Guest Posted August 27, 2006 Posted August 27, 2006 I am so confused and do not know what to believe. I recieved a phone call that said my husband is cheating on me. We are always together so I do not know when he would have time to have an affair. I am at a lose and do not know what to do, I do not want to be the foolish wife who keeps her head in the sand. I was told a year ago that he was seen with someone else, but he denied it and I believed him. I have not told him about the phone call yet, it is getting very hard to live like this. I love him why would he do this to me?
JadeStar Posted August 28, 2006 Posted August 28, 2006 I am so confused and do not know what to believe. I recieved a phone call that said my husband is cheating on me. We are always together so I do not know when he would have time to have an affair. I am at a lose and do not know what to do, I do not want to be the foolish wife who keeps her head in the sand. I was told a year ago that he was seen with someone else, but he denied it and I believed him. I have not told him about the phone call yet, it is getting very hard to live like this. I love him why would he do this to me? When you received this phone call, did you ask questions? Did you ask who it was that was calling or how they had this info? Other then this call, what does your gut instinct tell you? Do you see or notice anything odd going on with husband? I'm not sure why someone would call and tell you this, unless they were either just plain cruel,or they are letting you know whats really going on. Jade
Pink Amulet Posted August 28, 2006 Posted August 28, 2006 I am so so sorry to hear you are going through this pain My heart goes out to you... We are always together so I do not know when he would have time to have an affair. I was saddened to realise this is something that does not mean much it terms of affairs.... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=97469 I hope you eventually find your peace with what ever the outcome of this phone call... Don't give up on the pursuit to the truth. Dig deeper, and listen to your instincts.
Guest Posted August 28, 2006 Posted August 28, 2006 I did not ask any questions, probably because I was it total shock! Now I wish that person would call back, because I have a million to ask. I did not recognize the voice, but my gut is telling me it is the truth. Why else would some one go do this to me and my family? I have not confronted him yet, it is getting hard to just be in the same house. I am thinking about my options, of hiring some one to follow him. I am ashamed to talk to my family, but I know I have to at some point. This is really the worst feeling in the world. I just want to scream, have done a lot of crying when he is not around. He walked in the door after work with not a care in the world, how could he do this to us? Spent a lot of time today thinking about when it could be happening. He used to go out with friends after work but has not done that in a long time. He does work late hours, but not that late so I never was suspicious. Weekends are always spent with the family. Except for a rare Saturday when he had to work, unless he called out and I didn't know? I hardly ever called him when he was at work, dumb me! When you received this phone call, did you ask questions? Did you ask who it was that was calling or how they had this info? Other then this call, what does your gut instinct tell you? Do you see or notice anything odd going on with husband? I'm not sure why someone would call and tell you this, unless they were either just plain cruel,or they are letting you know whats really going on. Jade
whichwayisup Posted August 29, 2006 Posted August 29, 2006 Confront him and tell him about the call. Demand he come clean with you too. Then, find out WHY he cheated on you and figure out what you two want to do. Fix the problems, go to marriage counselling or separate. Are there kids involved? If so, maybe it is best to give him a chance to make things right with you...But, you need the info on this OW and what happened between them, how long they (were) are together etc... It is possible it was the OW herself calling, maybe hoping to break up the marriage. I don't know, but anything is possible. Anyway, the sooner you talk to your husband about this, the sooner you can deal with what's going on. Not knowing for sure is worse...
Guest Posted August 29, 2006 Posted August 29, 2006 Confront him and tell him about the call. Demand he come clean with you too. Not knowing for sure is worse... I am afraid to confront him. I am afraid I'll believe him if he is lying to me, and know he will never admit it to me. I will have to find out on my own, I do have to mention he is a big flirt and is always talking with women. But I always trusted him and now I am feeling like a real idiot. We have three children together and have been married for almost twenty years. I am not sure who made the call, maybe it was the woman I hope in a way that I never find out who it was. If it was her just knowing that she has our home phone number makes me ill. I had hoped to feel better or somehow get some strenght from reading these boards. But it's not helping. I browsed the OW forums and I want to vomit. But I will keep reading, maybe it will help to insulate me?
whichwayisup Posted August 29, 2006 Posted August 29, 2006 Then wait if you're not ready. Get a friend you trust to go with you and follow him. Install a keylogger on his computer, get copies of his cell phone bill. Watch him like a hawk! Start (if you can) showing up at lunch time to his work place, or drop by with lunch for him or something...BE nice to him and see how he reacts around you. Don't fool yourself, k. Something is up and you know it...I know you're hurting and confused, but do you really want to 'not' know or deny it? Even if HE denies it, the question is still there... ASK him if he is happy, ask him if you aren't meeting some of his needs. Show him how hurt you are, maybe if he sees the damage he's causing you he WILL tell you the truth.
Ladyjane14 Posted August 29, 2006 Posted August 29, 2006 Install a keylogger on his computer, get copies of his cell phone bill. Watch him like a hawk! Start (if you can) showing up at lunch time to his work place, or drop by with lunch for him or something...BE nice to him and see how he reacts around you. Good ideas from WWIU. Don't forget to look through the bank statements and the credit card bills too. Most cheaters will pay with cash, but they occasionally screw up. Look through his personal belongings too. You've been married for a long time. You'll have a pretty good idea of where all his hidey-holes are. You can also put a voice activated recorder in his car or a GPS unit to track his location. (Tape recording without permission can be legally problematic, and I'm not sure what the laws are in your area... so be careful and check into it before you do it. )
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