Guest Posted August 27, 2006 Posted August 27, 2006 Hi everyone I am in this LDR for 2 years now. We met each other while travelling and have never actually lived together for longer then a month. Normally we see each other once a month for 4 or 5 days and longer during the holidays. In between our visits we phone almost every day. The first year I really missed him, every time we had to leave each other my heart broke. The second year was better, I think I just managed to supress my feelings and pretended he didn't exist when he wasn't there. When he was, things were great. This summer we have been travelling together for three weeks and got really close again. When i got back I knew things were different. We don't know if we can handle the distance anymore. You're never close to each other and your relationship doesn't really progress, you have a relationship on the phone! I think im seeing things so dark, because neither of us is willing to commit at this point (and for the next 2 years). At the same time we love each other a lot and it's really nice when we are together... Should we break up and stop fooling and hurting our selves with this relationship? We gave each other some time to think.... X Bette
sao2 Posted August 28, 2006 Posted August 28, 2006 These thoughts are natural and I can tell you that I have similar thoughts often. Basically we should quit now while we are ahead . . . There may come a point where you decide that this relationship should either become more or go away. This may be it, or it may not be. You say that neither of you is willing to commit for now, or for two years . . . Is this school or work related? Why the two years? If you guys have said that after two years we'll get to the same place then I say you can stick it out. I do think that maybe it's time you two talked about a plan to end distance part, or at least talk about having a plan. My gf and I don't have a plan but we agreed that in a year and a half we would either come up with a plan or move on with our lives. I congratulate you on making it this long, two years is a long time to be apart.
Ilovemango Posted August 30, 2006 Posted August 30, 2006 Thank you very much for your reply. I registered now. We are gonna be apart for two years because we're both studying in different places for another two years. I find it difficult to make a plan about what's gonna happen after two years. It's scary to make that kind of commitment, I'm only 21 and don't know if I would want to settle down two years from now. He's 25 and in a different stage in his life, he would want to settle down with me. But I dont know what I want... God it's so frustrating! X
sao2 Posted August 30, 2006 Posted August 30, 2006 What about settling down in 2 years scares you? Not that I'm suggesting that. Has he mentioned settling down in 2 years? If he has, or even if he hasn't he may be expecting that. After a certain point, long distance relationships, don't make sense if you don't see this person being the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. If you don't see him as the person you want to be with forever then perhaps you should move on. What I think may scare you is not so much settling down, but settling down on your terms or his terms. The other day I was imagining what if my gf and I just up and moved somewhere together, where both of us would be starting from scratch. It might be an interesting idea to think about. That way both of you are completely on even ground in the relationship. Don't constrain yourself to thinking being together means you moving to where he is or him moving to where you are. Hope this helps
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