Guest Posted August 30, 2006 Posted August 30, 2006 I don't know if this should post should be in this forum or the Gender Identity forum... so I will start here. When my boyfriend was 18 he started sleeping with guys. He says that he has always been attracted mostly to girls, but looks at guys too, he learned quickly that he could get sex from guys, so he did. He is now 22 and hasn't has sex with a guy in about 9 months. He says that he is done having sex with guys and it was just a curiousity experimental thing. We have been together off and on for two and a half years (off and on because we live 300 miles, not for relationship problems) until 9 months ago, when he quit sleeping with guys I knew nothing about it and he claims that he never slept with a guy while we were together, which I believe. We have talked about getting married when I am done with grad school (so about 4 years from now.) Does anyone think that he can just stop having sex with guys? That he will remain faithful to me forever? I don't know what to do with this?
norajane Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 Have you asked him how he felt about sex with guys? Does he feel guilty about it and is maybe hoping he can stay 'straight' with you? Or is he ok with his past and is just attracted to both sexes? If he's bisexual, he can stop having sex with men in the same way he'd stop having sex with other women if he wanted to be with only you. If he's gay, no, he's not going to be able to stop wanting to be with men.
Guest Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 Have you asked him how he felt about sex with guys? Does he feel guilty about it and is maybe hoping he can stay 'straight' with you? Or is he ok with his past and is just attracted to both sexes? If he's bisexual, he can stop having sex with men in the same way he'd stop having sex with other women if he wanted to be with only you. If he's gay, no, he's not going to be able to stop wanting to be with men. He is ok with it... He says that he is bisexual, but he also says that he enjoyed sex with guys... he did it for 3 years. I understand what you are saying but I am having a hard time understanding how you can be bisexual... I have never even thought of a girl like that. He seems to enjoy what we have done so I don't think that he is gay. This is just a whole new concept to me.
norajane Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 It might help you if you think of human sexuality as a spectrum rather than two separate endpoints. Each of us falls somewhere on the spectrum with varying degrees of attraction to the opposite or same sex. Most of us gravitate toward one part of the spectrum or another; some fall somewhere in between.
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