
Moodswing Posted September 1, 2006 Posted September 1, 2006 True love should be where you can open up and talk about anything right? Well In my last relationship for 2 1/ years I never was totally myself...Isn't that just lust? True love should be with a man who feels like your best friend...Mine never ever felt like that...? I agree with you, sort of, on this - I wasn't myself in my last relationship either - I tried too hard to be the perfect girlfriend and really it was me that put too many pressures on it and it kind of self-destructed. I've tried to remain friends with him, and still trying to get over it - this no contact thing hasn't made any difference to me - we're still very fond of each other, but now I'm 'myself' again, we seem to get on alot better. Maybe there's a future for us, maybe not, I'm not expecting anything - I'm happy to be myself now. I think best friends is 'true love' like you say, but maybe blokes don't see it like that - I dunno...?
SadandConfusedWA Posted September 1, 2006 Posted September 1, 2006 I don't know. Different people bring out different parts in my personality. I can pretty much say that there is no person currently in my life that I am 100% myself with. And that includes family/friends/work/ex boyfriends/possible future boyfriends. Example: My boss, get along great with him, we laugh and joke a lot, but I'm somewhat intimidated by him and try to appear more intallectual than I really am. My best girlfriend, we talk about guys and sex and also joke a lot but our conversations are pretty shallow. With her a probably try to act more sexually experienced than I really am. With mum I'm pretty open about everything but I try to appear LESS sexually experienced that I really am. With my ex boyfriend we are still friends and he is into all the coolest clubs/celebrities and I try to appear cooler than I really am. I have lots of fun with all these people. But I guess if I'm not fully myself with people I have known all my life it would be a bit abmitious to expect to magically meet a new guy that will fulfill this criteria. Having written all that down I realized that maybe it's me that's the problem
Moai Posted September 1, 2006 Posted September 1, 2006 Men have this, too. I never felt like myself in any of my previous relationships, although I didn't realize I wasn't being myself. It's funny (no pun intended) about the giggle thing. My girlfriend and I giggle all the time. My sides hurt the next day sometimes. She has a really goofy sense of humor, and the way she reacts to things sometimes is so cute and awesome I find that I am smiling all the time. I have never had so much fun in my whole life. I am, of course, head over heels for her. I have never been in love before (I thought I was), but this must be true love because I can't fathom anything being better than this. I want to be with her all the time, and I never have to figure out why she is doing what she is doing, or how she feels, or whatever. When she is gone I feel like part of me is missing, but at the same time I feel totally great about myself and with myself. I think that false love is the kind where you feel insecure and have the urge to change something about yourself (or your partner) in order to make it "perfect". It is great sometimes, but there is always something going on underneath that seperates you. Then mindgames start, or resentment (or both) and then it is suddenly over. All I can say is hold out and fall in love with your best friend.
KittenMoon Posted September 1, 2006 Posted September 1, 2006 I am, of course, head over heels for her. I have never been in love before (I thought I was), but this must be true love because I can't fathom anything being better than this. I want to be with her all the time, and I never have to figure out why she is doing what she is doing, or how she feels, or whatever. When she is gone I feel like part of me is missing, but at the same time I feel totally great about myself and with myself. Of course, it can start off like this.... and end up like this: I think that false love is the kind where you feel insecure and have the urge to change something about yourself (or your partner) in order to make it "perfect". It is great sometimes, but there is always something going on underneath that seperates you. Then mindgames start, or resentment (or both) and then it is suddenly over. It's funny how people can change. Did I say funny? I mean it sucks. Sometimes I think true love is only moment to moment...
Moai Posted September 1, 2006 Posted September 1, 2006 It's true, nothing in life is certain. The weird thing is I have known my girlfriend for going on three years, and we have been dating for about four months. I have never been anything but myself around her--we met when she was dating a friend of mine. I think because she was with my friend I didn't have to pretend or anything, I just acted like myself. After they broke up, we would see each other once a month or so, and it was totally casual and I didn't feel the need to do or say anything special. We always had fun together. Slowly, we began to see more and more of each other because we have fun together, and have the same taste in everything. We could talk about anything and everything, too. Unlike the way I was in relationships, I didn't hold back how I felt on a particular issue or how I feel about relationships or whatever because I wasn't concerned about "blowing it". It turns out that I had all the right answers, I guess, because one day I woke up and realized I loved her. I told her so, and she said the same thing! Since then our communication is even better (I wouldn't have thought that possible). I know that it could end and change, but I am putting maximum effort into our relationship, and I know she is, too. I prefer to look at the bright side and think it'll last!
KittenMoon Posted September 1, 2006 Posted September 1, 2006 It's true, nothing in life is certain. The weird thing is I have known my girlfriend for going on three years, and we have been dating for about four months. I have never been anything but myself around her--we met when she was dating a friend of mine. I think because she was with my friend I didn't have to pretend or anything, I just acted like myself. After they broke up, we would see each other once a month or so, and it was totally casual and I didn't feel the need to do or say anything special. We always had fun together. Slowly, we began to see more and more of each other because we have fun together, and have the same taste in everything. We could talk about anything and everything, too. Unlike the way I was in relationships, I didn't hold back how I felt on a particular issue or how I feel about relationships or whatever because I wasn't concerned about "blowing it". It turns out that I had all the right answers, I guess, because one day I woke up and realized I loved her. I told her so, and she said the same thing! Since then our communication is even better (I wouldn't have thought that possible). I know that it could end and change, but I am putting maximum effort into our relationship, and I know she is, too. I prefer to look at the bright side and think it'll last! I didn't mean to cast doubt on your relationship. Coming out of one of those relationships where everyone thought we'd be together forever, I was just trying to illustrate that true love can be over a moment, a month, a year, 5 years, and then become something else over the same amounts of time. Doesn't necessarily mean it wasn't true, just because it didn't last. (Now if I could only get myself to accept this.... )
Ariadne Posted September 1, 2006 Posted September 1, 2006 Plink, plink, plink!!! Unlike the way I was in relationships, I didn't hold back how I felt on a particular issue or how I feel about relationships or whatever because I wasn't concerned about "blowing it". It turns out that I had all the right answers, I guess, because one day I woke up and realized I loved her. I told her so, and she said the same thing! Since then our communication is even better (I wouldn't have thought that possible). Another one that found a soulmate! Congratulations!!! Ariadne
LaraV Posted September 2, 2006 Posted September 2, 2006 Sometimes I think true love is only moment to moment... I agree with you on this one, KM. I remember when I was with my fiance...four years into our relationship we suddenly had this *moment* of sorts and he just blurted out, "you're the love of my life." He is such a man's man that to hear that from him...well, I just felt so overwhelmed with his love, in a good way I mean. Then, a year later, I got really sick, and I really needed him by my side, and he just totally bailed on me - when I needed him the most. It's just so sucky how nothing in this life is guaranteed. So I really do think it's just a moment to moment thing.
Author Brittanyjean06 Posted September 4, 2006 Author Posted September 4, 2006 I think there is true love but like kittenmoon said, moment to moment is true. True love doesn't just last forever so screw that qoute " true love lasts forever', nothing really does. Also with the other person saying about you being insecure about the relationship, I agree with that too. I was sooo insecure that I was not myself and my ex didn't make it any better with telling me mean things people said behind my back ( of who they thought I was ) grr screw them! I can't wait to have that relationship where I can be my total self and happy all the time. I had a very shallow fake relationship with a crazy mo fo
dame_mas Posted September 5, 2006 Posted September 5, 2006 i agree with you.true love is something that you feel so free, yet knowing that you have someone with you... ever felt that? i am living it right now and i am so happy about it! in my previous relationships i was bound and felt so suffocated.... unlike this one. this guy is just marvellous
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