bluegal79 Posted August 25, 2006 Posted August 25, 2006 I saw my ex-fiance at the gym on Tuesday. It has been almost 3 months since he dumped via an email sent by his mother and cut off contact with me. The breakup story can be found here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t93822/ I had seen him at the gym 2 weeks ago and didn't acknowledge him, but I started trembling when I realized he was looking at me. Two nights later I received 4 hang up calls from his best buddy's cell phone number on my voicemail. The night I received the calls is the night they used to hang out together for a weekly "guy's night." That 1st gym incident is discussed in further detail here. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=881258&postcount=8 This past Tuesday, I walk into the gym and am waiting behind a guy to get my memership card scanned when the ex, who must have been on one of the machines near the desk, walks right behind the desk to stand there and stare at me. It was not a nice stare either or one of disbelief like the last time. His eyes were squinted like he was angry and he was just glaring. I was quite shocked since I went at a time when I thought he would still be at work. I kept my face neutral and I didn't acknowledge him at all. In fact, I acted like he wasn't there by glancing at the pool to the right and pretended to be interested in the people swimming. My membership card is scanned and I have no choice but to walk around the desk towards him to get up the stairs to the cardio machines. I do not acknowledge him as he is still staring angrily at me. He just shakes his head at me ( in a "no" motion) and turns around with his chest all pumped up, and starts to walk away from me toward the back of the gym. Yeah, like I was going to walk over to him or something. I walk up the stairs and go up them and as I glance down for a split second once I reach the top, he has stopped walking and is staring at me again. I just went and did my workout for 30 minutes ( I focused my attention on the TV's hanging in front of the treadmill), then came down did the weights like normal left. I didn't start trembling like the last time when I saw him either. I am stubborn and I am not going to stop going to that damned gym because: 1) It is literally 5 minutes or less from my house and I enjoy exercising. 2) Why should I be the one to "run away" from him or avoid him? He dumped me! He was abusive to me! Why should I be ashamed of showing my face there? He had his mom change his number and tell me he left town, so I couldn't "find him." If you are avoiding someone, why does he keep going there when he knows I still go there? Is he trying to intimidate me? 3) I did my best to avoid him all summer long and when I did see him 2 weeks ago on a Tuesday, it was after 7pm. So I think to myself, " I will just go a few hours earlier from now on." Today is the second day in a row I have gone at 4pm-ish. If he doesn't like my presence there, then I suggests he go work out somewhere else. 45 minutes after I left the gym, I received a "Private Call" on the phone. When the phone rang, I didn't look at the caller ID since I was expecting a call from my mother and picked up. I said hello and had someone stay on the line for a few seconds then hang up. FWIW, in the 2 years I have lived here, I have never gotten a "Private Call" from someone. I have a feeling it was him. Who else would call and block their number ( he has a new cell number since he dumped me)? Did I act correctly in ignoring him? My therapist said I should smile or wave and go about my business, but he was glaring at me in such a terrible manner I felt he did not deserve to be acknowledged. Thoughts? Suggestions?
hbd1981 Posted August 28, 2006 Posted August 28, 2006 This guy has some nerve. He's a jerk to you in your relationship, is abusive, has his MOTHER break up with you for him, prank calls you, and has the nerve to stare at you like that?? I'll never understand some people. This guy is such a creep and should be ashamed of his actions, and should try to avoid you, because he should be so embarrassed by his childish and immature antics. He is obviously trying to make you feel uncomfortable. I give you a lot of credit, though. I'm glad you're not letting the jerk scare you away from your gym. Just ignore him. It's obviously driving him crazy. He wants a reaction from you. Did I mention that this guy is a creepy mofo?! Grrr. Good luck to you.
Author bluegal79 Posted August 28, 2006 Author Posted August 28, 2006 hbd1981: Thanks for your insight. I also wondered how someone who had his mother dump me and tell me he "left town" would have the nerve to show his face at that gym!
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