robkris8079 Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 Well my wife ended up having an afair and leaving me and the child. I live in the house and she resides with her father. My wife tells me that our friend Randy is going to help her look at a car today. Her truck takes too much gas so she is trying to find something more economical. This friend I have known for a really long time. Since before I was dating my soon to be ex. Though he was never really my friend until I was with my wife Kristen so I guess technically we all become friends at the same time. He was actually in our wedding party. But it bothers me that he is helping her out. Should it? I mean all of this is still new. My wife is still cheating on me. I know we are seperated but she already has a boyfriend and goes to see him every chance she gets. She changed her marital status on her website from married to in a relationship. He lives in cape cod and we live in CT so it's quite a hall for her. I called Randy last night to let him know about how I felt about the situation. I explained to him that I know you knew Kristen for a long time but everything is new and she hurt me real bad. And she is still hurting me. I explained to him that he can do what ever he wants but that it bothers me that he is helping her. I know he is still going to help her but how should I feel about that and towards him after this? I really wish he wouldn't help her.
a4a Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 whoa......... now you need to stop this. You are only hurting yourself. Are you going to call all her friends and ask them to stay away from her? How is that going to help you? It is obvious you are hurt but you cannot control other people and how they decide to deal with her. It will end up coming and biting you in the ass and cause more drama when instead you need to be setting your own goals and focusing on you. Did you go to therapy yet?
Author robkris8079 Posted August 31, 2006 Author Posted August 31, 2006 That's why I love this place. You people tell it how it is. For some reason it bothered me but I guess it shouldn't. He was her friend also and I can't control what he does, she does or anyone else except myself. No the appt with the therapist was not made yet. You always ask me my goals and that is mine for the day. I do have the appt with the lawyer today. Thanks again.
dgiirl Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 Dont make your friends choose. If anything, you can ask them not to talk about her around you, but dont put them into the middle.
Mz. Pixie Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 How do you know it's not him that she's cheating with?? Could he be perhaps trying to make a move on her if not??
a4a Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 How do you know it's not him that she's cheating with?? Could he be perhaps trying to make a move on her if not?? :lmao: throw another gallon of gas on his fire...... :lmao:
Gunny376 Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 Friend, Friend trying to make a move on the STBXW ~ forget this woman. All she is now is the Mother of your child. That's and your STBXW. Mutual firends ~ tell them you don't want to discuss it ~ and then don't. That's what theapist are for. Work on yourself and moving on. Her problems are no longer your problems. Her issues are no longer your issues. Her worries are no longer your worries. Her problems are no longer your problems. Her whatever ~ save your child ~ are no longer a part of your life. Whomever she's with ~ it isn't you. She's made that choice. It takes two to make it ~ and one to break it. Whomever she's with is her business ~ just like your business is yours now ~ and not hers.
ddw5195 Posted September 20, 2006 Posted September 20, 2006 well I am thinking that the reason you do not want him to help her cause she has hurt you. well you dont see it but this puts him in a bad position,why, because he is friends with you both. I am the kinda of person that if you needed help I would be there. and in the same token if she needed help then I would be there for her. what was his response when you talked to him? I am sure if you asked for some help he would try his best. in all assuming that he is just as close with you as her. it makes you mad probly cause she has hurt you so. just take it with a grain of salt and just act like it does not bother you. carry on with your life and start dating because she has hers.
Sup Posted September 20, 2006 Posted September 20, 2006 I understand YOUR reservations about this one, I'm not saying that he is also messing with her, or just trying to help her out. It's possible either way, If she cheated with you, she'll cheat on OM for sure. However, do you have any type of proof that he may be doing some sort of, UM, exchange? I wouldn't accuse ANYONE til you know for certain, you don't wanna make this anymore difficult than it already is, you surely don't want to lose any real friends. Take care of yourself and your baby. Laterz.
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