Guest Posted August 29, 2006 Posted August 29, 2006 I was in a relationship with a woman and I, unfortunately was the other man. We had had a sexual relationship years ago that lasted just a short while. Within the past few months we had started occassionaly seeing each other and though no sex was involved there was plenty of good ole teenybopper style makin out. I've been pleading my case to her that we're cheating but she feels that it's not cheating, and that she basically doesn't want to throw her life away by confessing about our smooch fest. I've always been of the belief that cheating consisted of doing anything romantic with someone other than your partner i.e. kissing, sex, even hand holding. Pretty much anything that you'd only do with your partner. I'd like to know if I'm way out of line for my beliefs or if I'm just old fashioned or what. So what defines cheating?
MickieJ Posted August 30, 2006 Posted August 30, 2006 Having been on the side of being cheated on, I firmly agree that any sexual play...and heavy making-out would qualify would be cheating. Hand holding, secret meetings, even internet sexual conversations come under the heading of cheating. Anytime one's heart is being diverted to another direction...it is a walk on the wild side. What are you hoping for by pleading your case of cheating? It sounds like to me she wants her cake....and eat it too. Your beliefs sound very traditional...but if you are one half of the cheating...you need to examine your role.
skeletonindacloset Posted August 30, 2006 Posted August 30, 2006 What I'm hoping for is to be able to do the one thing I've been afraid of forever, trust her. I don't want to believe she's some evil person who says what she says to get what she wants and doesn't care who gets hurt. I just believe she's in a horrible situation. But the bottom line here is that I feel horrible for what I was a part of and have felt that way forever, I have just been so wrapped up in being in love that I can't see straight and have no idea what to do and so I want to get back to things that are real, like truth, whether it's good or bad. Everything inside of me wants to do absolutely everything in my power to help her live a happier life, whether it's my place or not. Call me self destructive. I grew up in a family that talked their problems out and were honest with each other on topics where we would have much rather lied, but we didn't. Her family's honesty kept them fighting one way or another almost all the time. This is a quality that drew us closer and before we became lovers we would talk about how when we have families of our own we want to share the same honesty with them that we shared growing up. There may be a lot crying and anger involved but we'd always know where everyone was coming from. She's raising her family just the opposite. Everything is hidden and nothing is talked about. I simply want my love to be happy, whether I'm her love or not, I want her to be happy but I refuse to let it be a lie. They've had problems before with cheating on each other and they've talked about it and now they're buying a house. I want to know why it is that telling him about her cheating would be so bad. He took it before, and this last time wasn't nearly as bad as the first time so I guess I believe that these are secrets just don't hold the weight that the other ones did and I'm not saying they'd be easier to take, but who knows, maybe they would. If ya go to a gym and start out lifting 80lbs weights, and your successful at it, then why is it that you can't lift a 10lb weight. Does this make any sense. Am I absolutely jacked up in the skull? Cuz if I am I'd like to know.
Recommended Posts