cranium Posted August 25, 2006 Posted August 25, 2006 Mz. Pixie suggested I post an update. I’m ecstatic to be off the Separation and Divorce board. We celebrated our 17th anniversary in July and we’re doing pretty well these days. We had a discussion one evening a couple of months ago about Trust missing from our relationship. I said I didn’t believe it was trust that was missing over the years, but Honesty. I always trusted her as she did me, but both of us had been dishonest. She went on to say that she didn’t feel like she fully trusted me yet and that she couldn’t imagine that I trusted her. I told her I did trust her, because I was CHOOSING to trust her. Neither of us wants a relationship where we are constantly suspicious of the other. So many of us allow the past to control how we interact with our partners today and influence how we’ll be tomorrow. If we can get to the point of completing the past and putting the past in the past (where it belongs), we’re open to create whatever we want for today and the future. All we have is NOW. There really isn’t any past; just a memory of a prior NOW. Likewise, there is no future; just a mental projection of some anticipated or expected NOW. How great it is to see one’s partner today without any preconceived notion of how they’ll be (because that’s how they’ve always been.) When we stop taking the past and throwing it into the future and then living towards it, we actually begin to experience NOW. It’s tough work to stop the constant internal chatter that’s full of preconceived notions, expectations and our own personal interpretation of history and just be present. There’s a great little Toltec wisdom book by Miguel Ruiz entitled The Four Agreements: Be Impeccable With Your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Don't Take Anything Personally: Nothing others do is because of you. Don't Make Assumptions: Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Always Do Your Best. He’s got another entitled The Mastery of Love. Both are quick reads (one night) and much of the material is common sense, but we all need encouragement sometimes. Thanks again and best wishes to all of you. C
silktricks Posted August 25, 2006 Posted August 25, 2006 Thank-you for the update and the wonderful words of wisdom that are so good to hear.
flowerpot Posted August 25, 2006 Posted August 25, 2006 It's nice to here that there are people who are working things out! I wish you both the very best. God Bless
Recommended Posts