Guest ow Posted August 24, 2006 Posted August 24, 2006 after 4 months nc, mm is trying to come back into my life. i was not over him, but i thought that it was over, and i had no choice but acept it. now it has stirred up all my feelings, i want to contact him. i did not reply to his mails, and now he has stopped trying. i feel he is going to leave it now, and i want to ask him what he wanted. i know that he wants more of the same. which is good, because i enjoyed the a, but i cant risk him dropping me again at his conveneince, and picking me up again at his next conveneince. please help me to not contacting him.
movinon05 Posted August 25, 2006 Posted August 25, 2006 If you say you know what he wants - "more of the same" - then why bother contacting him to ask him what he wants? Take it from me. When I was NC'd, I NEVER contacted him. Two or three months down the line, he always contacted me with whatever excuses and would always ask me "Why didn't you try to contact ME?" I always came back with the same answer. If someone doesn't want to be with me or doesn't love me enough, and has the guts to just leave me with no word, then I don't want that person. Unfortunately, he always sucked me back in. This went on for 7 years! Its now been 1 1/2 yrs of NC (notwithstanding some recent attempts on his part), but I assure you, all I have to do is think of the pain and the drama and the anxiety to know I will never contact him or allow anything to happen again. You are 4 months into NC. Don't lose that. The pain does subside. Think of all the bad things you felt and move on with your life. He is just stuck, probably realizing he's still not happy, and he is faltering and weak. Stay strong. Don't let him do this to you. Go out and enjoy life. It will get better.
freakygal78 Posted August 25, 2006 Posted August 25, 2006 Guest OW - be strong - your memories of the pain caused by the A have probably faded a little and so you are probably weakening from his contact and thinking of the 'good' aspects you had (what few there actually are!). He probably has less to lose out of this than you - just think of their grinning faces going back home to their W, to their comfortable homes after messing with you the OW and leaving you feeling unsure of yourself, uncertain and ultimately - alone! My MM r'ship did not even get physical and it has totally messed with my year so badly - I may as well write it off and file it under 'F' for F*CKED UP! Just think of their smug attitude knowing THEY have a choice of whatever the hell they want to do and they're getting the benefit of a comfortable married life and a bit of a thrill on the side - that usually balances my view of the situation. Anyways my 2c worth!
Recommended Posts