simon_uk Posted August 29, 2006 Posted August 29, 2006 Anyway, today is my first day back in work. I had left my PDA at work since last Monday. Anyway I had been using it for a phone when my phone was flat last week. There are still lots of messages on there from her from Sunday before we broke up. Most of them say the same thing. She is scared S She thinks she knows what she wants eventually but she is scared She wants to take things slow She enjoys being with me She hasnt changed her mind about us, she just confuses herself And on and on Then on Tuesday she has had time to think and it is over! You know what? I was scared too. I was scared we were moving too fast and I was scared of it going pear shaped, but you just have to get on with it if you want to be happy. Just have faith. Now I dont know what to do. I want to hear from her so bad but she obviously doesnt want to contact me. It hurts so so much. she was the best thing that ever happened to me. Simon
Guest Posted August 29, 2006 Posted August 29, 2006 Hi Simon, i know exactly how you feel, i have been in a similar situation, tho quite different, im gay, yes hope that dont freak you out, specially seeing as you have the ole village on your doorstep :-), but on a more serious note, i met this guy online, chatted for ages, went to meet him, and yes he was the best thing that ever happened to me, but for reasons ill never know he broke contact with me shortly after coming home,and im still devastated about the whole thing 7 months later, some people willsay to use No Contact as a way of trying to get them back, but i say no to that, do what you think you should do, should you want to get back with her, text her or something sayign u miss her etc and tha she was the best thing that ever happened to you, but then some people can be cold hearted and cruel and will not reply, must be something in the air in manchester about being afraid to commit or something,cus this guy was a manc, i dont know, do what you think you should do.
Author simon_uk Posted August 30, 2006 Author Posted August 30, 2006 hi Thanks for your message. It doesnt bother me one bit if you are gay? We are all the same, we all have love, feelings and emotions. Yes you are right I do have the old village on my doorstep, in fact this week was the gay mardi gras. Anyway, in response to your question. I dont know what I would suggest. One thing I definitely wont be doing and I would advise you the same is not to contact. I know it is very very hard not to when you care so deeply but does he care so deeply for you that he is contacting you? No. I have been on the receiving end of a breakup before and what did I do? Well I contacted her, over and over again and what happened? She ran faster and faster away. I pushed her so far that she said she was having panic attacks. She even changed her phone number. Now would you want that? It does nothing for your pride and self esteem I can tell you and the end result is still the same. She didnt come back. To be honest I dont really expect this one to come back anymore but I can say that I havent lost my pride and humiliated myself like I did last time and thats got to be a good thing? People say there is no pride in love and I agree to that to some degree but it should be the dumper swallowing their pride not the dumpee. Just something to think about. I dont know what is wrong with some people I really dont, I dont know how you can go from being happy 'in love' one minute to leaving the person you supposedly love the next minute. But you know what it is their problem. It is something they will have to deal with themselves. Me telling her how much I love her and want her will do no good if she doesnt love and want me, so I have to accept that it is over. And so will you and if some miracle brings them back, no I will change that statement because it wont be a miracle at all. If some sense gets into their heads that you know maybe I do love this person, maybe I have made a terrible mistake then you know that they are coming back because they want to, not because you guilt tripped them into it. All sounds very positive on my side of things but believe me, I am hurting like crazy. I cannot think of anything else other than her, cant sleep properly, cant eat properly. Feel sick to my stomach from smoking constantly. But at least she doesnt know that. If she comes back she comes back and if she doesnt **** her, she obviously isnt worth my love and she has lost the best thing that is ever likely to happen to her. Same with your fella. He may never get somebody who loves him like you do again. But does that matter. Question. Is it better to be with somebody who loves you more than anything in the world or be with somebody you love more than anything in the world? Ideally you want that love to run both ways. If it doesnt can it ever really work? Take Care and Dont Contact him. Simon
Winfield Posted August 30, 2006 Posted August 30, 2006 You know what? I was scared too. I was scared we were moving too fast and I was scared of it going pear shaped, but you just have to get on with it if you want to be happy. Just have faith. If something's going to work out, it'll work out - no matter what. When your right woman comes along, you won't have to worry about this sort of thing. Ideally you want that love to run both ways. Correct - it has to. If she comes back she comes back and if she doesnt **** her, she obviously isnt worth my love and she has lost the best thing that is ever likely to happen to her. Correct again - she's had her chance and blown it. Even if she did come back, she'd need to work really hard at re-gaining your trust...but ask yourself, would you really be 100% comfortable if she did come back? I mean, she left you once, and she could do it all over again if given the chance... To be honest I dont really expect this one to come back anymore but I can say that I havent lost my pride and humiliated myself like I did last time and thats got to be a good thing? Me telling her how much I love her and want her will do no good if she doesnt love and want me, so I have to accept that it is over. In response to both quotes above - see? You live and learn! Whatever you do though, don't put your dating life on hold expecting her to come back. Her loss, once you start dating again, will be another woman's gain...and, for you, that can only be a good thing!
Guest Posted August 30, 2006 Posted August 30, 2006 Hey simon, i know exactly what you mean, i too cant eat properly, sleep, smoking like mad, restless, i just want to shout at times, i just wish i had him face to face and say why the **** you do this to me? the only thing i done wrong was like you and your just going to ignore me after getting on fantastic for months? EXPLAIN YOURSELF.i get so many different emotion its unreal, mainly down and depressed, then angry at him for what he done, but more so CONFUSED.i mean what do these people be thinking? why the **** get so involved with someone only to tear their heart apart ? i could never do what he done,NEVER, but at the end of the day they will suffer for what they done, some day its goign to hit them hard, its bound to, if it had so much impact on us, it just CANT go unnoticed with them, and i hope to god it hurts him bad some day and im sure it will hurt her. I guess your right with the whole no contact thing, i gave up texting,emailing him shortly after we broke contact because he wouldnt reply, bewilders me beyond belief, wehad so much planned, he was gonna cum visit me in ireland etc, gave me the usual luv u bull****, tho i respect you because you didnt let her know how much it hurt you which was the best way, unlike me i begged with him not to go,tried to change what he was saying,and the cheek of him 2, to just block me on msn after me going all the way to england to see him,plus im not out and my mum nearly had heart failure when i told her i was going, but it was all worthless in the end, and i feel sorry for you to be on the recieving end for the 2nd time, i couldnt bear goign through the same thing a 2nd time,it would kill me. What can people like us actually do to get over these things, we just have to hear the usual "you need time" "you deserve better" etc, im sick to death of hearing it, if only there was something that could be done to let them know how much were hurting whilst they go about their merry little lives not casting a 2nd thought..or are they ?..
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