Pink Amulet Posted August 27, 2006 Posted August 27, 2006 Just out of curiousity... Let me gauge how your rendezvous work. I understand the pain, and the difficult situation you are in... but I have always been interested in how affairs can go on for years! Practically speaking... Where do you meet them? Hotels? Your house? Their house? When? Time of day? Are they supposed to be at work? Lunch breaks? Late at night? Early in the morning? How often? How many times a week/month? Duration? How much time do you actually get to spend with them per rendezvous? I am talking in terms of all encounters, physical or other wise. Much appreciated ladies Edit: I guess this goes out to both men, and women from either side of the affair...
Marielle Posted August 27, 2006 Posted August 27, 2006 cute avatar....but the blonde one was more you:p Where do you meet them? My apartment When? he comes around 8 or 9 pm, stays till midnight. How often? How many times a week/month?Thats everyday, but then some days we do not see each other becsause I have something, or he does.... How many times a week/month?He never sleeps over, but on weekends after we go out he stays over till 1:30 or 2 am...I rarely see him on a sunday Duration?Normally, on a good day, 60% of the times he stays for 5 or 6 hrs, but some week days just 2hrs
BenThereDunThat Posted August 27, 2006 Posted August 27, 2006 Not very often and never for more than a few hours at a time! Which ultimately was a good thing. If I had gotten more from him it would have taken that much longer to break it off. The first couple of times it was hotels, then twice at my house. Always right after work. We were getting to the point where he was going to try and find ways to spend the night when I ended it. We had made plans to spend an entire day at an amusement park and I assume he would have told his w he was at work. How he'd pull that off though I'm not sure. I couldn't go through with it though.
Author Pink Amulet Posted August 27, 2006 Author Posted August 27, 2006 cute avatar....but the blonde one was more you:p Where do you meet them? My apartment When? he comes around 8 or 9 pm, stays till midnight. How often? How many times a week/month?Thats everyday, but then some days we do not see each other becsause I have something, or he does.... How many times a week/month?He never sleeps over, but on weekends after we go out he stays over till 1:30 or 2 am...I rarely see him on a sunday Duration?Normally, on a good day, 60% of the times he stays for 5 or 6 hrs, but some week days just 2hrs Marielle- I must ask... how the hell does his wife not know!??! Where does he say he is for hours at a time evey day? When you say you "go out"- where? Isn't that dangerous?!
Marielle Posted August 27, 2006 Posted August 27, 2006 Pink...I really don t know, and every one asks me so. I don t talk about it either...and I even get upset when it s time to leave...weird. I think he does find excuses, he says he has stuff to do, ect such as playing cards with his friends (he s muslim and that s quite common). And he s not afraid of us going down town...who knows. He always tells me he s about to separate but everytime he pospones because of his baby, he says he doesn t love her, he's just there for the baby preteding to be a normal family, that he's a PRISIONER of a system, blah blah blah Anyways I started NC yesterday cause I m fed up that every night he returns to his wife, this is SURREAL, I can t take it anymore!!! (I think I should start my own thread....
lovernotafighter Posted August 27, 2006 Posted August 27, 2006 Well I honestly didn't realise my Affair was hitting the friendship 1 year / affair 1 year bench mark till the last couple of days..quite a shocker to me.. So your talking about just the sexual aspect then I'm guessing? leaving out dinners and walks..and dating type stuff? okay heres my run down.. Where do you meet them? Hotels. When? Time of day? Well we could of had many times together if our Affair started when we were on the same shift (we work together) but it didn't. so it's always under the guise of work related things..or we don't make comment of our where abouts at all...generally during the week and one of us takes off the day..or half the day each. How often? we seem to be at two times a month..not counting dates and such..sex 2 times, gave or take a week depending on our schedules. Duration? on average..6hrs. never been less than 4 but has been as much as 10
Guest Posted August 27, 2006 Posted August 27, 2006 Athough I ended it last year here you go: Where did you meet him: mostly my condo When: after work/on the weekend/sometimes at lunch How often: every single day Duration: during the week for about four hours/ weekend practically all day We took trips together, sometimes he would stay over but after nine months of lies I ended it. So just because they spend a lot of time with you it doesn't mean squat.
Author Pink Amulet Posted August 28, 2006 Author Posted August 28, 2006 Just to clarify, I did say " I am talking in terms of all encounters, physical or other wise." I should have added to the questions.... Where does his wife think he is???
MEASKINGPINK Posted August 28, 2006 Posted August 28, 2006 Are you writing a book? Did you cheat or were you cheated on? What's up with the surveys?
kymberann Posted August 28, 2006 Posted August 28, 2006 Where do you meet them? Usually my house when my children are with their dad. Earlier on we would meet at a park, at the gym, downtown, where ever we could to get away. When? Right now it's mainly on the weekends. Before, we would meet at our gym and leave to go somewhere from there. Also we used to go on long distance bike rides and runs. He was in a bike accident three weeks ago so it has been on and off. I was with him when he crashed, it was awful! I met his wife, that's another story! She thinks it was I who drove him to the emergency room. I thought it would all come out, but she is clueless!! How often? Now it just seems to be a weekend thing due to his injury. Before I would see him about every other day if not everyday. We at least did something together Duration? Well if we were running lots of time, if we were biking it could be a whole day thing. Now, he calls about every other day and when we have met it's been about two hours. That's painful to me! However we already have tentative plans for the weeknd. I have to wait a whole week to see him again! That's painful too! As for the wife, I think he tells her that he is going to the gym or riding. So some of it isn't a lie, she just doesn't know who he is with. Today is the first day we went to the gym, I ran while he lifted weights and then we met back at my house. He is helping me train for a marathon that we were supposed to do together!
Author Pink Amulet Posted August 28, 2006 Author Posted August 28, 2006 Are you writing a book? Did you cheat or were you cheated on? What's up with the surveys? Haha, what? What surveys are you refering too? Yes, I was cheated on but that is not why I am asking about affairs. I am just a genuinely very inquisitive, deeply curious person... I read a lot about affairs on LS, and the logistics of the relationships puzzle me... I just always assumed, if I had a husband, and he was out of the house for 4-5 hours a day (when he was not at work), or away on holidays, I might get suspicious and ask questions! As I said, just curious...
BenThereDunThat Posted August 28, 2006 Posted August 28, 2006 I read a lot about affairs on LS, and the logistics of the relationships puzzle me... I just always assumed, if I had a husband, and he was out of the house for 4-5 hours a day (when he was not at work), or away on holidays, I might get suspicious and ask questions! I know!! That wasn't an issue with my ex-mm, because like I said, it was always right after work, mostly just beers at the bar, and only for a couple hours -- no matter what we were doing. Although that doesn't count the hours we used to spend talking online, pretty much daily. I always wondered what she thought he was doing. I guess she just thought the man works a lot! Of the gazillion lessons I learned from all this, one is if I ever do get married again (or even a serious relationship), my eyes will be WIDE open! I just hope it doens't make me paranoid.
Author Pink Amulet Posted August 28, 2006 Author Posted August 28, 2006 if I ever do get married again (or even a serious relationship), my eyes will be WIDE open! I just hope it doens't make me paranoid. That's another thing... Maybe I am just preparing myself with knowledge. How depressing
lovernotafighter Posted August 28, 2006 Posted August 28, 2006 am I answering this wrong or somethin..I am the only one talking about sex *blushes* well the other stuff is every day but sunday..we usally can squeak in a hour lunch and stuff with over lapping schedules...we e-mail everyday and talk on the phone during his 45min car ride home a few times a week. I don't know what he says to the W about his huge phone bills, the e-mail thing has cut down and he can write from work as well. as far as his where about during our play time he says he's at work and so do I...even when he was off he said he had to go there to move offices around..and when I was off I went hours and hours long shopping jags. I hate to shop..how that worked is a mystery to me.
consternation Posted August 28, 2006 Posted August 28, 2006 I don't really understand why this question was asked. It seems rather voyeuristic.
Author Pink Amulet Posted August 28, 2006 Author Posted August 28, 2006 I don't really understand why this question was asked. It seems rather voyeuristic. Excuse me? Puhlease. I never specified sexual encounters. Here is my thinking... a relationship to be sustained needs time.. time to blossom... time to grow... contact to create an emotional and physical connection. Logistically I thought long term EA/PA's impossible in most marriages in this day and age. Life is hectic for most people, I just can't imagine how these men manage to sustain two relationships at one time... I was just curious about what OW settle for in terms of time. I get no gratification from reading this... in all honesty, the reality of this thread has made me really miserable
consternation Posted August 28, 2006 Posted August 28, 2006 Yes I know. I was listening to a thing on industrial relations today and apparently Australians work longer hours than any other nationality in the developed world. Later that hour, a segment on how 60% of Australians admit to cheating. After reading this thread, I think there may be a link between the two above facts.
reneet Posted August 28, 2006 Posted August 28, 2006 My MM lives with me. 4 years now. All the time in the world with him!!
BenThereDunThat Posted August 28, 2006 Posted August 28, 2006 am I answering this wrong or somethin..I am the only one talking about sex *blushes* LMAO - no, depressingly enough, I was talking about sex too. Only a couple hours....
lyfelite Posted August 28, 2006 Posted August 28, 2006 MM and I have an intersting arrangement. Because he does business here without his family we pretty sort of live together. He stays with me when he's in town. Which is one week out of the month. And then I'm in his country one week out of the month. So we get two weeks together. When I'm there we see each other every day. And in the evenings for 4 or 5 hours. Where is wife thinks he is-- she thinks he's either meeting with people or having dinner somewhere else. We speak everyday by phone and by e-mail-- video confrencing web cam etc. Obviously the calls aren't too suspect since he does business here. But I don't imagine she really pays that close attention to it because he handles the household finances. Only thing that is a little difficult is the time differences. With a 6 hour time difference most of the time one or both of us is loosing some sleep. I don't think either of us sleep more than 4 hours a night.
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