sweetie271 Posted August 24, 2006 Posted August 24, 2006 Hi, I am new here. I am nearly 21 years old and have never had a boyfriend, never even had genuine admirers. I have been going to a training course, which is to go on for another ten weeks. I feel heartbroken because I met a fantastic man their, the first man to ever like me and say that I am gorgeous, who is perfect and I am crazy about him, and I feel heartbroken because he has a girlfriend. I feel so sad about it. He is absolutely perfect, whereas every other man I have met has been awful. I feel heartbroken!
In Sync Posted August 24, 2006 Posted August 24, 2006 Hi, I am new here. I am nearly 21 years old and have never had a boyfriend, never even had genuine admirers. I have been going to a training course, which is to go on for another ten weeks. I feel heartbroken because I met a fantastic man their, the first man to ever like me and say that I am gorgeous, who is perfect and I am crazy about him, and I feel heartbroken because he has a girlfriend. I feel so sad about it. He is absolutely perfect, whereas every other man I have met has been awful. I feel heartbroken! Plain and simple, if you must be around him for the training course just focus on the work at hand. If he has a gf...maintain your emotional distance and leave this alone. We are not children. Just because you see a toy doesn't mean you have to have that toy. There are other toys and men that are available to you. You are idolizing him because he is unavailable to you. No man is abolutely perfect...with exception to Wentworth Miller:love: but I digress....don't get yourself in a knot for a man in a commited relationship.
Author sweetie271 Posted August 24, 2006 Author Posted August 24, 2006 I know that it is usually the case that people want what they cannot have, but I don't think that is the case here. I fell for him the moment I met him, and it was a while after that I found out he had a girlfriend.
In Sync Posted August 25, 2006 Posted August 25, 2006 I know that it is usually the case that people want what they cannot have, but I don't think that is the case here. I fell for him the moment I met him, and it was a while after that I found out he had a girlfriend. just bcause you fell for him, does not mean you need to act on it. I fell for a Louis Vuitton bag but I can't afford it, does that mean I should take my co-workers bag. No, I look at it smile and move on. If you were his gf and another girl came onto him, saying the line as you, what you tell her?
Author sweetie271 Posted September 15, 2006 Author Posted September 15, 2006 I do want to be friends with him, as we get on well and I find it hard to make friends. We got on really well today, and I had a right laugh with him. He asked if I wanted to go out for a drink on my 21st birthday next Saturday.
In Sync Posted September 15, 2006 Posted September 15, 2006 well if you feel alright about this what are you ambivilent about? you're 21 correct? And for you getting the attention of a man is important at this stage but if this man is involved with another gf, and his flattery leads you to getting emotionally hooked on him then no one is to blame for the consequences that follow. If he has a gf, he is not a man to invest your feelings in. How he treats one girl is a good sign how he'll treat you. Yes everyone is charming in the beginnings of all relationships but once your heart gets entwined something will switch. You obviously think you can make him forget her and perhaps eventually convince him to leave her..otherwise why him and not another single available guy?
Author sweetie271 Posted September 15, 2006 Author Posted September 15, 2006 I have no intention whatsoever of making him forget her at all, I would never do anything like that. Today, I had fun talking to him, and laughing - which I haven't been able to do for years! But I was never thinking about tearing him away from his girlfriend! I enjoyed having a laugh with him, and want to be his friend - he is friends with a girl at the training centre, and a great friend to her. I find it difficult to make friends, as I am usually shy, and will feel really great to have made such a friend. I am going for a drink with him to make a friend, and if I knew a single available guy I would go out with him, but I don't know any!
In Sync Posted September 16, 2006 Posted September 16, 2006 What you're saying is that you have no self confidence and that you are willing to put yourself in a compromising position that may leave your heart in a vulnerable place with this guy. Just as there are more than one leaf on a tree there is more than one single guy. Don't throw away your common sense just to appease this feeling of loneliness. Unless you live in a batcave there's always a way to meet people. Otherwise you'll make yourself vulnerable to anyone, not just this guy but to any guy who pays attention to you. If you talk to many people around you who have been less wise and heartbroken by a guy who had a gf or wife in the background, the common thread is he made them feel good or "he makes me laugh". A good charmer knows how to play on the thing we want most. Attention. If this guy has a gf...and he only wants to be friend..why doesn't he bring his gf along for that drink with you? I'm sure you're a sweet young woman, but don't allow your ego to blur your judgement. Ask him where is your gf?..I mean he's your friend right? and friends talk about all sorts of things. Look behind this guys actions...I think he is knowingly going after more than just friendship...and that's his choice. But why is he doing this openly with his gf's approval or behind her back. this simple drink? It's easy to get lured into something and but its harder to get untangled...
SoCalCatman72 Posted September 16, 2006 Posted September 16, 2006 In Sync.......hand over the kitten in your avatar, I need to snuggle it
In Sync Posted September 16, 2006 Posted September 16, 2006 In Sync.......hand over the kitten in your avatar, I need to snuggle it Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwh that's so sweet...
Author sweetie271 Posted September 16, 2006 Author Posted September 16, 2006 What you're saying is that you have no self confidence and that you are willing to put yourself in a compromising position that may leave your heart in a vulnerable place with this guy. Just as there are more than one leaf on a tree there is more than one single guy. Don't throw away your common sense just to appease this feeling of loneliness. Unless you live in a batcave there's always a way to meet people. Otherwise you'll make yourself vulnerable to anyone, not just this guy but to any guy who pays attention to you. If you talk to many people around you who have been less wise and heartbroken by a guy who had a gf or wife in the background, the common thread is he made them feel good or "he makes me laugh". A good charmer knows how to play on the thing we want most. Attention. If this guy has a gf...and he only wants to be friend..why doesn't he bring his gf along for that drink with you? I'm sure you're a sweet young woman, but don't allow your ego to blur your judgement. Ask him where is your gf?..I mean he's your friend right? and friends talk about all sorts of things. Look behind this guys actions...I think he is knowingly going after more than just friendship...and that's his choice. But why is he doing this openly with his gf's approval or behind her back. this simple drink? It's easy to get lured into something and but its harder to get untangled... Actually, its not like that at all. He probably will invite his girlfriend. He said that he would like to introduce me to a few of his mates and his girlfriend. So he probably will invite her. He has purely platonic relationships with women, which his girlfriend knows about, and she knows that she can trust him. He talks about how much he loves her. Just because I like him, doesn't mean I can't be friends with him. He would be a great friend to have, I can't see what is wrong with being good friends with him.
In Sync Posted September 16, 2006 Posted September 16, 2006 Hi, I am new here. I am nearly 21 years old and have never had a boyfriend, never even had genuine admirers. I have been going to a training course, which is to go on for another ten weeks. I feel heartbroken because I met a fantastic man their, the first man to ever like me and say that I am gorgeous, who is perfect and I am crazy about him, and I feel heartbroken because he has a girlfriend. I feel so sad about it. He is absolutely perfect, whereas every other man I have met has been awful. I feel heartbroken! This was your original post, that we starte from...and now you say he wants to introduce you to his friends and gf...so what was the point of your original post if all is well in with this guy and your friendship with him. You've confused me because you started off with one scenario and said you were sad about...if the facts you portrayed weren't as such, disregard my advice and enjoy the new friendship you made with him and his mates and gf..what was the problem from the get go then?
Guest77 Posted September 23, 2006 Posted September 23, 2006 Hi Sweetie 271, I have found the perfect man for me - and guess what: he has a girlfriend, too. I am trying to be friends with him (we have talked openly about it and he wants to be friends but loves his girlfriend and plans on marrying her!) and I can tell you it hurts like hell. I feel that this is the absolute perfect guy for me and seeing him with someone else really almost kills me each time. My choice is to either accept this or cut him out of my life. I am trying to keep him as a friend but it hurts like hell. At your age there is always the chance that he will change his mind and leave her for you - who knows? Good luck
Recommended Posts