DawnMN73 Posted August 25, 2006 Posted August 25, 2006 Hello All I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months. We haven't been talking for the passed 2 weeks - he wants to get back with me, but i'm not sure if i can. He has a lot of good qualities, but lacks in the ones i need. The first 2 months were great & then i started noticing things that i wasn't happy with. He is 41 & his mom lives with him. - Everytime I am there, we have dinner with his mom & watch tv with his mom all night. We never have time alone - When we do have time alone, its not any different than if his mom was there, no affection - We stayed at a hotel one night for his family party, we got 2 rooms - i stayed alone & he stayed with his mom. - We don't go out at all, i think we went out 5x in 6 months. - My man is not very affectionate, or very loving. He doesn't hug, or kiss me or cuddle with me - He said thats not in him . I feel that i am just a friend. - He hasn't tried to satisfy me even 1x in 6 months during sex, its all him - There is no foreplay, no nothing during sex - He doesn't go down on me or even go near that area - He hasn't once come to my house to hang out - He won't come to my family parties - although i go to all his - I think he is a hypochondriac - always something wrong with him. He wants to get back with me. I do care a lot for him, however, I don't think he has the qualities that i need. From my list above, is the answer clear? I have talked to him 2x & we agreed to try to work things out. As soon as i get off the phone with him, my nerves go threw the roof & i get sick & throw up. Its like my body is telling me that i am doing something wrong. I already lost 10 lbs! & my nerves are going crazy. I don't want to hurt him in any way, he's a good guy!
swirly27 Posted August 25, 2006 Posted August 25, 2006 Dawn- Wow, not even sure what to say here. What qualities about him drew you in in the first place? Not to say he may not be a very nice guy, but it sounds like he has some DEFINITE issues. Why does he live with his mom, or maybe a better question, why are you guys always hanging with his mom and never have alone time?? Were the first 2 months like this as well? Sounds like he just wants a companion that he can take what he wants from but not give anything. Have you ever been in other fulfilling, healthy, passionate relationships?? If so, this doesn't sound like one and don't you want to be with someone where there is some spark, mutual respect and support, similar interests and someone who cares about what YOU want and feel as well as you caring about him. It just sounds like he has alot he needs to work on and I don't know that you want to go back to that. That is for you to decide, depending on how you feel about him and what you guys have been through. I just think you deserve more....maybe you could have a long meaningful conversation about what you want and need if you guys try to work things out.
Tony T Posted August 25, 2006 Posted August 25, 2006 No brainer. Dump this guy. He has issues with hair on them and don't think for a minute you will fix any of them. Tell him to stay with mama while you go out a search for a REAL man!!!
Author DawnMN73 Posted August 26, 2006 Author Posted August 26, 2006 Hey Swirly Thanks for replying. There were qualitities in him that were good in the beginning, but now it seems like the bad are overpowering the good. His mom lives with him cause his dad passed away so he brought a house & has his mom staying with him. Yes she hung out with us & never had time alone in the beginning, but back then it didn't bother me much. Now I can't stand it at all! Yes i think he has some definite issues & i agree with u when u say seems like he just wants a companion, just wants a friend there to say he has a girlfriend, just the shell, but nothing is inside. Yes i have been in a meaningful, passionate, relationship, last year, but it wasn't a healthy one, cause the man was married. But he showed me what a relationship is supposed to be like & how i'm supposed to be treated. When i started missing my ex while with my new man, i knew there was a problem. I knew i wasn't getting what i want out of my new man. I can't get back with him, he lacks too much in the places i need most! But i am still hurting from the breakup. I thought he was mr. wonderful, boy was i wrong. You can't fake passion, you can't fake affection. He is what he is & i need more!
Author DawnMN73 Posted August 29, 2006 Author Posted August 29, 2006 yes u have to read this post first before u read Back on match.com already
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