kaeferman Posted August 29, 2006 Posted August 29, 2006 Hello, thank you for taking your time to read this. I have written a few posts here a couple months ago about me and my girlfriend having problems, I am sure I didnt read all the replies carefully because we are having problems once again. Well, the problem is that she cheated on me in the past and I could never get over that. Instead of breaking up I cheated on her and decided this was the best way to go. I didnt have the balls to cut the relationship. Now, after 3 years, I found out she cheated on me again with one of her close friends, not really that important I suppose, I mean I am almost sure there was no sex involved (but could have been also?). This time it was really weird for me to find this out, because it happened only a couple days after my birthday, when she behaved beautifully. She came to my place and woke me up with a wonderful breakfast that took her 4 hours to prepare and wrote me a very explicit letter where she was telling me how happy she was of how things were working out between us. Yeah, she said she loved me and wanted to continue with our relationship for good. After our last break-up I decided I had to change this relationship if I wanted it to work out and decided to do some things differently. Apparently she was not comfortable with this and kept asking me why I didnt show her any feelings. I mean, she was really feeling bad about this. But I wouldnt change my position. I was very happy with this new change until she changed something. I started feeling she wanted to get my attention by doing things I hate. I am a jealous guy (of course she knows this) and she would ocassionally tell me things that would make me mad. Well, let me make this shorter because I am trying to get to another point here. I went to her place last Saturday and asked her about what happened with this guy. Of course she denied everything but in the end she accepted it. Then I told her "OK, this is it then", discussed a while with her and left. We havent spoken since then. I am really trying not to fall again into this girl (I hate this feeling!!) because there is something in me that knows we will see each other again. Hey, we broke-up at least 4 times in the last 3 years... And the story always goes on and on. I know I love her but I need to show some self-respect!! She in very insecure of herself and I am thinking this thing of flirting with another guys may be only to raise her ego. I cant tolerate that... I know... Anyway, this is my situation today. But I need some advice on this other girl who is supposed to be my friend (we know each other since kindergarten). I have been seeing her since my last break-up with my ex. We started going out for dinner, watch movies, etc. But I never made THE move. Actually the first few times we went out (twice that first weekend!) I didnt even think she would be interested in me (she was one of those hot chicks in school). After talking with some friends they convinced me that she could be in fact interested in me. Yeah, I am kind of slow figuring these kind of things out. Well, then I went back with my girlfriend and I kind of "cooled things down" with her. I still had interest in her though and it made my girlfriend jealous that I was seeing her so this was good for me (yeah, all this crap ended now). I dont know if I didnt make the move because I still was with my GF or because I was afraid of being rejected. I didnt tell her I was back with my GF but she found out after a while (one of our mutual friends told her). She was surprised to hear this. Even funnier is that she was also dating somebody (nothing serious) and I found out because of our mutual friend too. She has been sending some signals that could be positive but like I said I am slow understanding them. I really dont want to mess this up. Last friday for example we were in a bar with a couple friends and I was talking to this friend of mine and telling how bored I was with my girlfried, she heard this and told me behind my back how she was feeling the same way with this guy she is dating... She also told me a couple times how she really likes my attitudes and how "secure" I look in life. She keeps making compliments about the way I dress and my parfumes... Yeah, this makes one feel good but how can I be sure I am not confussing friendship for something else? I am not with my GF anymore and ready to make the move... but I am finding it hard to do!! Please I need suggestions.... I can answer any questions you may have if it helps... Thank you!!
Poboy Posted August 29, 2006 Posted August 29, 2006 if you like this girl , make the move ? whats stopping you since you are no longer with your gf ... risk of loosing her is there , but you will never know unless you ask ... your call
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