prncssfce9 Posted August 29, 2006 Share Posted August 29, 2006 Ok ... so this might all sound stupid but i have this friend and I think that I am developing feelings for him, but i'm sure. I have known him for about 2 years and we have been pretty good friends. We laugh a lot of the time b/c we are so much alike, in almost everyway! Lately when we have been hanging out i have found myself looking at him a little too long and smiling at him a lot more. I've been calling him a lot and getting a little bummber out when he can;t talk. But i'm not sure if this is "feelings" for him or just feelings of lonliness. I did just break up with my boyfriend of nearly 4 years and I have been feeling pretty lonely. But at the same time even before i broke up with said bf i had a connection with this friend. like i said we have SO much in common and i can talk to him for hours. we have intelligent conversations and we laugh and have fun. I'm not sure what i ma feeling and I'm not sure what i should do ... any advice? Link to post Share on other sites
Author prncssfce9 Posted September 6, 2006 Author Share Posted September 6, 2006 anyone got any advice for me? before i do or say something stupid Link to post Share on other sites
nice1_hurting Posted September 6, 2006 Share Posted September 6, 2006 A little piece of advice.. Not to pigeon hole you, but you are on the rebound so to speak, right? I would continue doing what you are doing.. Enjoy eachother, have fun.. It's good to have someone like that in your life and sometimes taking it to the next level might be detrimental once the dust settles. On the other side of things, perhaps in time you will find that you do want to express some real feelings to him. At which point I would say go for it. The reason I would suggest waiting is that you "just" broke up with a long term boyfriend. You are a bit vulnerable right now and if things went bad with this guy, it might get really upsetting. So.. I would wait a while and then when you are bit more settled in being single, see if you still feel the same way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author prncssfce9 Posted September 6, 2006 Author Share Posted September 6, 2006 Thanks .... and yes you are right. i would be considered by most to be "on the rebound". I see what you are saying and that is exactly what i was worried about. But i'm just wondering if these are new feelings or developin feelings .. i'm just confused. Link to post Share on other sites
nice1_hurting Posted September 6, 2006 Share Posted September 6, 2006 I think that being confused is all the more reason to be patient. Things tend to have a way of becoming clearer over time (man I with I could have given myself this advice about two months ago lol). If he is into you and you are into him, a little more time spent as friends probably won't hurt. Who knows, you might realize that these feelings aren't as deep.. And you might fall in love. Time will tell. Link to post Share on other sites
Author prncssfce9 Posted September 6, 2006 Author Share Posted September 6, 2006 hahah isn't it funny when you give advice you wouldn't do yourself ... i do it all the time. the thing is that i have no idea if he has any feelings for me at all ... nor do i know the nature of my own feelings. i KNOW that i should wait and see what happens but you know sometimes you do things you know you shouldn't so i guess the question now is ... how do i not do something stupid? Link to post Share on other sites
nice1_hurting Posted September 6, 2006 Share Posted September 6, 2006 Well.. Advice can be a dangerous thing, but it can also give you perspective. I will repeat that there is a possibility that the outcome of telling this guy you dig him might not be the one you want. In that case, you might get pretty down. So as a protective measure I think that you should remind yourself that you should to be fully over your past relationship before you try and start another. If you are over your ex and you think you could take it either way. Why not go for it.. But if you think you might still be a bit 'fragile'.. You might want to heal up a bit first. Link to post Share on other sites
Author prncssfce9 Posted September 6, 2006 Author Share Posted September 6, 2006 what if i just told him that i THOUGHT i was developing feelings for him. if i was totally up front and said i was confused about my feelings? b/c i would hate to be playfully flirty and end up leading him on ... in the event that these feelings DON"T pan out Link to post Share on other sites
amplified Posted September 6, 2006 Share Posted September 6, 2006 Be straight up with the guy i'm currently in your situation except i'm the guy. I wish my friend would be straight up with me and tell me how shes feeling but at the same time remember not to rush anything the best relationships always evolve out of friendships. Link to post Share on other sites
Author prncssfce9 Posted September 6, 2006 Author Share Posted September 6, 2006 But what if he has ZERO feelings for me and Imake a complete ass of myself? I don't know that he has any feelings like I do ... and even though I'm unsure of my feelings I doubt i could handle yet another regection. I mean i've already lost a boyfriend and my best friend within a month. I couldn't handle losing the only person I still enjoy talking to. But at the same time if he DOES have feelings for me, and I ignore him I am afraid I will alienate him too. How can I tell if he has feelings for me too? Link to post Share on other sites
MsArtful Posted September 6, 2006 Share Posted September 6, 2006 As nice1hurting said, you need to wait a while before you start anything with your friend. He won't think you're alienating him, you just broke up from a long relationship and you need some time. Wait, and if after a few months you feel the same way, then you can try and scope out if he has feelings for you. Link to post Share on other sites
JCD Posted September 6, 2006 Share Posted September 6, 2006 I would remain good friends with him and let him make a move on you. If he hasn't made a move on you in the next, oh say, 5 months then he's not into you. My feeling is that he likes you Link to post Share on other sites
Author prncssfce9 Posted September 12, 2006 Author Share Posted September 12, 2006 I think i might have screwed things up ... sort of like i knew i would. hung out with this guy and a couple of our mutual friends. We were drinking and being silly and my friend got us playing true or dare poker ... anyway i got really drunk, and silly and was flriting. But i think that i might have gone too far, b/c the next morning we all went out to breakfast and he seemed really weird. I invited everyone over to my house to go to the pool and he totally bailed on me. SO now i feel like i have screwed things up, and that i acted stupid. I am planning on not calling him and waiting to see if he calls me or whatever. What do you all think i should do from here? Link to post Share on other sites
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