tearsandfears Posted August 30, 2006 Posted August 30, 2006 I consider myself an average looking man. From on a scale of one to ten I think I'd fall between a 4 and a generous 6. Like everyone else in the world I've been dumped but I've never really been dumped for doing something specific like cheating or bad stuff like that. I've for the most part always have tried to be respectful in a non boring sort of way but I've had relationships ended on me that seemed to be basically for vague or trivial reasons "were not right together, you too good for me, I need to try things alone for a while ". When such things happen I feel like I'm cut off rather quickly and the thought always pokes around that if I were better looking the relationship might have lasted longer or I'd have gotten away with whatever faults I was sighted for. My question is this, in the most general terms possible, Do Average or Homely men have to work much harder to maintain relationships with women than handsome men do? Are handsome men's faults overlooked more than an average/homely guy's faults?
P1xie Posted August 30, 2006 Posted August 30, 2006 I don't think looks have much to do with maintaining a relationship. Looks matter more in initial attraction. But then I have been with real so called "Hot" guys who were abusive jerks. Now when I think about them or see them they are ugly to me. So in answer to your question life is not easier if you are "One of the beautiful people", or any harder if you are average. You are either meant to be together or not. You either work to be together or you move on. Looks aren't going to help you keep a relationship.
burning 4 revenge Posted August 30, 2006 Posted August 30, 2006 I disagree a bit here. I think if you're good looking, of course you're going to get away with more in many situations. That's not the biggest one though. The real trick is to be great in bed. If you blow her mind sexually, you'll get away with murder.
Agent M Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 The men that I've been sexually attracted to are the ones that get away with murder. BUT, the good looking ones aren't always the sexually attractive ones. It has something to do with personality. Objective attractiveness isn't the deal maker....it's some kind of charisma, challenge, or anything that is desireable to someone. Now, if you load good looks on top of that, ooh you're in trouble.
alphamale Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 Are handsome men's faults overlooked more than an average/homely guy's faults? when it comes to women, good looking dudes get away with murder. but this applies to both sexes. study after study has shown that attractive people have much easier and happier lives, in general.
swirly27 Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 See, I think this can go this way, but not necessarily. I was just dating a very good looking guy, sexy too and very good in bed. But he wasn't treating me the way I should have been treated and OH MY GOODNESS I didn't want to but I ended things with him and I miss him ALOT.....but I knew I deserved to be treated better. It sucks cause I do miss the intimacy, the sex, all of it.....hence why I won't let myself drink for awhile because if I do, I'll probably drunk dial hahaha. But, I still didn't let him get away with what he was doing. I think it also depends on where we are at in our lives and what we are looking for in that person. I wanted something special to happen so I didn't accept what he was doing. Maybe if I was just into the fwb thing, then I'd have let it slide, but who knows. Everyone is different.
superconductor Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 when it comes to women, good looking dudes get away with murder. but this applies to both sexes. study after study has shown that attractive people have much easier and happier lives, in general. Sadly, this happens to be absolutely true. Whatever the reason, the notion that attractiveness correlates with success still rings true.{google "Looking Good: The Psychology and Biology of Beauty"} Alas, the old saw of "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" isn't true. Do a google search on the golden ratio of 1:1.618, especially when it's referring to physical attractiveness. ... (S)cientists have narrowed down to a simple mathematical ratio of 1:1.618, otherwise known as phi, or divine proportion, to set standards of beauty.
blind_otter Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 Well the phrase "it's a good thing you're so pretty..." wouldn't exist if this weren't true. More attractive men and women get away with more, more often. That's just the way the cookie crumbles.
Buttaflyy Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 This may be all true, but as someone else said, it's not really what maintains a relationship. If you are an all around good guy, you attracted her enough to enter a relationship, I think it's gotta be something else. Maybe even personality wise. Maybe your not so aggressive. How many women say that they are with a man that they love who's not their normal "type"? Beleive me, in these cases he's compensating for his looks with something else.
laRubiaBonita Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 IMO- pretty people usually are treated somewhat different to begin with, this instilling in them that looks ARE everything! It will only be a matter of time before manipulation of others will be perfected.
Mollyanna Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 I don't think looks have much to do with maintaining a relationship. Looks matter more in initial attraction. But then I have been with real so called "Hot" guys who were abusive jerks. Now when I think about them or see them they are ugly to me. So in answer to your question life is not easier if you are "One of the beautiful people", or any harder if you are average. You are either meant to be together or not. You either work to be together or you move on. Looks aren't going to help you keep a relationship. I completely disagree. I was an ugly kid and a lot of my self esteems issues all stem from the way other kids (and adults) treated me. (Try signing up for a school play, a musical, cheerleading, Pep Squad, a choir in my town - you did not get picked because you weren't one of the beautiful popular crowd). That definitely made for a more difficult life. I am semi-attractive now (at the very least - not as ugly as I was as a kid) and people are so much friendlier. People even smile at you on the street. They do favors for you. They go out of their way to help you out. As a constant yoyo dieter, I know that when I am 20 pounds heavier I am uglier and people are less likely to give up their seat for you on the train or help you put your baggage in overhead compartments. But, when I am at a good weight and therefore more attractive, people will fight over themselves to pick up something I have dropped on the ground. It's NOT fair and because of my realizations, I try very hard to not treat other people this way. But you really can't help what you are attracted to.
Guest Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 I think it is more about confidence, it just so happens that USUALLY the attractive guys are VERY confident, but confidence alone can't get you very far. Any woman worth a man's time isn't going to allow him to mistreat her. You have to love yourself before you can love someone else.
Adunaphel Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 My question is this, in the most general terms possible, Do Average or Homely men have to work much harder to maintain relationships with women than handsome men do? No. Not as much as you'd think. Are handsome men's faults overlooked more than an average/homely guy's faults? Yes and no. If a stranger acts in an unpleasant way with a woman, some women will get more upset if he is a good looking guy. If a stranger makes fun of me, if he looks average I get mad, if he looks handsome I get ten times more upset. You can overlook a handsome guy's faults when you are dating or you are entering in a relationship with him - I admit freely that I'd go on a date with a very handsome guy that I don't like *that* much ("he is a jerk but he is arm candy" ) just because it would be a huge self-esteem boost. But -mind me- I'd never do such a thing as using him for sex and dropping him. I'm not like that. ) You don't overlook them when you have been in a relationship with him for quite a lot of time. Unless you are one of those chicks that *need* to have a a boyfriend they can show off.
Yamaha Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 Why even debate this reality? Yes, attractive people have a easier time. It is a fact of life. You either deal with this and have a happy life or you blame yourself or other's for your lot. It does no good to be sad so you might as well accept yourself and find someone else who accepts you as well.
bluechocolate Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 Why even debate this reality? Yes, attractive people have a easier time. It is a fact of life. I would say the same.
lindya Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 Attractive people have a better time of it, but actually identifying what makes a person attractive can be difficult. Some people have near perfect features and always look good in photos, but somehow they're just not attractive in real life. Often because they lack character, so there's nothing about them that touches your emotions. Body language has a lot to do with making someone seem hot...eg elegance, appealing physical habits, cute facial expressions, sexy voices. There's a certain expression that I can only describe as laid-back, good humoured sexiness, and when I see people with that, I generally find them hot - regardless of the shape of their features.
alphamale Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 Some people have near perfect features and always look good in photos, but somehow they're just not attractive in real life. I used to know this woman who was pretty average looking in real life but for some reason in photos she used to look great. It was wierd. I don't know what caused that to occur. She was like the two-face lady from SeinFeld.
lindya Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 I used to know this woman who was pretty average looking in real life but for some reason in photos she used to look great. It was wierd. I don't know what caused that to occur. She was like the two-face lady from SeinFeld. I've met quite a few people like that. Some people's faces just look better as flat images than they look in 3D.
alphamale Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 I've met quite a few people like that. Some people's faces just look better as flat images than they look in 3D. You mean that some people will look better in a two dimensional world? Hmmm....What about the reverse? I know a few who are so ugly that even an eight dimensional world would not make them look good
lindya Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 You mean that some people will look better in a two dimensional world? Yes. Perhaps as the myspace culture grows and grows, humans will evolve in such a way that most of them look far better in photographs than they look in real life.
Buttaflyy Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 Yes. Perhaps as the myspace culture grows and grows, humans will evolve in such a way that most of them look far better in photographs than they look in real life. That's what photoshop is for!
lindya Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 That's what photoshop is for! I must start figuring out how to use it, then.
a4a Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 I must start figuring out how to use it, then. I am considering a head to toe real life photoshop of myself. little nip here......yank there.... and a set of giant boobies BOT: If my H were not so good looking there is no way I would have put up with his crap for so long. And his Gumby like bending abilities..... and his equipment.
Buttaflyy Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 I must start figuring out how to use it, then. Ask Katie Couric (News anchorwoman here in the US.) Her photo was sized down to about 20 lbs lighter for an ad, supposedly w/o her permission.
burning 4 revenge Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 And his Gumby like bending abilities.... :love: Gumby told me to tell you you weren't so bad yerdamnself
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