thinking_over Posted August 24, 2006 Posted August 24, 2006 i met a guy few month back. I didnt know much abt him when he met. I just know that he is working in finance line. Thats it. I continually meet him from one to another dates. I found him attractive and i quite like him. Simply he as a person. Few days back, this guy told me that he likes me and asked me to consider him to be his girl friend .From that day, he called me "darlilng " and really sweet and pampered me. I am glad yet The problem is , he is very picky person. And i got a strong impression that he is looking for someone who has everything , a Perfect girl friend ( pretty, well educated , much knowledge, excellent - luxurious carier ) and he admit that he is picky. Only few days ago, i found that he is the vice president in such a reputable company. So i guess thats the reason why he is so picky. I feel so pressured after i found it. So i told him that i am a simple normal girl. I am working in good company , happy with my work yet i am not perfect girl friend. I am happy with my life and my friends, living a simple life. I am not a high profile person as He is . I just hope that he likes me just the way i am . He said i met his standards. Frankly speaking, i feel like dating this guy is more pressuring than dating an Emperror . He said he likes me a lot and serious with me. I am happy but i am so damn pressured with his criterias. Guys , what do u think ? Should i just walk away ?
rina_r Posted August 24, 2006 Posted August 24, 2006 Picky? From your story it is not obvious.Seems like he is a guy with his own standards.Who of us does not want a SO who is pretty, intelligent, with a stable job, etc?
bluechocolate Posted August 24, 2006 Posted August 24, 2006 And i got a strong impression that he is looking for someone who has everything , a Perfect girl friend ( pretty, well educated , much knowledge, excellent - luxurious carier ) and he admit that he is picky. then He said i met his standards Not sure what the problem is here.
Sand&Water Posted August 24, 2006 Posted August 24, 2006 I just hope that he likes me just the way i am . He said i met his standards. Just be yourself. Do not change yourself to please his standards. Maybe you satisfy him in other ways. Go out with him a few times, and see how it develops. Take it slow, and be cautious.
TheSilentType Posted August 24, 2006 Posted August 24, 2006 If you cannot comfortably be the person you want to be when you are around him, leave him. Why worry about what he wants so much? Once you give into that, then you will keep on giving into whatever else he wants later down the line. Find someone else with whom you don't feel pressured to be who they want you to be.
soberminded Posted August 24, 2006 Posted August 24, 2006 The good thing I got into online dating. I can weed out the picky women because I can read their profiles to see the description they put for the kind of man they are looking for. So I'll have an idea of who is picky and who is not. If I come across a profile that is picky then I won't bother to make contact in the first place.
silentcharon Posted August 24, 2006 Posted August 24, 2006 No, I would not. Because I can't stand picky people in general. I have picky friends- they pick on their food (even after I asked them what their food preferences were, etc), they complain about a lot of things, and blah blah. I don't think I would ever get along with a picky man if I was dating him. Hell, I feel exhausted after going out with picky people at the end of the night.
Sally00 Posted August 24, 2006 Posted August 24, 2006 I see absolutely no reason to walk away. It's good you told him already that you seem to be a simple girl and everything... it looks like to me he appreciates everything for who you are because he's still around, right? My boyfriend claims he's picky. But, it really doesn't seem like it to me... cuz he's with ME. LOL. Nah, that's just how we all think about it... We all look at each other like we're simple and all that. That's just because we are so used to ourselves. But seeing ourself from a different perspective is totally different. Give 'em a chance. He likes you for you as it is. I actually see no pressure to impress him or anything. If, after time, he doesn't like you.. eh, it's his loss. There will be somebody else who likes you for you.
Adunaphel Posted August 24, 2006 Posted August 24, 2006 I love picky guys that would pick me. Does he do/say anything that makes you feel pressured? Or could the fact that he told you he is picky be considered a compliment?
Road Rage Posted August 24, 2006 Posted August 24, 2006 Am I the only one who thinks the cart is before the horse here? I thought a couple got together a while and then decide to be a couple rather than the other way around. But I gotta love LoveShack! I am learning so much about the female of the species here:)
Guest.Gurl Posted August 25, 2006 Posted August 25, 2006 I am catering for this high profile 'emperor' as well and you will need very strong self-esteem because later on, he will crash your ego over and over again. He will points to your faults and keep comparing you to other girls. When he asked you to consider you to be his girlfriend, he is asking you whether you would 'take the job'. Depending on whether you like challenges, if you do, take him. Tip: Find a fault/weakness that he has and keeps telling him that he may be successful in his career but he is far from perfect. I am in a similiar situation and is on my way to be his trophy wife (hopefully), I would be happy to exchange tips with you, do you have an email address I can write you?
thinking_over Posted August 25, 2006 Posted August 25, 2006 Picky? From your story it is not obvious.QUOTE] what makes me think that he is picky is his comments towards other people. He said this gal is not educated , that gal is not pretty enough , this person is too childish... etc.. And he asked me abt my position in the company , my background...and so on. The more i think over it, the more i feel not sure abt him.
nicki Posted August 25, 2006 Posted August 25, 2006 Please tell me that becoming a "trophy wife" ISN'T your highest aspiration. I would never apply for a girlfriend position like it's a job to win. I have always walked away from guys who like women competing with each other for their attention. Who gives a sh#t for a guy who compares you to other women and makes you feel bad about yourself? You are no one's trophy, sweetheart. And a rich, successful guy is not yours either. Expect more out of yourself, and out of men. As for the poster's question, I don't mind discerning men, but I don't like nitpicky ones. Watch and see how your guy makes you feel. Then decide from there if you like HIM.
norajane Posted August 25, 2006 Posted August 25, 2006 I think you're worrying needlessly over nothing. He wouldn't be dating you at all if he didn't like you, or if he thought you weren't the kind of person he's hoping to be with. Of course he asked about your job, your background, your life? Doesn't every guy ask those exact same questions? Would you rather he had no interest in who you are and what you're about and never asked you anything but only talked about himself? You're putting the pressure on yourself. He treats you well, "pampers" you, and doesn't pick you apart. Enjoy!
Guest.Gurl Posted August 25, 2006 Posted August 25, 2006 Hi nicki. I hate to be a trophy wife, I have always wanted to be a simple wife who cooks his meals, play with my kids, have a job etc. But whenever I am dating a successful guy, I just fall into the trophy-girlfriend role naturally. Dress up, keep myself fits, updating myself on all those f**king high culture. It is a job, a no-pay job. Actually, I have to pay out of pocket just to dress up for him. I have dated with less demanding guys, they dont make me feel bad about myself, but they dont treat me any better. They are lazy, never romantic, watch porn (in front of me), drool over other chicks, won't compromise, never apologize, never chase me back when I walk out of the door. You know what type of guys I like most,,, playboys... but then you can't marry them.
nicki Posted August 25, 2006 Posted August 25, 2006 Hi Guest Girl. It sounds like you want a nice, normal marriage, and not to be a "trophy wife." That means you need to find a guy who has good "husband" qualities, not just outward appearances of success. Nothing wrong with a rich and successful guy who is also a good guy on the inside. But, I know what you mean about accidentally falling into the whole "trophy" girlfriend thing. It has happened to me, too, out of a natural desire to look good for a man. When he wants you to dress up all the time, accompany him to society and business functions, it is easy to fall into appearances....especially when he compliments you all the time for the way you look. But, I ended up trying to balance looking sexy, etc. with just going to a ballgame with my guy, wolfing down a hotdog....no wearing make up on the weekends. Going out in tee shirts and jeans once in a while. If a guy can't handle that, then he's not for me. I want to be able to show ALL sides of myself. I'm no one's toy or dress up doll. Neither are you. If a guy can't appreciate all your facets, then don't allow yourself to become one dimensional. So, this is similar to what the poster is saying. Her guy likes her as she is. She just needs reassurance of that.
thinking_over Posted August 25, 2006 Posted August 25, 2006 I am catering for this high profile 'emperor' as well and you will need very strong self-esteem because later on, he will crash your ego over and over again. He will points to your faults and keep comparing you to other girls. When he asked you to consider you to be his girlfriend, he is asking you whether you would 'take the job'. Depending on whether you like challenges, if you do, take him. Tip: Find a fault/weakness that he has and keeps telling him that he may be successful in his career but he is far from perfect. I am in a similiar situation and is on my way to be his trophy wife (hopefully), I would be happy to exchange tips with you, do you have an email address I can write you? thank you for your feedback... i do appreciate that and i think it would be great if we could write and share things even though i am still not sure whether i will continue with this guy or not. My email [email protected] talking abt trophy wife, i do find some points that ... the picky guy , they are usually more organized and they know what they want. Thats exactly what make me like him. So far most guys that i know, they are confuse people , just follow the crowd. sometimes i just wondering , is there someone out there who is just right..? he doesnt have to be so perfect or so high profile, someone that u r happy with him, you are happy for who he is but in the same times he is appreciative to you and him self ..
blind_otter Posted August 25, 2006 Posted August 25, 2006 i think the issue is the way he looks at other people's faults "she's not educated..." and all that. I hate being around people who are "down" on other people all the time. If they guy has nothing but negative to say about other people it reflects on how he feels about HIMSELF.
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