flyingspaghetti Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 What are they? Without sounding weird but trying to get to know someone to befriend them online first, how do you not sound weird or creepy? I would like to try and talk with a local girl who has some of the same interests (writing, poetry, making friends). We started writing back-and-forth, and it seems like she stopped after her third message to me. It was the same thing with three guys I wanted to befriend prior to her. One of these guys is this girl's husband. It's been eight days since I have heard from her. My own mind is driving me crazy wondering if it was something I said in my last message. But...why do people take it for granted that once you are in their list, they seem to stop after the third message? How can I get to know others if that is persisitently happening. The thing I find annoying is that people take it for granted that being in someone's Friends list on MySpace (yes, MySpace) they tend to stop writing emails to you. This girl and two of the three guys before her sounded like they all really wanted to write me/get to know me. They have said stuff like, "Well, I hope to hear back from you" and "thank you for writing me. I would like to get to know you more." And these are people who have "Friends" next to their "Here for" part of their profile. But... I am looking to make actual local/in-town friends or at least get to know people, you know. Why do they say these things if they stop writing after three messages? So, how do I NOT sound creepy? I mean, think about it and please place yourself in my shoes: if you are trying to talk with someone you would like to talk more with and even hang out with, how would you go about it without sounding pushy or impatient (even if I am)? There are qualities of these popel that I really like about them as potential friends. And, the whole "they might be busy" phrase doesn't convince me. I have noticed they get online on an almost daily basis (two of them and the other two are a couple of times per week), and I have seen some of them leave comments on their other friends' pages. So.... what is happening???? Why would people who claim to want to make friends take advantage of just keeping you in their friends' list? And, these people don't have 100s of people either. So, it's not like they just add anyone. Any ideas? I am just running into corners. I would be most interested in hearing from people who have actual MySpace accounts and who are somewhat familiar with the interaction that goes on. And, no, I would prefer not to hear things like, "That's why I don't use those things, etc." For one, I am using it to socialize since I have a difficult time in doing so in person, I was recommended to use this website. And I find it odd how I have had the same thing happen with four different people. What is going on? Any of you had similiar experiences on MySpace? Thanks to all replies.
dgiirl Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 I think you are trying to rush the friendship. Emails are just like phone calls in that you cant keep calling a person every second to keep the conversation going. Sometimes conversations die. Give them some space, and let things progress naturally. If you see something cool online, send them a link! If you want to meet up with them, ask them if they want to go to a movie or something. It's better if there's more people involved. People tend to like to do things in groups as opposed to one on one.
phyrespryte Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 ...Emails are just like phone calls in that you cant keep calling a person every second to keep the conversation going. Sometimes conversations die. Give them some space, and let things progress naturally. Yeah I agree with that. I also think that some people just aren't internet people and writing emails are extremely time consuming for them. I have this one penpal on myspace that I've been writing to for about half a year now. And we used to take forever to get back to each other. I think the longest was like a month and a half? And it wasn't bad. I think as long as you don't expect too much, things will just flow better. And instead of just focusing on that one girl maybe you could write to a bunch of other people? That way you're not always waiting for that one person to write back.
Author flyingspaghetti Posted September 1, 2006 Author Posted September 1, 2006 Thank you both for your suggestions. I will keep them in mind. Well, a funny thing happened.... late last night she wrote me a comment saying she hadn't heard from me in a while and would hope to hear back from me. Wow!!! Haha...how funny how we BOTH were thinking the same thing!! That tells me one of our messages didn't go through, and we were both wondering about each other. She was just the first one to make mention of it. I am going to write her a message in a while. That was pretty unexpected but really cool...
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