virtualkat Posted September 1, 2006 Posted September 1, 2006 there's another possibility - maybe she was sad and felt rejected when you pushed her hand away and didn't much feel like trying again for fear of being rejected again. i think that testing your partner in this kind of way, or at all, are pretty clear signs that you're not mature enough to be having any kind of sex at all. blurring the line between 'yes' and 'no' is not a game.
directx Posted September 1, 2006 Posted September 1, 2006 Ok, here is what you do. It takes some will power but the rewards are fantastic. Next time you are getting service from her, regardless of what it is, stop her before you finish. Just say, 'Hey, you know what? I'm just not into it right now. Maybe later.' You can then ask if you can do something to get her off. She won't know how to interpret you not wanting to finish. This puts all the power in your court and forever on she will do everything in her power to please you because now you put doubt in her mind. She will always be insecure on pleasing a man and will always try to prove to herself that she can. BELIEVE ME
Author james007 Posted September 1, 2006 Author Posted September 1, 2006 Hello? So if you are trying to put your hands in a girl's pants and she pulls your hand away, you keep insisting because you think she is only testing your interest? Would it take some screaming on her part to make you stop? Anyway, playing games is unhealthy to relationships. Unless both parties are game players who enjoy coming up with wicked tests to see if the other person loves them more than they enjoy loving each other for who they are. You must have missed my earlier post on this. If the situation were reversed and she pulled my hand away then I would have respected her wishes and not pushed the issue. Men and women are different. When a woman says no to sex I assume she means no. If a man says no then he might just be playing hard to get. So yes I would have stopped what I was doing immediately if she told me to stop or if she pulled my hand away. I believe that in a healthy romantic relationship we should get each other's permission first before touching each other. It's my body and she should ask for permission before touching me. No she is not welcome to touch me at anytime because it's my body. I should not be welcome to touch her anytime either because it's her body. She can decide when I will and will not touch her.
Author james007 Posted September 1, 2006 Author Posted September 1, 2006 Ok, here is what you do. It takes some will power but the rewards are fantastic. Next time you are getting service from her, regardless of what it is, stop her before you finish. Just say, 'Hey, you know what? I'm just not into it right now. Maybe later.' You can then ask if you can do something to get her off. She won't know how to interpret you not wanting to finish. This puts all the power in your court and forever on she will do everything in her power to please you because now you put doubt in her mind. She will always be insecure on pleasing a man and will always try to prove to herself that she can. BELIEVE ME I'm glad somebody on this board confirms and agrees with what I was thinking to do next time I see her and she initiates sexual contact. Thanks.
DarkShadows Posted September 1, 2006 Posted September 1, 2006 Umm, yeah. If you pull her hand away you're basically telling her to **** off. Unless you both are in the heat of the moment and playng/teasing each other. You rejected her. You can't be upset at her if you were the one brushing her off, whether she knows you were just playing games or not. Maybe you should try letting her know you want to play and tease each other, instead of expecting her to read your mind...?
DarkShadows Posted September 1, 2006 Posted September 1, 2006 Ok, here is what you do. It takes some will power but the rewards are fantastic. Next time you are getting service from her, regardless of what it is, stop her before you finish. Just say, 'Hey, you know what? I'm just not into it right now. Maybe later.' You can then ask if you can do something to get her off. She won't know how to interpret you not wanting to finish. This puts all the power in your court and forever on she will do everything in her power to please you because now you put doubt in her mind. She will always be insecure on pleasing a man and will always try to prove to herself that she can. BELIEVE ME Dude, that is so beyond fk'd up! You can't do that to a woman. Wth? Stop playng games and just have sex.
DarkShadows Posted September 1, 2006 Posted September 1, 2006 What is so jerky about not letting her touch my crotch? This was a test to see her interest level in me and she failed. She's not into me. You have major insecurity issues. You brushed her off... Your fault, not hers.
DarkShadows Posted September 1, 2006 Posted September 1, 2006 Men and women are different. When a woman says no to sex she means no. When a man says no then he might mean yes but he's just playing hard to get. I mean think about it. No I would not pressure her if she said no. I'm asking the women here who are really into their boyfriends. If your boyfriend pulled your hand away from his crotch would you try to talk him into letting you give him a hand job or would you give up easily and assume he doesn't want it?? Generally my boyfriend says *I am not in the mood or I am not feeling good at the moment.* So I don't pressure it. I leave it at that. But if he took my hand away and I went to reach again, and again he took it away without saying anything I would take that as "I'm not in the mood." As would anyone else. Being man or woman.
DarkShadows Posted September 1, 2006 Posted September 1, 2006 During our short phone conversation this morning she claims she didn't understand why I didn't want to be touched last night. What I don't understand is how she can say she's not in the mood for sex one minute and then a few hours later start getting sexual with me. I thought she wasn't in the mood! Umm are you always in the mood? Just like guys, girls could not be in the mood this second but the thought of her man wanting sex could put her in the mood an hour later. Guys are the same way. If I ask my boyfriend *Hey lets have sex!* he sometimes says *later* and 3 hours later he is ready to go... You can't expect everyone to go "Ok I'm horny now because you are!" Does not work that way.
The slayer Posted September 1, 2006 Posted September 1, 2006 Ok, here is what you do. It takes some will power but the rewards are fantastic. Next time you are getting service from her, regardless of what it is, stop her before you finish. Just say, 'Hey, you know what? I'm just not into it right now. Maybe later.' You can then ask if you can do something to get her off. She won't know how to interpret you not wanting to finish. This puts all the power in your court and forever on she will do everything in her power to please you because now you put doubt in her mind. She will always be insecure on pleasing a man and will always try to prove to herself that she can. BELIEVE ME I really wanted to ignore this, however I just have to say that I hope any of you who think this is a good idea or in any way the right way to treat your girlfriend are ready to apologise to the guy your girlfriend ends up with when she finally summons up to courage to dump you, after she ****s him over in the divorce and never lets him see his kids for no other reason than she views all men to behave the way you did. Come on people treat your partners the way you want to be treated yourself and if you don't get what you need move on.
DarkShadows Posted September 1, 2006 Posted September 1, 2006 I read alot of relationship guides on LS, articles, commentaries and stuff. But it just so happens this test I came up with was my idea through critical thinking and brainstorming. I'm learning how to be a challenge in the relationship by not calling everyday let alone several times per day, not initiating sex all the time, not buying gifts every month or at the same intervals but only on special occasions, waiting 1-2 days to return any calls I missed from her, etc. Err.. 1. You are a horrible boyfriend. 2. You aren't in high school anymore. Grow up.
DarkShadows Posted September 1, 2006 Posted September 1, 2006 Well she called last night as she promised and we did talk things out. I just said I wasn't feeling well as to the reason I didn't let her touch me. Now that was the truth. I was not feeling well emotionally. I was too upset to let her touch me. I just didn't go into specifics about how I was not feeling well. She doesn't know that I was upset. One thing I've learned is to play it cool and never let a woman see me upset. Anyway I asked her if I could take a raincheck on this handjob business. She says maybe she will give me one next time. I'm still going to let her initiate the sexual moves. Only this time I'll reciprocate and not pull away. I'm not going to call her again until Saturday at the earliest. If I feel strong enough not to call her then it will be later than Saturday. I will only call her when I'm weak and missing her terribly. I'll probably call her Saturday anyway to confirm dating plans for labor day which is next Monday. I'll keep the phone conversation short and get off the phone. Dude wth is your problem? Major issues here.. with yourself.
DarkShadows Posted September 1, 2006 Posted September 1, 2006 Yes I was getting the attention before but I wasn't sure how long it was going to last. I'm keeping watch of her interest level and doing everything I can to make sure it doesn't drop below 60%. Well this game you're playing now is going to make her interest in you drop extremely low.
littlepiggy1 Posted September 1, 2006 Posted September 1, 2006 A little late chiming in this thread, but I feel it needs to be said (again). To the OP: You need to grow up and stop playing these juvenile games with your g/f. She wanted to jerk you off, and instead you were the jerk off. Either grow up, stop playing games, and start learning how to function in a relationship, or be prepared to have your ass dumped.
rainfall Posted September 1, 2006 Posted September 1, 2006 What is so jerky about not letting her touch my crotch? This was a test to see her interest level in me and she failed. She's not into me. You said yourself she tried to but you pushed her hand away. Her giving up easily doesn't mean she is not into you. It means you pushed her hand away and she just didn't feel like trying again. I'm asking the women here who are really into their boyfriends. If your boyfriend pulled your hand away from his crotch would you try to talk him into letting you give him a hand job or would you give up easily and assume he doesn't want it?? I'd probably assume he meant no and give up (yes sometimes even guys aren't in the mood). Trying to talk him into it does no good. If he isn't in the mood no big deal I'll "try again" another time. Before you ask, Yes I am very into my boyfriend and have been for the past 6 years. Either break up with your girlfriend or grow up and stop playing games.
virtualkat Posted September 1, 2006 Posted September 1, 2006 when your girlfriend asks you if you want to have a baby, and you say no, wouldn't it be awesome if she got pregnant anyways! just to show you how much she loves you!! good god man - love is not shown through disregard, it's shown through listening and respecting. how is it possible that you were born in 1980? i was fully expecting to see a number in the 90's - you're not a child, this is ridiculous.
Author james007 Posted September 1, 2006 Author Posted September 1, 2006 Well my suspicions about alot of LS posters have been confirmed. Now I have more reasons not to trust the majority of people on here. I believe the majority are all fools on the same side. There are only 3 people I really trust here because I know they have good intentions.
Author james007 Posted September 1, 2006 Author Posted September 1, 2006 I personally have no desire to grow up to anyone's standards here of how I should act at my age. I don't have to justify my lifestyle choices to a bunch of faceless strangers. I really don't see what is childish about me not letting my girlfriend give me a handjob. Do I or don't I have the right to turn down her offer of a hand job? Isn't it my body? Don't I have the right to pull her hand away from me if I don't want her touching me? Apparently not. That's what I get out of the majority of the posts. I have no desire to break up with my girlfriend. I don't have to be willing to accept a hand job in order to continue the relationship.
a4a Posted September 1, 2006 Posted September 1, 2006 Well my suspicions about alot of LS posters have been confirmed. Now I have more reasons not to trust the majority of people on here. I believe the majority are all fools on the same side. There are only 3 people I really trust here because I know they have good intentions. awwww.... thank you for trusting me but others do have good advice here too.
Author james007 Posted September 1, 2006 Author Posted September 1, 2006 The 3 posters I'm talking about know who they are. I've already sent them PM messages thanking them for their contributions. You are not one of them.
littlepiggy1 Posted September 1, 2006 Posted September 1, 2006 I personally have no desire to grow up to anyone's standards here of how I should act at my age. I don't have to justify my lifestyle choices to a bunch of faceless strangers. I really don't see what is childish about me not letting my girlfriend give me a handjob. Do I or don't I have the right to turn down her offer of a hand job? Isn't it my body? Don't I have the right to pull her hand away from me if I don't want her touching me? Apparently not. That's what I get out of the majority of the posts. I have no desire to break up with my girlfriend. I don't have to be willing to accept a hand job in order to continue the relationship. You really missed the point didn't you? It's not that you turned down a handjob. It's that you turned down a handjob as a childish way of "testing" her! And then you claimed that "test has proven that she's just not into me" and that you're "pissed at her". Sorry you didn't get the response you wanted, but based on what you've written, you got the response you deserved.
Yamaha Posted September 1, 2006 Posted September 1, 2006 I guess the main reason you pulled her hand away was because it showed up to white in the moonlight.
burning 4 revenge Posted September 1, 2006 Posted September 1, 2006 James double O seven, I notice you have many of the smooth and debonaire characteristics that gave your name it's reputation
Walk Posted September 1, 2006 Posted September 1, 2006 Strangely enough, it was that John1776 character who used to say "If her level of interest drops below 60%". And here this guy says it too! What book did you all read that in?? Very interesting. How do you mathematically figure that percentage out? Today his interest levels are at 79%. Relationship Medium is 82.5% and Mean is 81.98%. I suspect I've had this pulled on me in the past. Although i was terrible fond of the guy, I utterly lost respect for him. It was juvenile. To insist that I force myself sexually on him when he had stated he wasn't interested. Yet he would withdraw in hurt if I rejected his sexual advance. But he felt I didn't "love him" if I withdrew in hurt. Hypocrite. James: You feel deeply inadequate, don't you? I mean, like beyond just a little insecure. But deep down like you really aren't worth anything. That's why you play these games. To make yourself feel like you are someone. Its about manipulation, domination and control. You want those. Bad. Don't you?
rainfall Posted September 1, 2006 Posted September 1, 2006 I really don't see what is childish about me not letting my girlfriend give me a handjob. Do I or don't I have the right to turn down her offer of a hand job? Isn't it my body? Don't I have the right to pull her hand away from me if I don't want her touching me? Apparently not. That's what I get out of the majority of the posts. I have no desire to break up with my girlfriend. I don't have to be willing to accept a hand job in order to continue the relationship. You have every right to tell her you don't want her to touch you. However you don't have any right to say that because she didn't demand that you let her give you a hand job or beg you to be able to give you one that she doesn't care about you.
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