Brittanyjean06 Posted August 27, 2006 Posted August 27, 2006 Does anyone else worry about peoples wrong perceptions of you? I saw a thread that was started by a man who worried about people judging him...I guess in some ways Im self conscious because just like everyone else when your around people who are more outspoken than you, you tend to be a little more timid and shy.. Human nature I guess. I guess all people have to deal with it and you can't always try to prove your point to someone, everyone is entitled their opinions...but do you ever feel like that? Just wish peoples thoughts woudlen't invade your own thoughts...
Ariadne Posted August 27, 2006 Posted August 27, 2006 Does anyone else worry about peoples wrong perceptions of you? Nope, because people's perceptions of me are none of my business. Ariadne
Outcast Posted August 27, 2006 Posted August 27, 2006 Not really. Perceptions are not reality - they're reality skewed. The skew can be positive or negative and neither can be correct. You'll go totally nuts if you worry about what others think. Set standards for yourself and then keep to them.
SoCalCatman72 Posted August 27, 2006 Posted August 27, 2006 I used to worry a lot about people's impression of me, but now I honestly believe I dont give a darn. There's 300 million people in the U.S. alone and I only care about what the nice ones think about me, both of them.
RecordProducer Posted August 27, 2006 Posted August 27, 2006 Does anyone else worry about peoples wrong perceptions of you? I saw a thread that was started by a man who worried about people judging him...I guess in some ways Im self conscious because just like everyone else when your around people who are more outspoken than you, you tend to be a little more timid and shy.. Human nature I guess. I guess all people have to deal with it and you can't always try to prove your point to someone, everyone is entitled their opinions...but do you ever feel like that? Just wish peoples thoughts woudlen't invade your own thoughts...I wish that too, but in my experience, people's thoughts, judgments, perceptions, and mostly their own issues in their heads invade MY LIFE. So I have to react when I don't feel like reacting. I usually withdraw and isolate, which has made me feel isolated my whole life. Many people have shown hatred literally after I smile and say "Hi, nice to meet you ." I see them trying hard to ignore me, not even look at me, and not talk to me. I have been asking myself "WTF?" my whole life. It's ridiculous to ask your self "What did I do to deserve this?" when you know for sure that all you did was being kind and polite. Sometimes I figure the reasons (their own insecurities and mean nature), but sometimes I don't understand it. Even now I deal with it. Namely, my husband's twin brother who lives next door ignores me and barely speaks to me, his wife hates me and gossips about me everywhere for no reason, all her friends also started ignoring me from the moment they met me first, and even my father-in-law's wife doesn't talk to me or look at me. I actually feel sorry for all those people... My motto is: why would I care what they think of me? They should worry about what I think of them - and it's nothing good!
Pyro Posted August 27, 2006 Posted August 27, 2006 Does anyone else worry about peoples wrong perceptions of you? I saw a thread that was started by a man who worried about people judging him...I guess in some ways Im self conscious because just like everyone else when your around people who are more outspoken than you, you tend to be a little more timid and shy.. Human nature I guess. I guess all people have to deal with it and you can't always try to prove your point to someone, everyone is entitled their opinions...but do you ever feel like that? Just wish peoples thoughts woudlen't invade your own thoughts... I won't allow other people's opinions to affect me, especially if its people that I don't have to worry about seeing anytime soon. If its individuals that I have to see on a frequent basis, then I will do my best to not make them feel uncomfortable when around me.
chocolate_boy Posted August 27, 2006 Posted August 27, 2006 Does anyone else worry about peoples wrong perceptions of you? I saw a thread that was started by a man who worried about people judging him...I guess in some ways Im self conscious because just like everyone else when your around people who are more outspoken than you, you tend to be a little more timid and shy.. Human nature I guess. I guess all people have to deal with it and you can't always try to prove your point to someone, everyone is entitled their opinions...but do you ever feel like that? Just wish peoples thoughts woudlen't invade your own thoughts... I think that's something you lose, the older you get. When I was in my teens, I too used to worry like you, but now i'm in my late 20s I stopped caring a few years ago, its all about self-assurance and being comfortable with who you are... and actually now if someone doesn't like me, I get a bit of a kick out of trying to piss them off even more
Author Brittanyjean06 Posted August 27, 2006 Author Posted August 27, 2006 I try to avoid confrontation between people I have to see just because I hate getting stressed out in seeing them, I guess it is me being a teen and not truely being comfortable in my own skin. I do let what other think invade my own thinking of myself because I know who I am and I sometimes hate what other people think, but I try to look at it like this everyone gets their fair share with everyone thinking the wrong things of them...and I am also thinking too hard about it.. But for the most part Id like to think Im normal with this lol
BBetsy Posted August 27, 2006 Posted August 27, 2006 Actually, it's been said that you ARE what people's impressions of you are. We are constantly changing and evolving (unless we're stupid) and I think it's wise sometimes to take those perceptions of you and take a look in the mirror and seriously think about them. If you don't like their impressions, you probably need to work on something about yourself. I don't mean we should always try and please other people, but if other people think negatively about you then obviously you need to consider it, weigh it out, and determine if there's something you need to work on, and evolve. Continually try to be a better person...
a4a Posted August 27, 2006 Posted August 27, 2006 Actually, it's been said that you ARE what people's impressions of you are. We are constantly changing and evolving (unless we're stupid) and I think it's wise sometimes to take those perceptions of you and take a look in the mirror and seriously think about them. If you don't like their impressions, you probably need to work on something about yourself. I don't mean we should always try and please other people, but if other people think negatively about you then obviously you need to consider it, weigh it out, and determine if there's something you need to work on, and evolve. Continually try to be a better person... I have to so so disagree. Unless it is an opinion of people that really know you and your track record. A woman can think you are a dirty whore just because she caught her husband staring at you. People make snap judgements without really knowing a person and based on their own feelings and experience more often than not. If someone has known you for a long time then yes.... they might be a good person to get feedback from and really consider their opinion of you and how you could improve or change yourself.
Diver012 Posted August 27, 2006 Posted August 27, 2006 I could care less about the general population. But when that negative judgement comes from somone that claimed to care about you, then it does bother me. But after the hurt, my opinion of them changes and the feeling becomes mutual.
Author Brittanyjean06 Posted August 27, 2006 Author Posted August 27, 2006 I have to agree with what a4 disagreed with.... perception and negativity or two different things( if they can even compare) :::trying to make sense here ::: So if people have the wrong perception of me thinking since I am pretty and have big boobs I am not smart? so I guess than I have to try to be smarter for them. No. Im talking about when your more shy and timid around people, people either think your stuck up or just boring...so I need to try harder to proove to them im not? No..even though it feels like that..
a4a Posted August 27, 2006 Posted August 27, 2006 I have to agree with what a4 disagreed with.... perception and negativity or two different things( if they can even compare) :::trying to make sense here ::: So if people have the wrong perception of me thinking since I am pretty and have big boobs I am not smart? so I guess than I have to try to be smarter for them. No. Im talking about when your more shy and timid around people, people either think your stuck up or just boring...so I need to try harder to proove to them im not? No..even though it feels like that.. well if you desire people to like you based on their desire.... yes change. If you don't need them to like you ......whooooooo cares. You may have to friendly up to a coworker so your job is easier. You may have to friendly up to a inlaw to avoid drama. But you do not have to friendly up to the guy down the street because he happens to think you are a snob.... who cares. Is the person worth it to change. That is the question. People may think (because you are timid) that you are rejecting them.... again this is their problem really. Again if the person is important to you then yeah take the time to try to be more friendly..... if not poo poo on them....it is their problem.
Outcast Posted August 27, 2006 Posted August 27, 2006 but if other people think negatively about you then obviously you need to consider it, weigh it out, and determine if there's something you need to work on, and evolve. You have a point. If you find that you are universally disliked, then it may well be time to have a good look at yourself and see what you might be doing to cause it. I think most people will find they have fans and detractors. As long as you can manage to have some fans and they're the kind of people whose good opinion you respect, you're doing ok and don't have to worry about the rest of the herd. But it's true if people always end up disliking you that that's a clue that it is about you.
KittenMoon Posted August 27, 2006 Posted August 27, 2006 I've always found that if someone doesn't like you, or has a bad perception of you for whatever reason, it behooves you to be 100% politwe and friendly around them. Don't glare, sneer, be sarcastic, whatever, even if you know they loathe you. Nothing is better than showing someone you are above their perceptions.
superconductor Posted August 27, 2006 Posted August 27, 2006 I know for a fact - because I've asked - that people perceive me as intellectually aloof, cold, uncaring and can be a real b@st@rd sometimes. Oh... They happen to be right. I AM an a$$hat.
lindya Posted August 27, 2006 Posted August 27, 2006 I've always found that if someone doesn't like you, or has a bad perception of you for whatever reason, it behooves you to be 100% politwe and friendly around them. Don't glare, sneer, be sarcastic, whatever, even if you know they loathe you. Nothing is better than showing someone you are above their perceptions. I must admit that when someone dislikes me, and they offer me the opportunity to find out why, I'll try to take it...albeit with a certain amount of caution, and depending on my perception of their ability to express themselves in a reasoned manner. Sometimes it can come down to a crossed communication (shared responsibility), other times it can relate to something about me that has triggered underlying issues for them (their responsibility) or it will be because of thoughtless behaviour on my part (my responsibility). Or a combination of all three. Ascertaining the problem can be educational. Whilst I don't believe I'm above other people's perceptions, I agree with Outcast that people's perceptions can sometimes be skewed...eg as a result of their prevailing frame of mind at that moment, or because of certain fixed beliefs they have that might not correspond with my beliefs. People can get very huffy if you depart from their expectations of how a person should be - but that doesn't necessarily mean one has to adapt oneself to meet their expectations. It's important to take that into account before attaching too much importance to another person's view of you.
serial muse Posted August 27, 2006 Posted August 27, 2006 I think that's something you lose, the older you get. When I was in my teens, I too used to worry like you, but now i'm in my late 20s I stopped caring a few years ago, its all about self-assurance and being comfortable with who you are... and actually now if someone doesn't like me, I get a bit of a kick out of trying to piss them off even more That's funny; I'd say the exact opposite. I find that the older I get (I'm mid-30s), the more people (and how they see me) confuse the hell out of me. I think that when I was younger, I was more inclined to be in a bubble about this sort of thing. Who cared what people thought? But now, for whatever reason, I'm much more outwardly focused, more sensitive to other peoples' perceptions. The problem is, those perceptions are always in conflict! And for me sorting them out gets more, rather than less, confusing with age. Because those perceptions just keep building up on top of each other, plus you encounter more and different kinds of people, who bring all their own preconceptions and expectations and visions of how people should be. So the sands seem to shift more and more rapidly. Which is why, despite my curiousity and even concern at times, I wouldn't bother trying to "change" myself (unless, as other posters have said, there seems to be some universal opinion that I should maybe pay attention to). It's not because I don't care what people think, per se, it's that there's no consensus, so how could I possibly decide who to listen to anyway? It's too damn confusing to sort out. Plus, I generally like me the way I am. Still - I, too, wish I knew how I come off to other people. There must be a common theme in how family, friends and enemies see me, but I haven't got a clue what it is. And I'm not sure I'd agree with it, even if I did. It's like listening to your own voice on an answering machine, or looking at a picture of yourself - it would probably reflect as objective a reality as you could expect, but it'd be hard to recognize as yourself, even so.
Author Brittanyjean06 Posted September 4, 2006 Author Posted September 4, 2006 I think its not only the perception of seeing someone as mean or nice, it is if people don't come off as their total self, people look at that as someone trying to fit in which is stupid or maybe thats just the way I think..
inde4544 Posted September 4, 2006 Posted September 4, 2006 I find it strange how when a relationship ends you could have been the greatest person in the world to them for years but then if you get upset about it or anything the other person will look at you in a bad light instead of looking at all the good things you did for them.
Author Brittanyjean06 Posted September 4, 2006 Author Posted September 4, 2006 Thats another thing too. Well they say think about the bad things ? and people are fixated on bad things, drama gossip. People never want to see the good things, its all for them to feel better and get the blame off of them:)
bab Posted September 4, 2006 Posted September 4, 2006 I'm sure this is going to come off as totally conceited, but hey what do I care what people think of me?? Anyway, I looked good on paper. Meaning that (real life) people have this perception of me that is really impressive, and I don't feel I live up to. I tend to become shy and introverted because I don't want them to figure out that I'm not what they think I am. I asked a close friend the other day what he would rather have. 1. Be truely known for who you actually are or 2. Actually be who everyone seems to think you are. He chose 2. I can't decided. I like who I am, but at the same time people think I'm something spectacular. It would be pretty cool if I actually was.
Author Brittanyjean06 Posted September 4, 2006 Author Posted September 4, 2006 I'm sure this is going to come off as totally conceited, but hey what do I care what people think of me?? Anyway, I looked good on paper. Meaning that (real life) people have this perception of me that is really impressive, and I don't feel I live up to. I tend to become shy and introverted because I don't want them to figure out that I'm not what they think I am. I asked a close friend the other day what he would rather have. 1. Be truely known for who you actually are or 2. Actually be who everyone seems to think you are. He chose 2. I can't decided. I like who I am, but at the same time people think I'm something spectacular. It would be pretty cool if I actually was. If you see your self how everyone else sees you and if it good to some extent, what about the other pointless mindless people who see you in black and white? Would you than shift in a different mentality of your self just because one person with a total different mind perceived you as something your not? I would like to want both 1 and 2. 2 to some extent. and 1 to the fullest extent
alphamale Posted September 4, 2006 Posted September 4, 2006 Does anyone else worry about peoples wrong perceptions of you? ... Yes, I'm totally misunderstood, especially on LS...
Author Brittanyjean06 Posted September 4, 2006 Author Posted September 4, 2006 Yes, I'm totally misunderstood, especially on LS... Yes and people have made that painfully obvious:) haha oh well
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