DawnMN73 Posted August 29, 2006 Posted August 29, 2006 Hello All Ok I just broke up with my boyfriend 2 weeks ago. See my post named "going out of my mind". We met on match.com 6 months ago. Could u believe that he's already back up on match.com. He went on only 4 days after i broke up with him. I don't understand this. How could a man do that? The sight of match.com turns my stomach never mind placing an ad up ready to meet someone else already. He just called me last week telling me that he loves me & wants to try to work things out, but of course, i couldn't, he's a cold fish. How could he get right back on match.com so soon? i don't get men sometimes. This is not what u do when u love someone!
swirly27 Posted August 29, 2006 Posted August 29, 2006 Dawn, I read your other post and I believe I responded to that one as well. He had alot of issues and he lacked alot of not only what you needed, but it seems what any other human being would need. SOOO, I doubt you ever would have been really happy with him. Remember that!!! Now, as to why he can go back on match.com, thats easy. He has alot of issues already, so who knows if he REALLY wants you back or just wants someone there....if he thinks its over with you, he's going to try and get right back out there maybe so someone else can fill the gap that you left, or is it possible he did this KNOWING you would see it. But it seems to me you realized that he wasn't giving you what you needed in a relationship, so don't just be this upset because now he seems to be moving on....that is the most wrong reason to ever want someone back, and I know because I have done it....we all have....but it only leads to more unhappiness. You deserve someone that will care about you aand support you and your values and dreams as you would him. :-)
tanbark813 Posted August 29, 2006 Posted August 29, 2006 Maybe he just went on to see if you went on which, apparently, you did.
Author DawnMN73 Posted August 29, 2006 Author Posted August 29, 2006 HI Swirly Yes u r so right. I would never be truly happy with him. I mean after 6 months of dating, i already knew he had issues & knew it wasn't what i wanted. I asked him last week when he called me about how he could go back on match.com only 4 days after we broke up. His response was the he's getting depressed & just can't be alone! Him going back on match.com doesn't upset me, cause I know & he knows that he will never find a girl like me, he always said that, i just don't get how he could go on so fast. But i guess that just proves the issues that he has. Tanbark - I didn't go back on match.com, i just did a search of his screen name to see if he went back on, & he was already back on, ad & all. I don't have an ad up again, u misunderstood.
Winfield Posted August 29, 2006 Posted August 29, 2006 Ah, the wonders of internet dating...not! Avoid this form of "dating" like the plague, because something so convenient must be evil... It just goes to prove that he doesn't / didn't love you (if he did, the chances are that you'd still be together)...and it also proves to you the type of guy he really is. Well done for sticking to your guns when he was doing the "we can work it out" speech - looking forward (and not back) is the way ahead! Words are easy - actions aren't so easy... Count yourself lucky it didn't last longer...otherwise the "news" you discovered may have been more crushing. Onwards and upwards!
serial muse Posted August 29, 2006 Posted August 29, 2006 i was going to get on here and post that maybe he went on match like that because he's really hurting - it doesn't mean he's going to jump right back into dating or a relationship. i've been there; after a particularly painful breakup a while back i turned on my profile for about two days and cried the whole time. i didn't date anyone. just freaked out for a little while. then i turned it off again for months. i don't know why i did it; i was just hurting i guess. happens. but, um...then i went back and read your other post about this guy, and tony t is right - he's got issues with hair on them. so, seriously...i dunno. all i can say is, you're definitely better off.
burning 4 revenge Posted August 29, 2006 Posted August 29, 2006 Him going back on match.com doesn't upset me, cause I know & he knows that he will never find a girl like me, he always said that, i just don't get how he could go on so fast. Holy egomaniac Batman!
Guest Posted August 29, 2006 Posted August 29, 2006 You said that you did break up with him right? Maybe he was just doing because he's trying to move on? I know that I did.
agoraphobia Posted August 29, 2006 Posted August 29, 2006 He has issues that's the bottom line. I dated someone like that too, I met him online, even before we broke up, he was back on the same site looking for others and he is still on that website with an active profile 3 months after the fact. There are men and women like that called serial daters. They are the creepy ones who give online dating a bad name. For my ex, it is the thrill of meeting someone new that drives him, as soon as he gets to know a woman for a while, she becomes old and familiar and he needs to move on to someone new to get his "high" And get this, ALL the women he's ever dated in his adult life, he's met online. Red flag anyone? ofcourse, I didn't know this until after I dated him. He is lacking in major social skills and he hides behind the computer screen. Comes off as a nice guy who is looking for a serious relationship....yeah right!. He cannot ask out a woman in real life because he is a social retard and they probably won't pay him any mind so he has to go and charm them over the internet, pretending to be someone he's not.
Rubber_Chicken Posted August 29, 2006 Posted August 29, 2006 Why is getting back online on a webpage a bad thing if you are broken up ? Would you rather the guy sit at home and build a shrine to you instead ? You guys broke up , when that happens anything is fair game, No Rules. An earlier poster said that that person is a serial dater and give online dating a bad name, I disagree. I also disagree with the fact that posters are saying that he has issues, They don't him, All he did was get back on the horse that threw him, which is the same exact advice that he would get if he had posted here about your breakup Why would someone moving on with their life be a bad thing ?????
swirly27 Posted August 29, 2006 Posted August 29, 2006 Rubber, if you read her other post that she mentioned, the guy definitely has issues. But I agree, if she broke up with him, then whatever he does now shouldn't matter. Thats easier said than done though - it seems like she really cares about him but he wasn't giving her anything she needed, so its still hard to end something with someone when you do care - but he is going to do whatever he needs to do to get back out there though. We all write here to post how we feel, so don't be ashamed of how you feel Dawn - but u did end it and I think you know its for the best, so try not to dwell on what he's doing now.
serial muse Posted August 29, 2006 Posted August 29, 2006 what swirly said. seriously, rubber_chicken, read the other post to get the whole story. like i said before, i don't think that the fact that he's back online can be interpreted to mean anything in particular, because it could mean a whole host of things. so i wouldn't read too much into it. but this guy clearly wasn't the right guy for the OP, so i agree with swirly that she should just try not to focus on what he's up to now.
alphamale Posted August 29, 2006 Posted August 29, 2006 Let me get this straight...YOU BROKE UP WITH HIM AND NOW YOU'RE PISSED THAT HE'S ON MATCH.COM AFTER 4 DAYS? Maybe you should have your head examined.
swirly27 Posted August 29, 2006 Posted August 29, 2006 Alpha, did u read her other post first? Even though yes she did end it with him, it wasn't because she didn't care....no need to be so harsh, geez
Author DawnMN73 Posted August 29, 2006 Author Posted August 29, 2006 Hello guys Agor - yes he only meets girls from online. Maybe we dated the same guy! He too couldn't ask a girl out in person, like your ex. Rubber - Yes please read my first post 'losing my mind'. I am not pissed that he went back on match.com. I just can't understand how a man could do that 4 days after telling me he loves me & wants to work things out. How do u date someone for 6 months & then break up & just 4 days later get back on match.com? I can't even look at the sight, it makes me sick. Swirly - thanks u r sweet. Yes just because i broke up with him doesn't mean that i didn't care about him, u r right. He wasn't giving me what i needed in the relationship & i had to let him go. Yes i do care alot for him, & its hard to let go of that. But i know when something isn't right & i just can't hold on when i know its not right.
luvtoto Posted August 29, 2006 Posted August 29, 2006 Some people just can not be alone for any stretch of time. I know a man who's wife died suddenly. The day she died I heard him telling people, "Ah man, now what. There are no good people to date in [our hometown]." I truly believe he loved his wife...just scared to death to be alone. I wouldn't take his actions as an insult to you personally. I would just realize that he is a weak person, and you deserve better.
Author DawnMN73 Posted August 29, 2006 Author Posted August 29, 2006 Yes Luv i believe u r right! I even asked him how he could go back on match.com 4 days after we break up & he said that he just can't be alone! He admitted that to me. I guess u r correct, he is a weak person & just needs to have someone, anyone there! That is pretty sad if u ask me. Yes i think i deserve better! I guess i won't take his actions personally!
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