mobius26 Posted August 28, 2006 Posted August 28, 2006 well it ihas been a month since she moved out. told me one night "we have grown apart" been married for 5 years. no children just a dog who is like our child. anyways she moved out said she didnt want to be with me anymore doesnt feel the same thought i was cheating on her... etc. about the cheating, i am in a graduate program and study alot. in a group sometimes. over 6 months ago the day after a test i get a text message from a friend that "it is over!" i didnt think anything of it... of course it was about the test wife was with me and asked what it meant... i said well must have been test yesterday and that was the last i heard of it... enter last month apparently for 6 months she figured i had cheated on her and the girl called it off. she never qiestioned me anymore or asked if i was before she said she was leaving. very sad, i still cant believe she left, other reasons include i dont support her enough i make her feel stupid. she needs to get on her own and decide what she wants... we talk a couple times a week and i try to talk about us but seems as if she is uninterested or it is to soon not really sure what. seems as if she just wants to be friends, i dont htink there is anyone else but not sure. my wife is everything to me and i thought i was expressing that to her but apparently i was doing a horrible job at it... i pace around thinking about her not knowing what to do, cant sleep or study grades are dropping, she seems to be fine with the current situation says she needs a few months to decide what she needs and wants. what should i do???
luvstarved Posted August 28, 2006 Posted August 28, 2006 Well if she is happy with the situation then there isn't much you can do but decide how you want to proceed. For me, I would try to talk myself out of "waiting" for her to decide. I know this is easier said than done, but as far as what I have read, heard and experienced, people do not generally just go off on their own and then think, what a fool I have been...unless they are seeing someone else. If there isn't someone else involved, and she knows that she can take her sweet time stringing you along because you'll "always be there", then guess what? This will probably continue until she DOES find someone else, so in all likelihood you are just waiting for the other shoe to drop, and it will. I would convey to her that you have hopes for a reconciliation and want nothing more than for the relationship to work out. However, I would also make it clear that she is risking any hope of this by taking these "months". In other words, remind her that while she does not know how she will feel in a few months, neither do you. And you are not going to keep your life on hold. In some cases, one partner simply takes the other for granted and sometimes that other partner truly is letting themselves be taken for granted and they end up getting taken advantage of. In the end, this is not a particularly attractive trait on either side. But I would never willingly wait for someone who has gone to find themselves. I would proceed as though she has moved on, and move on, too. If she comes back and reconciling feels right, go for it. But don't keep your life in idle meanwhile.
Author mobius26 Posted August 28, 2006 Author Posted August 28, 2006 you are right but it is easier said than done. i will talk to her this week and see what is going on... but she keeps stating she needs time...
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