Hey Guys, guess it really is done...

[BimmerNY]

I don't know if you guys remember my post from a few weeks back, http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t95713/?highlight=bimmerny. Of course I was an idiot and too in love with my ex that I just didn't listen to your guys advice and I should have.

 

Anyway we hung out at least 3 times in the past week. Last Wednesday, Sunday and Lastnight (Wednesday). We went out to the restaurant to eat and ordered wine all 3 times and got drunk. The first two dinners, she would constantly be on the phone with her new man and have me waiting. Which I didn't mind because I liked the fact that we are friends and still want eachother in eachother's lives.

 

Then yesterday she broke the news to me that after 3 weeks of dating and them being all serious and being madly in love and having sex, that he ended it. I was really pissed off because she left me after being together for 4 years to be with this guy then he dumps her and now she is all depressed and crying like how I was/still am.

 

She said that he said that things are moving to fast, and he is the one that made her come to his house, meet her mom, meet his whole family at a party. Then he says the sex was boring. Then he tells her his ex came back in his life and he wants to persue it.

 

Naturally I was excited because I thought we would get back. So she invites me over to her house yesterday to talk and SHE is the one that just blurts out, oh lets get back together because I think 4 years is long and I did you wrong by leaving you. And of course like and idiot I said yes lets give it a go!

 

So each time we would get drunk, she would always be very flirty with me and on the second date on the walk home she said we should have sex. I didn't take her serious and just dropped her home. But last night on our last dinner, we are all drunk and she said lets go to my house and have sex to see if we still feel the same way about eachother. I was excited and said SURE. So about 5 minutes later she changes her mind and I just go home.

 

I IM her this morning and ask if I can come over and she is like no, no I want to be alone right now. So basically I beg her because I want to go over and have sex to see where we can go from that. She doesn't know my motives and said fine you can come if you bring my birthday present early, I said sure. (Her birthday is this Saturday).

 

When I get to her house she is all depressed over this guy and I was like what happened to lastnight, it was about me and you all night why is he on your mind right now? She then percedes to destroy every last grain of me and tells me it's not gonna work and she doesn't see us ever have that relationship again and that we should just remain friends, thats it, nothing more. I was devasted because lastnight we were talking and wanted to work so badly but I think she was just doing that cuz that guy got back with his ex to see if it can work and she wants to get him jealous by letting him know she wants her ex back as well.

 

He told her that he wants to try it out with his ex and if it doesn't work he will call her again to continue. She said no that is not fair for her to just wait on him. I know she really really really wants this guy back after today. So whatever.

 

I then begger her to have sex for about 10 minutes and she is like NO, never again and she sees it as disgusting and is offended I would do this and that I was scaring her and that I should leave and we should take a break from eachother and she will date other people. But I think she is lying she is gonna wait for him like the loser she is. This girl just doesn't know what the hell she wants.

 

So anyway I am a LOSER and BIG IDIOT, I shoulda just stayed away like everyone said, instead I didn't listen and get my heart broken 2 times by the same girl within a month.

 

I guess its 100% definitely over and we will both do no contact. I don't think she will want to speak with me anyway after that last stunt I pulled.

[InaPanic]

I'm sorry you got hurt a second time. It's so hard to stay friends when you still have feelings for someone because you will always have that hope it can be more.

She was horrible to you & I think just trying to use you to get herself over the ex who dumped her. Maybe she genuinly thought she could get the feelings back, in the state of mind she was in, & was trying to force it & just couldn't.

I know you must feel like hell right now & I'm very sorry for you. Best of luck with NC. It's a bitch. I'm trying to do it & nearing failure.

[sad-in-seattle]

Ok. First off the reason she hung out with you and all that is because she feels bad about herself that she was dumped and in order to boost her self esteem she wanted to show she still has control over someone. That someone happens to be you. She offered sex seeing if you would had complied - you did and then she took it back. She totally was just using you to feel better about herself. As soon as she was dumped you shoulda stayed away. Especially if you wanted to get back with her... because you would atleast want her to have time to herself and to get over this dude before she ever got back with you. You don't want to be a rebound to some loser she dated for a couple weeks. The good thing is she didn't have sex with you to confuse you anymore then you already are. Stay away from her. Stop talking to her. Tell her she doesn't know how to treat someone as a friend and she just lost one. Who knows maybe she's one of those crazy girls that'll come around if you do that... NC is the best solution if you don't wanna get back with her (or even if you do)... take a break from the situation and see how you feel. I bet you look back on this and think what the heck was I doing? =P Hindsight is always 20/20

[scrybe74]

I don't know if you guys remember my post from a few weeks back, http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t95713/?highlight=bimmerny. Of course I was an idiot and too in love with my ex that I just didn't listen to your guys advice and I should have.

 

Anyway we hung out at least 3 times in the past week. Last Wednesday, Sunday and Lastnight (Wednesday). We went out to the restaurant to eat and ordered wine all 3 times and got drunk. The first two dinners, she would constantly be on the phone with her new man and have me waiting. Which I didn't mind because I liked the fact that we are friends and still want eachother in eachother's lives.

 

Then yesterday she broke the news to me that after 3 weeks of dating and them being all serious and being madly in love and having sex, that he ended it. I was really pissed off because she left me after being together for 4 years to be with this guy then he dumps her and now she is all depressed and crying like how I was/still am.

 

She said that he said that things are moving to fast, and he is the one that made her come to his house, meet her mom, meet his whole family at a party. Then he says the sex was boring. Then he tells her his ex came back in his life and he wants to persue it.

 

Naturally I was excited because I thought we would get back. So she invites me over to her house yesterday to talk and SHE is the one that just blurts out, oh lets get back together because I think 4 years is long and I did you wrong by leaving you. And of course like and idiot I said yes lets give it a go!

 

So each time we would get drunk, she would always be very flirty with me and on the second date on the walk home she said we should have sex. I didn't take her serious and just dropped her home. But last night on our last dinner, we are all drunk and she said lets go to my house and have sex to see if we still feel the same way about eachother. I was excited and said SURE. So about 5 minutes later she changes her mind and I just go home.

 

I IM her this morning and ask if I can come over and she is like no, no I want to be alone right now. So basically I beg her because I want to go over and have sex to see where we can go from that. She doesn't know my motives and said fine you can come if you bring my birthday present early, I said sure. (Her birthday is this Saturday).

 

When I get to her house she is all depressed over this guy and I was like what happened to lastnight, it was about me and you all night why is he on your mind right now? She then percedes to destroy every last grain of me and tells me it's not gonna work and she doesn't see us ever have that relationship again and that we should just remain friends, thats it, nothing more. I was devasted because lastnight we were talking and wanted to work so badly but I think she was just doing that cuz that guy got back with his ex to see if it can work and she wants to get him jealous by letting him know she wants her ex back as well.

 

He told her that he wants to try it out with his ex and if it doesn't work he will call her again to continue. She said no that is not fair for her to just wait on him. I know she really really really wants this guy back after today. So whatever.

 

I then begger her to have sex for about 10 minutes and she is like NO, never again and she sees it as disgusting and is offended I would do this and that I was scaring her and that I should leave and we should take a break from eachother and she will date other people. But I think she is lying she is gonna wait for him like the loser she is. This girl just doesn't know what the hell she wants.

 

So anyway I am a LOSER and BIG IDIOT, I shoulda just stayed away like everyone said, instead I didn't listen and get my heart broken 2 times by the same girl within a month.

 

I guess its 100% definitely over and we will both do no contact. I don't think she will want to speak with me anyway after that last stunt I pulled.

 

YOU...sir.....are a glutton for punishment.

 

If this is love then may I never love again.

[BimmerNY]

Great stuff Sad-In-Seattle!!! I learned a lot.

 

So today was my ex's birthday. My dad said she called and for me to call her back. I called like two hours later not to sound so desperate. I asked her if she called and she said no. I said, yea you did, my dad just said you called me and for me to call back. She said that oh, she musta been drunk and just called me to say hi. (She had some cousins and other family over and were drinking with them, plus she was depressed over losing her new guy and musta wanted to get drunk to forget him.) I was like oh okay, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!". She said thankyou and asked if I had money to go out and eat, I said no, none at all. Then she asked if I was comming over in an excited voice and I said no that I will be playing basketball later on.

Since her house is on the way to the park I dropped by and stayed for like two minutes to give her the birthday card I had bought on Monday for her. When I got there she was in her mother's bed texting someone, when she saw me come in she hid her phone really quick. But I knew she was texting him. I gave her the card and kissed her on her cheek and told her happy birthday, she said thanks. She then told me that she was going out with one of her female friends to eat dinner. I asked her if the guy dropped off her stuff she said yes. She then told me that they are back together and that he is done with his ex and even changed his number. She told me they will be taking things very slowly and that she wants to be a stronger person. I told her good and said I have to go. But I could tell she didn't want me to leave she kept asking me what's new with me and I just kept walking out of her moms room pretending not to hear and I said BYE. I knew she wanted me to stay and hang out with her but I didn't want to make the same mistakes I made all month. She did me very dirty and treated me like dirt this whole month, her birthday month too.

Well, I guess she is back with her new man and will want to keep me around as her friend since this guy wants to go slow but I will be strong and when she calls to make plans and go out, but I will just say I am too busy or I don't have money or whatever. Eventually I guess she will get the hint and won't call as much.

Oh well I lost the love of my life and feel that she will always be the "ONE THAT GOT AWAY".

Whatever....you win some you lose some. In the mean time I will try to let my heart heal naturally and try to meet some new girls and hopefully find one who will like me for me and persue a relationship with her. And just forget about this girl.