pogostick_4 Posted August 30, 2006 Posted August 30, 2006 Good evening ladies and gentlemen,Hi my name is Nicholas and I found this forum through one of my cousin. He never writes here but he does read some posts. I was not sure whether to post my story here, due to labeling, but I decide to write it. I'll try to keep my story as short as possible as to not get you all bore. I been and still am in a 5 year relationship (first and only one by the way) with my finacee. In the first year, I get cheated on three times (making-out/kissing another dude on two occassions and then a different one). I know, I know, as stupid as it sounds and even after catching the kiss twice I'm till with her and engage now. We all make mistakes and well when there's love then things can work out. So ok, I forgave her all those times, she beg me, crying I was the one and well I forgave her. I must be too nice I guess. Now back to present: It's been going great and better comunication. However, I just did the unthinakble a week ago. Me, other cousin and some friends had a party and it was my very first time drinking. I exceeded it and french kissed another girl I dunno. I stopped it when we were making out. So I dunno now, I feel like telling her about it and then again I don't want to. I dunno, I never cheated before. I know getting drunk is no excuse either, but if I tell will she forgive me or not?
Tatara Posted August 30, 2006 Posted August 30, 2006 Now back to present: It's been going great and better comunication. However, I just did the unthinakble a week ago. Me, other cousin and some friends had a party and it was my very first time drinking. I exceeded it and french kissed another girl I dunno. I stopped it when we were making out. So I dunno now, I feel like telling her about it and then again I don't want to. I dunno, I never cheated before. I know getting drunk is no excuse either, but if I tell will she forgive me or not? She knows what its like to be on the other side of the situation. I'm fairly sure she will forgive you but no one can really tell. In any case it will be difficult for you two to trust each other in this relationship - I suggest both of you put some serious thought and conversation into why these things are happening (did you feel that since shes done it that it is ok for you to do it?) I'm glad you realize that getting drunk is not an excuse, if you try to cover these things with excuses you will never get to the root of the problem. Good luck to you two.
DeeBrod83 Posted August 30, 2006 Posted August 30, 2006 Honestly it sounds to me that you two aren't ready to be fully committed to each other, but that's your call to make. IMO when you cheat you don't tell.... it's your fault you should handle the guilt alone. Telling the other person just clears your conscious and gives it to your partner. Why would you want to hurt them like that. You did it, you deal with it. And maybe you two need to have a serious talk about fidelity if she seems to make a habit out of giving in to desire, and you've done it too.... my advice: hold off on getting married. You're both still very young and science shows you're decision making skills aren't fully developed until you're over 25. Honestly, what's it wait to hurt? You could be saving yourself a lot of heartache, money and time. Best of luck to you and remember to always trust your gut feeling!
BUTAFLY Posted August 30, 2006 Posted August 30, 2006 You guys sound way too young to be thinking of a life time commitment.(late teens-early 20's?) These are the years where you are suppose to do stuff like party, meet different people. Put the marriage on hold, live life guilt free, learn and then decide if you are right for one another.
Author pogostick_4 Posted September 20, 2006 Author Posted September 20, 2006 She knows what its like to be on the other side of the situation. I'm fairly sure she will forgive you but no one can really tell. In any case it will be difficult for you two to trust each other in this relationship - I suggest both of you put some serious thought and conversation into why these things are happening (did you feel that since shes done it that it is ok for you to do it?) I'm glad you realize that getting drunk is not an excuse, if you try to cover these things with excuses you will never get to the root of the problem. WOW it's obviously been a while since I written here. As for the update, yes Tatara I did already told her about it as I couldn't keep up with it anymore and it was eating me up inside. It's like even though I was drunk and made out without thinking, I still felt like a bastard/jerk. As for feeling like doing that back to her, nope that would have been childish and I never wanted to hurt her. When I chose to forgave I chose to work it out, not go on planning on getting even. It did took me a while for me to trust her again, esp. when I was starting to when we were just 6 months into out relationship and then comes the third time she cheated when I catch her making out with that dude. Don't get me wrong I was on my way of going out the door, in fact I didn't talk to her for a week calling it quits. That's the time she did show much more remorse than before, even on her knees. I didn't wanted to end it so we had a long conversation that day, did inform her it was the last time I would give it yet another shot. It's been 5 years now and everything's going better than before, she hadn't cheated on me since. So do I trust her now?? Yes off course I do, else I wouldn't be going on with the engagement. Anyways when I first told her, she did got upset for a little while that day, but then got over it quickly, we even had a great time that day. Looks like everything's back to normal and yes we're still engage. I'm also now fully aware of what is my body tolerance for alcoholic beverages.
LakesideDream Posted September 20, 2006 Posted September 20, 2006 I'm sorry, I can't get serious about two teens (or near teens) getting drunk at a party and kissing or tongue wrestling with semi-strangers. It sounds like a relationship "power grab" or just an excuse for some Drama to me.
Guest Posted September 20, 2006 Posted September 20, 2006 I agree with Butafly - why are you guys comtemplating marriage? Butafly is right! These are the types of things your supposed to be doing when you're young. Have fun and don't make any mistakes by entering into a committed relationship. If it was meant to be, it'll happen. If not - it never should've happened and it's a good thing it didn't.
MrsHellFire Posted September 23, 2006 Posted September 23, 2006 It's funny how all the immature men are always egging other men on to sleep around with tons of women. Not every MAN is for a promiscuous lifestyle, belive it or not. I swear, people are growing up far slower than the past due to the media and immature thoughts of just "fun" and "parties". It sickens me that some of these people NEVER grow up. Just because you haven't experienced love at a young age or love period, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. And some men actually like and are more suited to monogamy or long-term relationships with a SINGLE woman... what a concept! I'm thinking some of these men are feeling rather inferior or incomplete due to their whoring lifestyles, so they pressure others to join the "i-will-never-grow-up bachelor club".
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