Cliche23 Posted August 27, 2006 Posted August 27, 2006 Here is a questiong for men and woman who would like to voice their opinion concerning this topic. While in a relationship do men expect their woman to conform with the things they do without saying a word? Are woman expected to sit back and allow things to happen, always being there for their man no matter what he does? Just out of curiousity.
gemmab2020 Posted August 27, 2006 Posted August 27, 2006 I hope not!!!! If so then I fail miserably....
superconductor Posted August 27, 2006 Posted August 27, 2006 There was a time when things were simpler, when men were expected to support their husbands in pretty much anything they did. But those days are long, long gone, my friend. Whether that's good or bad depends on your viewpoint, I suppose, but the fact is that the modern woman has little or no time - or patience - for someone who doesn't measure up to their own (changing) standards.
blind_otter Posted August 27, 2006 Posted August 27, 2006 Here is a questiong for men and woman who would like to voice their opinion concerning this topic. While in a relationship do men expect their woman to conform with the things they do without saying a word? Are woman expected to sit back and allow things to happen, always being there for their man no matter what he does? Just out of curiousity. Nope. Even back in the "good old days" this didn't happen. At least according to my family tree. But I think that in days of yore women had different tools for maniuplating men or forcing their own issue, you just have to peer through the historical socio-cultural lens to see that.
stoopid_guy Posted August 27, 2006 Posted August 27, 2006 There was a time when things were simpler, when men were expected to support their husbands in pretty much anything they did. Freudian slip there, dude? While in a relationship do men expect their woman to conform with the things they do without saying a word? Realistically, that'd be an awfully boring lady.
Author Cliche23 Posted August 27, 2006 Author Posted August 27, 2006 Well I think that my boyfriend expects to me to conform with everything he does; And I just don't think that it's fair, I am human, I have feelings so why should I supress my feelings instead of expressing them. When I tell him something that he's done is bothering me he says that I am complaining which is not the case. He doesn't think the things he does is a big deal. I really try to keep my mouth shut, but it's so hard. Growing I have always kept my mouth shut which allowed so many to take advantage of me, but now as an adult I just can't do that. I get this feeling on the inside that just doesn't allow me to hold my feelings in. Besides my mom always told me if you don't know something ask. So what's the problem? My boyfriend is the type that expects you to always be forgiving, and always willing to give him love no matter what he does. That's not fair. Do you think it's possible for things to work if you conform or if you don't conform? What's your opinion?
superconductor Posted August 27, 2006 Posted August 27, 2006 Freudian slip there, dude? Ah, shat. I didn't get a chance to edit it in time...
stoopid_guy Posted August 27, 2006 Posted August 27, 2006 Well I think that my boyfriend expects to me to conform with everything he does; And I just don't think that it's fair, I am human, I have feelings so why should I supress my feelings instead of expressing them. When I tell him something that he's done is bothering me he says that I am complaining which is not the case. He doesn't think the things he does is a big deal. I really try to keep my mouth shut, but it's so hard. Growing I have always kept my mouth shut which allowed so many to take advantage of me, but now as an adult I just can't do that. I get this feeling on the inside that just doesn't allow me to hold my feelings in. Besides my mom always told me if you don't know something ask. So what's the problem? My boyfriend is the type that expects you to always be forgiving, and always willing to give him love no matter what he does. That's not fair. Do you think it's possible for things to work if you conform or if you don't conform? What's your opinion? He sounds like a jerk. Find someone you don't need to conform to, who likes you to be yourself and is willing to compromise or "agree to disagree" when you differ.
blind_otter Posted August 27, 2006 Posted August 27, 2006 Well I think that my boyfriend expects to me to conform with everything he does; And I just don't think that it's fair, I am human, I have feelings so why should I supress my feelings instead of expressing them. Do you mean he's controlling? That he wants to control your behavior, or that he gets pissy when you don't agree with him?
stoopid_guy Posted August 27, 2006 Posted August 27, 2006 Ah, shat. I didn't get a chance to edit it in time... Don't worry, even tough you wrote it, and even though it caught my eye, everyone knows we're still both "manly men."
Author Cliche23 Posted August 27, 2006 Author Posted August 27, 2006 No he is not controlling at all, he just makes it seem like I am always complaining when it's not the case at all. Basically he gets upset when I don't agree with things that he does. It's like he finds it so hard to understand my point.
superconductor Posted August 28, 2006 Posted August 28, 2006 It's like he finds it so hard to understand my point. Not surprising, and vey common. Men think with their heads. Women think with their hearts. One is not better than the other, they're just different. And, by the way, why does he have to understand your point? What are you doing to understand his?
Author Cliche23 Posted August 28, 2006 Author Posted August 28, 2006 Well that could be the problem, however it is hard for me to understand things like: Him using other females to get what he wants; leaving me at his house while he goes out coming in at 5 in the morning, etc. So what point should I understand? That's the point of me asking if guys expect females to conform with the things that they do.
blind_otter Posted August 28, 2006 Posted August 28, 2006 Well that could be the problem, however it is hard for me to understand things like: Him using other females to get what he wants; leaving me at his house while he goes out coming in at 5 in the morning, etc. So what point should I understand? That's the point of me asking if guys expect females to conform with the things that they do. Um, that's just generally a crappy way of treating a partner. not a serious relationship expectation. He is treating you badly. If you have told him this and he continues to disregard your needs and wishes, then you need to seriously reflect if this relationship is worth the work.
swirly27 Posted August 28, 2006 Posted August 28, 2006 Cliche- There is no right or wrong answer here. Yes, there are always going to be things that BOTH men and woman do that the other won't agree with or understand, that is normal. But the question is, the issues that you are bringing up with your man, how do they make you feel? If he is going out all the time and coming home at 5am and you have weird feelings about that, you have EVERY right to. It sounds to me like he wants to do what he wants and say/think whatever he wants with NO regards for how it makes you feel, and that is not healthy. If he talked about it with you and you guys disagree on some matters, that is one thing.....but to say everything you bring up is complaining, that is ridiculoud. Sounds like this is not the type of guy you should want to be with - at least just from the little bit you have shared.
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