Guest Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 Here is my story: I dated a girl I met in high school in 1999 for approximently 3 years. I decided to break up with her because I was losing feelings for her and I had met someone that year (2002) whom I felt I had a better connections with at the time. Both her and I dated a few other people after that. Left and right I was either getting dumped or got cheated on and for no reason of my own. I think somewhere in there I started to just grow careless of other peoples feelings and would just mess around with girls who I think pretty much just wanted the same thing. In 2005, the girl I dated high school and I got back together. I was very hesistant at the time to do this because she had a child the time we were not together and I was also enjoying myself just being single. As time grew on I started to grow a new love for her and for her child. THIS IS MY PROBLEM: during the time we were together I've kissed this one girl not once, but twice. The first time, I did not care, but the second time has really been bothering me. It has laid this huge amount of guilt on my shoulders. For the past 3 days, from the time I go to sleep till the time I wake up all I think about is this stupid kiss that I did. I don't even know why I did it. I guess I thought that I wouldn't even think twice about it like the first time I did it. However, it is the complete opposite. I feel worthless, ashamed and I feel like that this girl deserves better than me. Someone who practically has loved me for 7 years and I'm just being stupid. I can say with complete honesty that since I've been with her that this is where I want to be for the rest of my life and I know that is what she wants to. We've talked about it and joked around many times about what kind of house were gonna get, etc. I'm struggling on the issue that I want to make myself a better person from this day forward, but I don't feel as if I deserve it. However, giving in would me giving up everything and I mean everything! I feel like I would go from being guilty to very depressed and not wanting anything out of life. I'm almost in my mid 20's, I have less than a year to go in school with a great career and I will be starting my real life soon. I would much like to start it with her, but this huge wall of guilt is blocking me. CAN ANYONE PLEASE HELP ME AND GIVE ME SOME MUCH NEEDED ADVICE OR COPING SKILLS SO THAT I CAN BETTER MYSELF AS A HUMAN BEING AND NOT HAVE TO LOSE EVERTHING I HAVE GOT. I WANT THIS MORE OUT OF LIFE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW. I will listen to anyone. Thank you for your time and patients reading this blog.
litfish Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 It sounds like you really made a mistake. Unfortunately, the only positive thing that would happen if you tell her about it is that it would allow you to unburden yourself of the guilt you feel. The negative effects would be that it would hurt her and you may lose her--If you truly love her and want to spend your life with her as you say you do, it sounds like the negative consequences of telling her would outweigh the positive ones. My suggestion is to consider the guilt you feel as a fitting punishment for your mistake, as well as incentive not to make the same mistake a third time. Just forgive yourself--humans do make mistakes. But if you learn from it it won't have been in vain. Best of luck
Sand&Water Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 Did you kiss the other girl because it was just a 'spur of the moment' or because you were into her? The way, in my opinion, to begin the process of healing is if you make it up to your longterm girlfriend by show of love and affection. Do not tell her about this kiss business. Do your best to stay faithful. Good Luck.
norajane Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 Forget the kiss. Let it go and live your life with this woman.
Recommended Posts