bottle my tears Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 hi! i hope some will answer i need some advice!!!!!!!!!!!! i am 41 ,white my boyfriend 37, black..we have been seeing each other for 2yrs both had 13 and 20 yrs of marraige and had very bad divorices. we met at work he is the best friend i have., most my family are ok., with it. me i don't see color we are all the same. he has lost his excitement of us seeing each other., i did but it returned., i was divorced 2yrs before him and so i understand kicking your heels up and he has 3 kids., the ex fights everything., i only have 1 daughter 21., she fine with it because he a great guy. he has pulled away from me he called 2 or 3 times a day even when we were apart( him Kicking) now he call about every 2 or 3 days., its like he doesn't love me., he said he is has alot with trying to see his kids and he changed jobs. i really love him but i can't get back close to him. i stopped calling him and wait for him to call me and he does some things it might go 4 days., he comes over one a week or one every 2 weeks he does work until 7 and doen't get home until 9:30. but how can i be that special someone to him.. i was married 20yrs so iam out of touch... please reply., everyone. u can email me
Buttaflyy Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 What does any of this have to do with black and white? I don't see how it was relative to your story at all.
Author bottle my tears Posted September 1, 2006 Author Posted September 1, 2006 please anyone no matter what your conmemt is please reply>>hi! i hope some will answer i need some advice!!!!!!!!!!!! i am 41 ,white my boyfriend 37, black..we have been seeing each other for 2yrs both had 13 and 20 yrs of marraige and had very bad divorices. we met at work he is the best friend i have., most my family are ok., with it. me i don't see color we are all the same. he has lost his excitement of us seeing each other., i did but it returned., i was divorced 2yrs before him and so i understand kicking your heels up and he has 3 kids., the ex fights everything., i only have 1 daughter 21., she fine with it because he a great guy. he has pulled away from me he called 2 or 3 times a day even when we were apart( him Kicking) now he call about every 2 or 3 days., its like he doesn't love me., he said he is has alot with trying to see his kids and he changed jobs. i really love him but i can't get back close to him. i stopped calling him and wait for him to call me and he does some things it might go 4 days., he comes over one a week or one every 2 weeks he does work until 7 and doen't get home until 9:30. but how can i be that special someone to him.. i was married 20yrs so iam out of touch... please reply., everyone. u can email me
mattea Posted September 1, 2006 Posted September 1, 2006 I'm sorry you're having a hard time with the distance in your relationship. I need to ask the same question as Buttaflyy. I don't mean it to be dismissive, but you did say a lot about the interracial nature of your relationship and I'm also wondering what relevance this holds. I'm wondering if you feel that there somehow the challenges of being in an interracial relationship have something to do with the problems in your relatoinship. I'm asking this because if you do, you might have to face some things and have some discussions around race.
insomnie Posted September 1, 2006 Posted September 1, 2006 What does any of this have to do with black and white? I don't see how it was relative to your story at all. I was wondering this as well. From your story it just sounds as though he has a lot going on right now. Be there for him, but don't nag about needing to see him. If there's one thing I've learned about men, it's that they like to feel in control and like they come up with the answers by themselves. Pressure to fulfill relationshippy duties like obligatory phone calls, dates, and sometimes even sex seems to make men want to run in the other direction, especially when they are busy enough that your relationship is not the top priority. So back off, let him come to the conclusion about you guys on his own. If he wants to be with you, and if you give him some space amidst the chaos of his life to figure that out, he'll come back, emotionally and physically. But there's realy nothing you can actively do to get more of him, I don't think.
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