mpracing4 Posted August 28, 2006 Posted August 28, 2006 My girlfriend said she and her sister are going to go bar hopping for her sister's 23rd birthday. "Amy", my girlfriend is the same age as I, 20, and we've been dating for almost a year. I truly love this girl so much. To be able to understand my point of view I was raised in a Christian home all my life, we went to a Baptist Church, which pretty much condemns alcohol consumption of any kind. That has rubbed off on me, but the older i get the less I belieev in it, I drink a beer every now and then. This isn't a religious debate, it's just a detail that maybe useful. Anyways, like I said my GF wants to go bar hopping with her sister on her sister's birthday. She's not even legal to drink and they're going to go to a Titty Bar! Topless Girls, horny and drunk men looking for fun. I don't like bars, never have, probably never will. When I approch "Amy" about it, she gets very very defensive and says I'm insecure. Well, I am. I admit that. I just love this girl so much and have a right to be concerned. I know she isn't going to cheat on me, but I just can't really get over it. Do I even have a right to be concerned? Do I have a right to tell her how I feel with her not getting all upset? It's not that I don't want her to go, i just don't want her going to that type of bar. I'm just at a loss as to what to do. Just keep my mouth shut and let her do her own thing, or encourage her to go to a different bar? This isn't the first time she's went to a bar and I was upset. Help.
brickaney Posted August 28, 2006 Posted August 28, 2006 First off self-consciousness and neediness turns everyone off in a relationship. Secondly your girlfriend is in charge of her own life and the most loving thing you can do for her is support her. Before she leaves for the bar or any bar let her know, "I'm sorry for being so self-conscious. I love you and trust you and I hope you have fun tonight." Letting her know you trust her will make her feel attracted to you. Even if you don't necessarily, just act like you are and eventually you'll have to start believing it. There are no garuntees in any relationships. The best you can do for yourself is be positive and confident. Confidence attracts people so it will definitely attract your girlfriend. I suggest you spend more time with your guy friends and working on being more independant and confident. Go away for the weekend with just the guys. Have fun on your own and pretty soon she's going to get jealous of how good you feel and want to spend more time and be more considerate to your feelings about going to bars and drinking. Letting her know you trust her decisions will amke her trust your opinion and soon enough she'll be more likely not to go bar hopping. And if worst comes to worst and she cheats on you then she has problems you don't need to deal with. Try not to worry about her and show her your trust her before your needy, self-conscious attitude turns her off from you.
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