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Posted

I met my husband when I was 17. He was my first boyfriend and my first intimate encounter. We were married young (I was 22 and he was 24), and have been married for almost 5 years now. A couple of yeas into the marriage I notcied that my husband was becoming more and more emotionally distant. We stopped having intellectual conversations and started fighting more.

 

We rarely communicated more than the standard "how was work today?", and rarely went out as a couple without a group of friends. I also noticed that my attratcion towards my husband was diminishing. I craved an emotional and physical connection and went looking for someone who could give that to me. I met someone whith whom I fell deeply in love with, but that ended after a short time due to my reluctance to leave my husband. I was worried about what people would think. I never told my husband, but I confessed to my priest, repented and tried to fall back in love with my husband. The love was never really fully restored.

Almost a year ago I found out I was being laid off.

 

My husband and I made the decision to move out of state for affordability. We decided he would move out early to try to keep our medical benefits and I had to stay behind in California to finish up my job and the school semester. During the months we were apart I met new people, reconnected with my sister, and went out more. I found a new independence and a love for the single life (something I never had). I also met someone else who could give me everything (emotionally and physically) I was looking for.

 

I moved before anything could happen between us, but I wondered and still wonder what might have been had I not left. During these three months I had a lot of time for soul searching. I took a serious look inward and came to the realization that I was no longer in love with my husband nor was I attracted to him any longer.

 

I have been in the new place for almost 2 weeks and I am miserable. I miss my friends and my family. I am an emotional wreck and in utter termoil. I told my husband what I was feeling and he told me I could move back to California, but he would not join me; then he became upset when I told him I would consider moving back.

 

The question I have been asking myself is should I stay and try to fall back in love with my husband or should I leave and try to find someone who makes me happy on all levels?

Posted

Kids? If no kids, what's the big deal. It was the 90's, your marrige vow's included: "To love and cherish until one of us decides not to" didn't they?

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