Tonic Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 my bf and i , we are just officially a couple last week. Still very very new. Both of us are very busy with our work . I have my own schedule and things to do , so does he. He is working in marketing line, which requires him to meet a lot of people and go travel a lot. and i work in architecture line which is really time consuming. So i just want to check with you all, how often you contact your bf/gf? I dont want to contact him all the time, and give him an impression that i am so dependent on him . If i texted him one or two msg in few days , is it considered too little or too much ? So far i seldom call him . He is the one who did the calling ... Guys, how do u usually keep in touch with your bf/gf without being irritating ? should i play game or something ?
rina_r Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 Never play games with anyone - it hurts people. I dont know how old you are but i am aiming at a stable strong relationship. We communicate every day, would see each other every day but I have school and stuff. Do what ever feels comfortable for you both.
superconductor Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 Forget texting. It's too impersonal. A couple of phone calls per week should be sufficient. Again, it depends on what you're both comfortable with, of course, just like rina_r said. And don't debase yourself or your new relationship by playing games. Nobody wins that way.
gemmab2020 Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 I think that in a serious relationship, contact of some form is essential on a daily basis. JMO, but as it is bcoming apparent to me, I don't have a clue!
tonic Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 I think that in a serious relationship, contact of some form is essential on a daily basis. JMO, but as it is bcoming apparent to me, I don't have a clue! i am sorry.. i am new here.. what is JMO ? I really hope that he and i can contact each other on daily basis but he said to me that when he is out of town for business trip he might be very busy. So i leave him alone . He said he missed me yet he didnt call . Is it normal for a new relationship ? well, i dont inted to play a game, but i really have no clue what is in his mind. During our dating , we met only few times in one month since he always out of town or even overseas . How should i handle this kind of relationship ? when your partner always travel ... any body experienced this ?
norajane Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 For a long time, I was the one who always traveled. And it's really, really hard to have a regular love life when you're not in town. Business trips tend to be overscheduled with meetings and activites, and you're left scrambling to get enough sleep and dealing with jet lag and strange time zones and strange eating schedules. Airports are exhausting, packing and unpacking is a drag, and when you are home, you barely have enough energy to do your laundry, much less be all romantic. So, don't get stressed out if you don't hear from him every day, or every few days, or even once a week! It's not that he cares about you less, or that he's not thinking about you, or that he doesn't want to see you. It's just hard to be consistent about contact and dating when you're on the road a lot. The upside is he'll have lots of frequent flyer miles and hotel points, so when you two get to a point where you vacation together, you'll have lots of nice options in Maui or London or Mexico! As for how much contact you should be doing, obviously whatever you were doing up to this point was good. There's no reason to change that immediately just because you're now an 'official couple'. Just do what you were doing and let things happen naturally.
Buttaflyy Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 I contact him as often as I can and if he answers he's not annoyed. LOL! Just kidding. I really agree with this.. I think that in a serious relationship, contact of some form is essential on a daily basis. JMO, but as it is bcoming apparent to me, I don't have a clue! By the way, JMO=Just my opinion.
james007 Posted September 1, 2006 Posted September 1, 2006 Nowadays I contact my girlfriend only if I have a specific reason such as confirming dating plans. I didn't call her for 9 days but she called me 5 times during those 9 days. I answered the phone each time. I don't call everyday because I don't want to risk annoying her. I want to give her a chance to miss me too. So on average I limit my calls to twice a week but recently it's been even less frequently than that. I have not called her since Tuesday morning and I don't intend to call her until Saturday night or Sunday. She calls me once every day or once every other day on average. I prefer contact over the phone rather than on IMs or text messages. I think IMs and text messages are too impersonal.
Moai Posted September 1, 2006 Posted September 1, 2006 I almost never call my girlfriend, but she calls me every day--usually a couple of times. It doesn't irritate me at all. I love it. I do see her everyday, too, though. I love that, too. I guess it depends on how much you like who you are dating, and your level of intimacy. It just naturally evolved into this, it seems. It doesn't occur to me that I would irritate her if I called her.
Sally00 Posted September 1, 2006 Posted September 1, 2006 Games are bad..... mmmmmkay? My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 months. So, it's different than your situation. At the beginning, we'd see each other a lot. I honestly don't even remember how often we contacted each other. But from what I remember... this summer, we have been talking on the phone everyday. He calls me everyday after work. He's busier than me... but I think once I get more into the whole nursing school, I'm going to be busy, too. But since he's busier than me, I wait for his call because if I call him, he's most likely busy with somethin'. I think texting your boyfriend every few days isn't even bad. Just see how it goes at the beginning... then an eventual pattern will develop and you can go from there.
lonelybird Posted September 2, 2006 Posted September 2, 2006 What are you talking about if you call each other everyday?
Buttaflyy Posted September 2, 2006 Posted September 2, 2006 What are you talking about if you call each other everyday? Whatever comes to mind. Any and everything!
allina Posted September 2, 2006 Posted September 2, 2006 So on average I limit my calls to twice a week but recently it's been even less frequently than that. Okay, maybe it's just me but to me this is WEIRD. Me and my bf have had daily contact since we started seeing eachother and still do, we talk on the phone once or twice a day, text and im as well. It's often quick conversations about making plans or saying hi but we contact eachother a lot and both like it that way.
rainfall Posted September 2, 2006 Posted September 2, 2006 When me and my boyfriend first got together we talked almost every day. It was a little bit different for us because we work together so it was kinda hard for us not to talk at least once every day. However I think once a day/everyother day is probably pretty normal for most new couples. I would think when it starts to get serious you would want to check in every day to see how you SO is doing.
Moai Posted September 2, 2006 Posted September 2, 2006 What are you talking about if you call each other everyday? Absolutely nothing. Usually it is to confirm where I am going to be when she gets off of work, or what we are going to do later. If she is at her house, usually she calls to let me know something funny her dog is doing, or something trivial. Someting just to have each other on the other side of the phone, I guess. I never thought about that either.
nicki Posted September 2, 2006 Posted September 2, 2006 If it's casual dating, then whenever is okay....but, once in a relationship, I'd say every day contact is essential (for me) for closeness and sharing. One of the nicest things is to say hi in the morning and goodnight before bed. The night time conversations is usually to relate what happened during the day, and to say sleep well. The morning one is to say good morning, what's up for you today? Daily conversations build a relationship to the point where you are sharing daily life. Pretty important, I'd say...
lonelybird Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 I see. so the daily conversation can make couple be part of each other's life and feel closeness. good for you I guess I am an alien, from the moon. usually when my bf(or ex)called me, I am the one who most of time listen. and two calls in a week would be enough for me, or I thought so. maybe we are not that close enough? Back to the OP, I think it depends. if your SO is happy to hear from you, then the frequency is perfect, if your SO hurry to get off the phone, or voice is impatient, that means the frequency is a little bit too much for that period.
nicki Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 Lonelybird, what you said makes sense. Seeing how the OP responds to the contact, can help set the pace. Smart idea. I was also thinking that the amount of contact necessary to make one happy might also be based on how much time you spend together. I don't see my boyfriend for a week at a time, so daily contact makes us happy. If I saw him more often in person, then I'd probably talk less to him on the phone.
tonic Posted September 4, 2006 Posted September 4, 2006 For a long time, I was the one who always traveled. And it's really, really hard to have a regular love life when you're not in town. Business trips tend to be overscheduled with meetings and activites, and you're left scrambling to get enough sleep and dealing with jet lag and strange time zones and strange eating schedules. Airports are exhausting, packing and unpacking is a drag, and when you are home, you barely have enough energy to do your laundry, much less be all romantic. So, don't get stressed out if you don't hear from him every day, or every few days, or even once a week! It's not that he cares about you less, or that he's not thinking about you, or that he doesn't want to see you. It's just hard to be consistent about contact and dating when you're on the road a lot. The upside is he'll have lots of frequent flyer miles and hotel points, so when you two get to a point where you vacation together, you'll have lots of nice options in Maui or London or Mexico! As for how much contact you should be doing, obviously whatever you were doing up to this point was good. There's no reason to change that immediately just because you're now an 'official couple'. Just do what you were doing and let things happen naturally. thank you so much for all u all. and thank you norajane.. at least i can understand better his job. This week is just our second week, so far so good and he just came back from his trip from asia. And this friday he will fly to europe for almost 2 weeks. And next month i am the one who is gonna fly to europe . i have no clue how this relationship is gonna work , but i do have feeling for him and so far i find he has tried his best to meet me daily when he is in town. And i really appreaciate that. Guys, what would you do when your bf away ? how you handle the feeling when u havent heard him for days ? i dont want to be grumpy...but sometimes i miss him badly...
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