He Broke Contact With Me

[Guest]

I HAVE TRIED TO READ ALL OF THIS BUT I CAN'T RIGHT NOW. SO I HAVE KEPT A COPY OF IT -

U KNOW AT TIMES LIKE THESE, IT IS SO MUCH EASY TO SIMPLY TALK WITH THE PERSON U KNOW BECAUSE USING DIFFERENT NAMES ETC. REALLY DOESN'T HELP....AND BTW, I HAVE A FUNNY ONLINE CHAT ROOM IRELANDE STORY AS WELL I MIGHT SHARE..

GM

 

 

Hi Mary, its me again, its been 4 months since my last message and i thought i would fill you in, obviously if all was well and good with me i wouldnt have responded, but here it goes: my last message was filled with optismism, i sent him the email saying it would be best not to hear from him again and i was fine with that, thinking that would be it, however towards the end of November i got an email from him, no it wasnt a written email from him, just an invite to some bebo thing, a wave of "why the hell is he contacting me again" feeling came over me, even tho it was just a friendly invite, i wanted him out of sight and out of mind, but here he was sending me this invite thing (which i rejected), then something happened i wasnt expecting, i felt this urge to contact him again! so i texted him:

 

Chosing my words carefully saying i was sorry what i said in the email and didnt mean any of it and i would like to get in touch again, well we did eventually, he didnt reply to my email till i texted him 2 or three times, he emailed me, we chatted, emailed again, he mentioned i could come over and see him at the start of the new year, all was well and good (all this time having this underlying feeling that something wasnt right) jan came, i tried delaying mentioning meeting up again when we chatted on MSN, incase he thought i was obbsessive etc, but after the first week of the new year i mentioned it, cus he was his ole self giving me the silent treatment and giving short answers when he would chat, however one night he came online, he was drunk, was really complimentive to me, calling me hot etc, for the first time since we initally broke contact a year before he was the man i knew and fell for, i was on a high, we arranged a date that night for when i could come over, i could have booked the ticket that night but i delayed it, wanted him to be sober before i finalised anything, so i said ill book the tickets tommorow night when ure online, all was well and good, the whole next day i was on a high.

 

I was so happy for the first time in a long time, that night he came online, i knew instantly he was different than the night before, he gave me the whole short answer **** again, so carefully i said "so do you wanna book these tickets now" then he changed to his usual self saying "i know you think im delaying things, but i cant them dates, i got uni work" - bearing in mind the night before he was like you can come over any weekend u like, im off weekends ...then he brought that **** up, so i got the ole knife thru the heart feeling again, from going to a feeling of high to low once again, he was like march would be better for me, and said he would sort it this week as to when i can come over...i lost it, i said i heard that so many times before, you just keep delaying it, you said last night them dates were fine, THEN HE DID THE SAME THING AS HE DID THE YEAR BEFORE WHEN HE BROKE CONTACT ..he said...."RIGHT YOUR BEING IN A MOOD, I CANT TALK TO YOU WHEN YOUR LIKE THIS" and went offline...just like that, then i erupted in a rage, i was so pissed off,upset, crying with rage u could say, i texted him a long text basically saying, dont ever contact me again, i ****ing hate you, playing around with my emotions like this, dont ever contact me again" i then deleted his number, deleted him on MSN, deleted his photos, binned anything that reminded me of him, i wanted a clean break, i didnt want to be reminded of him even in times when i was low, i wanted him out of my life for good.

 

So it's been almost 2 months since we broke contact..i can safely say for the last time...tho the HURT REMAINS...to know at one time we got on sooo good and then he did change, regardless of what he said, I dont want 2007 to be the same depressing year as 2006 for me, so im trying to move on.

 

and in relation to the other guy i mentioned in my last message that i was seeing, he did the same thing to me, we met, he broke contact, i was with somebody else last week, tho its not the same, its all sex sex sex in the gay world and i hate it, im really fed up with the whole thing. So thats my story so far, i have my good days, but mostly bad, i will get over him but i wont forget him, its just he had such a lifechanging impact on me and i cant let him go. Thanks for reading my long ass message lol.

[Mary3]

Heya Long time no talkie ! hehe....

 

Well I am VERY sorry this guy manipulated your feelings and hurt you again. You see now he was ALWAYS the same guy. He just hurt you twice .

 

He was what you wanted him to be in your heart but in his mind you were GAME.

 

He sexxed you and blew you off.

 

It hurt you very bad cuz you wanted love.

 

I walked the same road for sooo long but now I learned to love MYself ! And my new kitty. And now I bought a new place and I LOVE it ! I was so down for so long and it took alot to get me back up. That was 2 years ago. Now I try very hard ( had to get another side job ) to make it . and you know what ? I did it all MYSELF Nobody helped me. It makes you STRONG.

 

This bas**** that hurt you will go on and find innocent young men to use and to hurt again. He will get his Payback though. They always do. Likely with a dreaded disease as he likes to use young men sexually. Everyone who hurts someone in life WILL get karma effect. Don't ever forget that . Hold onto that fact.

 

The fact that others have hurt you and done the same means its a Mean Shark Tank out there. I had to get out of the tank. I was tired tired tired of getting used.

 

I just work on myself now. On my home. Love will find me. I can't go looking for it anymore.

 

I hope you can find some peace within. I hope you can smile again someday. We should chat on MSN I dont even chat on that thing but I would for you cause you have been thru so much ! I can help you avoid the Sharks hehe

 

write back soon mate