Guest Posted August 26, 2006 Posted August 26, 2006 30s female back on the single scene. I recently started dating again after being in a l-term relationship. What are the norms regarding multiple partners while dating? I’m trying to 'get to know' the guy that I’m dating right now in my attempt to reduce drama. I think he has good intentions. He’s high energy and intense. He wants an immediate relationship and definitely wants to hook-up. Since I haven’t committed, he’s out being a guy. It bothers me that he has other sex partners. He travels with them, etc. I’m just not into it. Sport f*(#ing has its place in life, but those days are behind me- too much drama and it’s risky. I haven’t met a guy yet that can keep it straight. I guess there are other ‘safer’ ways of satisfying your partner during the ‘just dating’ phase. I’m trying to slow him down, but it’s not what I want and it’s getting high maintenance for me. Is this what it's like to be single? Any comments or advice?
superconductor Posted August 27, 2006 Posted August 27, 2006 Unless you've been telling your date(s) that you're exclusive with them, then by all means you have the right to date multiple partners too. And the fellow that you write of obviously hasn't made any exclusive commitments, so as long as everything is safe, there's no real expectation of being commited partners. If you're thinking of sitting him down and having the dreaded "where is this relationship going" talk, I get the sense that he'll bolt. I could be wrong...
sad-in-seattle Posted August 27, 2006 Posted August 27, 2006 I think that it's true - since you haven't had the "exclusive" talk then multiple partner's is typically "fair game". Although I think you could find a guy out there that isn't going to screw anything wearing a skirt even if you aren't exclusive. He doesn't seem like what your looking for. You said you wanted low maintenance and you just got out of a long term relationship. I would say just find a low key guy that doesn't need booty 24/7 from whom ever even if it is considered "fair". Seems like a lot of work to try to "slow" someone down when your not even looking for anything serious. (actually not sure if you said you were looking for something serious or not.. sorry for just assuming)
Pink Amulet Posted August 27, 2006 Posted August 27, 2006 Is this "courting" or "dating"? I always imagine if a guy I am in to is interested in me too, he will be putting his efforts in to seeing more of me, and attempting to win me over.... in this case I would assume he wouldn't have time to be fu*king around. I would not settle for anything less...
amerikajin Posted August 27, 2006 Posted August 27, 2006 Different people want different things. I think the key is to know what you want and then find someone who matches you and wants the same things out of a relationship. The alternative is to just hang out and see if anything comes of the relationship
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