forwardrussia Posted August 24, 2006 Posted August 24, 2006 hey all, this is my first post on this forum, kinda just looking for some advice... Basically, I split up with my girlfriend about 2 years ago, after a 3 year long relationship. The reasons for the breakup were fairly common, i.e. I turned in to a complete wuss. This coupled with the fact me, my gf and pretty much all my/our friends were addicted to marijuana (we were living in holland at the time), didnt do much to help matters. I moved to the UK to go to university and my gf moved to the same place (I think I moved there for her), and after another 8 months of an on off relationship, she broke up with me, and almost instantly started seeing someone else, which, as you can imagine broke my heart. I stopped smoking marijuana and I didn't contact her for months despite a few meetings considering we shared alot of the same friends. Obviously I was still in a state and after a few more months, began speaking to her again, and I knew I hadn't gotten over her at all. Much against my own advice we became really close friends, although slightly tainted due to the undercurrent of emotion there. She split up with her bf and again jumped to someone else, whom she is still with now. Accepting my fate, i limited contact with her and made some new friends, and soon began to regain my confidence and began sleeping with other woman, but nothing ever stuck. I felt much happier with myself, and began moving away from the paranoid wreck I once was in to the person I was before I started smoking/seeing this girl (obviously not exactly the same). Now comes the problem. Being a dirty student days are never full, I have some hobbies that keep me occupied, but I like to meet up with people for lunch/going out etc, and over the last 6 months or so, have begun seeing more and more of my ex. It started when I tried at a relationship with another girl (which I ended abruptly when she cheated on me), I was at a party with my ex and we ended up talking, and somehow we ended up kissing, which was a stupid thing to do, but instantly feelings began flooding back, just to clarify, we were both pretty drunk. The next instance happened when her and her bf were on 'a break' and her and her m8 got drunk and she came over and fell asleep in my bed, being the gentleman that I am I slept on the sofa, but it was clear why she had come round. Once again hope began to swell and again I was confused as hell. The final instance came about 5 days ago, at a festival me and another of my friends went to. My friend had gone to bed, and me and my ex (again) were hammered, and we basically did everything except have sex, which is the trigger for me asking advice. She is still smoking marijuana and due to this the signals I get are all over the place :/. As I said above we share alot of the same friends, and through a strange sequence of circumstances, I am now moving in with her and 3 of my/our friends. A stupid thing to have happened I realise, and theres no way out of it so i guess i'll have to accept it. Just wondering if anyone has any opinions on how to cope with this situation, be it getting back together with her, or getting over her, whichever is more plausable, considering the circumstances. I have asked advice on other boards and I've been told to stay out of contact with her, but this is impossible. I think she still has some feelings for me, and she might have noticed I have changed, but I really am not sure. All I know is unless I get with her/get over her anytime soon I might just lose my mind .
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