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(long) Doesn't know what he wants... or is he playing games?


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My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. He is 23 and I will be 21 next month. He used to be a great guy and all he wanted to do was spend time with me. In March he gave me a promise ring, and told me he wanted to marry me in the future. For about a month before we broke up I could kind of sense that he was maybe unhappy, but I guess I kind of avoided bringing it up. On July 12 we got in a fight that was blown way out of proportion. We had plans to go to his friend, Ryan's, house and watch movies later that night. He was already hanging out with Ryan, and they had to run some errands. The hours flew by and he kept saying he would call back and didn't... it was very obvious I was being ignored. I finally called him, but he still said he wanted to hang out. He was supposed to be back in an hour from hanging out with ryan, but that easily turned into about 5 hours that they were gone. He finally called me and said Ryan and his wife got in a fight and that they were going out to have a beer and he would call me when he got home. I know how that goes though... what is one beer with a buddy always turns into a drunken night with the boys. I wasn't upset that he wanted to hang out with his friends, but the fact that he made plans with me and broke them, and broke his word when he said he would call and didn't several times that night. I got very upset, and overreacted. I basically told him he didn't care about me, and that I was coming out to his house to get all of my stuff that I had there (We didn't live together, but I stayed the night sometimes). By the time I got there I had cooled down quite a bit, and I basically told him I didn't want to leave him, but he broke up with me anyways and said he was tired of fighting (We started fighting quite a bit ever since his friend, Cliff, moved in with him). Anyways, he says he doesn't know what he wants now, he needs to straighten his life out and he doesn't think he can treat any girl right until he does, and that he can't be in a relationship right now, but it seems like he wants me waiting around on him while he goes out and parties. I know I became very clingy toward the end of the relationship, and I guess I shouldn't have called/ hung out with him so much... but he never really said it bothered him. He still calls me all the time, and he asks me to come over and he will tell me how much he loves me and misses me, but still doesn't want to get back together. He also had me come over one night and he was playing the song "23" by Jimmy Eat World, and he told me to pay attention to the words. I still don't understand what that was about. Anyways... any thoughts anyone? How can he be sooo sure he wants to get married one minute and the next minute he doesn't know? I don't even care about that part of it... I just want him back... I have never pressured him about getting married I think we should wait a couple years. He says I have changed.

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